We talked...

...and I feel better :)

Been having a tough time lately...

Might as well just fess up. Things have been rough & nothing seems to be going right. The only good thing that has been happening is that Beanie is sleeping better. Well, except for last night. She was up at 9:00, 12:15, 2:45 (for an hour!), 4:45 and somewhere around 6 or so. I know her molars are bothering her (the bottom ones are finally coming through!!) and I do feel bad for her, but I really was getting used to the long stretches of sleep.

Anyways, I am SO nervous about the house. I want it to sell and us to move. Granted, we are in a good position where we don't have to move, but that doesn't change how much I want to. After having a dozen showings in the first two weeks on the market, we haven't gotten one call in two weeks. I'm sure its not our specific house, but rather the general bad news and hohum about the economy that is affecting our showings. But still....it sucks!

Glenn doesn't want to talk about work, or much else either it seems. I am starving for some adult conversation! He doesn't seem to want to do anything as a family. Um, how can he not be excited to go trick or treating??? lol. I am looking forward to it, but seems like he'd rather not. Last night he went to bed early, saying there wasn't anything to do and he didn't want to watch TV. Um, how about hang out with your wife and daughter? I guess that's "nothing."

Well, I'll look on the bright side; we are meeting some friends tonight to go trick or treating at the mall and, whether or not Glenn thinks its going to be fun, I am excited. I just hope this darn rain stops as it is an outdoor mall!

So, confession...I am feeling pretty crappy! I don't have much motivation to do anything and would really like to have some happier times as a family. I know part of it is the time of year and part of it is that I'm not doing the things I know would make me feel better. I can't change how other people relate to me, but I can change how I act. So, that is my first step. Wish me luck :)

"Just pretend I'm a secret government spy..."

"...and can't talk about my job." That's what Glenn told me the other day. He has been very unhappy since being transferred a few months back. Well, truth be told, he hasn't enjoyed his job much at all, but it has gotten a lot worse since he was transferred. But, I'm a girl (obviously) and girls like to talk, even if its about the mundane nothingness that happens every day. Even about the crappy stuff. That's how women (at least me) deal. We talk. So, it is very hard for me to pretend Glenn is a super secret spy and can't discuss his job, no matter how much he hates it.

A few weeks ago we found out that he was going to be placed on a new route in November. I have been hoping that this route would be better and help him find at least some happiness in slinging bread. But, no such luck. Today he ran the route with the guy who had been running it previously. When he came home he told me that one of his stops is the hospital and he shares a loading dock with the medical examiner so the other driver told him "not to be surprised if there's a dead body on the dock." Eeeeww!! He then asked if I remembered when he first got transferred and one of the other drivers was telling him how he saw some pimp beating up one of his hoes (sorry for the frankness, but those were the other driver's exact words) while he working. Glenn had joked that he was glad that wasn't his route. Well, now it is. Crap. I guess this isn't going to work out to be the great opportunity I was hoping. I just want to cry, and I'm pretty sure Glenn feels the same way.

Happy to report...

...that Beanie seems to have settled into a groove of sleeping between six and eight hours before waking to nurse, which means more sleep for Mommy too. Yay! I really, really hope I didn't just jinx myself for a good night's sleep tonight!

A few months back my SIL asked me how I got Beanie to sleep through the night (she was telling me how she gave her son sugar water or Pedialyte or something before bed so he would STTN). I replied that she didn't, but she would someday. Just like everyone does someday.

I was looking for some information about night weaning on kellymom last night (not sure when I plan to try that, maybe sometime after 18months but we'll see) and I found this article on nursing to sleep and comfort nursing....

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html

I was so glad to read it, as it pretty much sums up how I feel about comfort nursing.

In a market like this...

...you'd think people would take a little more care when taking pictures of their home for sale.

What a spacious room *snort* So spacious they had to take the doors off the closet to cram the bed in it.



I wonder what this room is, and if the weight bench comes with the house.



Horribly out of focus, but you can still see a bunch of crap.



Sigh, I think I'll pass on checking out this house. I might have to make this a regular feature on my blog...

I'm so sleepy!

Its dark, cool, and I'm ready for bed. Really, how sad is it that it is 8:30 on a Thursday and I am beat. Unfortunately these dark fall and winter days seem to do that to me. But tonight I have to stay awake!! Its Thursday and I can't miss The Office. Darn, I wish I would've gotten a nap today, but I had way more fun hanging out with Marianne & Jun.

Sorry I've been absent lately. Its been busy around here, but I'm sure I'll get back into regular (or at least semi-regular) blogging again soon.

Red.

If you remember, the other day I was talking about the personality survey I had to fill out when completing my online application to go back to work. Well, it did come back as "red," which means I am the type of person they warn you not to hire. Please. Apparently my score was so red that they usually toss the applications of those like me.

Here is what the survey said about me:

Customer Service Assessment--

Candidates are more likely to:
-Show anger and frustration
-Argue with customers
-Criticize or make rude comments
-Be unwilling to help with difficulties
-Avoid serving some types of customers

Dependability Assessment--

Candidates are likely to:
-Make poor decisions, make mistakes, and have accidents
-Go back on promises and commitments
-Take risks and make impulsive decisions
-Have messy habits and perform sloppy work
-Show anger, criticize others and hold grudges
-Reject organizational values
-Act irresponsibly
-Break rules and not conform to set standards
-Goof off and possess immature attitudes towards work

Oh my goodness, that is soooo not me. Obviously the survey does not have predictive validity. But, oh it just makes me so mad! I never had complaints about my customer service, I was the top dairy manger in my district (and in the company for a few periods, othewise I was #2), I was meticulously organized, and (I think) a good employee. Sure, I didn't like my job much but that did not affect my performance. I followed the rules; I jumped through the hoops; I went to work, did my job, and came home.

Anyways, ever since I got my employment packet and saw this score I've been pretty peeved. What other hard working, good natured employees have they turned away because of this obviously invalid survey? Seriously, it was an improperly formed Likert scale survery. Your options were strongly disagree, disagree, agree, and strongly agree. Notice anything missing? Yes, the neutral choice. Naturally they don't want people to just pick "neutral" for everything, but in some instances people really are neutral to a statement. And, their control questions were transparent. You know, a good control question would want to find out the same thing about you, but ask it in a different way. For example, if I wanted to know if you liked the outdoors I might ask "You like nature" and later ask "You would rather spend your day indoors than outdoors." But, this survey asked the SAME EXACT question, maybe with one word changed. Ridiculous.

I have been so conflicted about going back to work, especially to this particular job and now I am even more so. Some other things have come up where I might not have to work as much, but honestly I'd rather work twice as much for half as much pay than go back to my old job.

Now I am even more conflicted about it all. I am sure I will write more about this later, but for now I must go....

Fickle is the toddler eater

Yesterday I gave Beanie a banana. When we first introduced solids she loved banana, but not so much lately. In fact, she has pretty much refused banana for the last few months. So much so that I just stopped buying them. I was making a lot of banana bread! Well, yesterday I just broke off a piece of my banana and she gobbled it up like it was the best thing ever. She kept signing "more" "more" "more" so Glenn ended up having a banana and giving her some too. So this morning I figured a banana would be the perfect compliment to her waffle and yogurt. She looked at me like I was crazy. She didn't want anything to do with it.

Sigh. I guess we'll try again tomorrow.

Its a beautiful day!!

It is a gorgeous fall day today. Crisp, cold, but sunny. As I sat on the couch this morning I thought Boy, it would be an awesome day to have people come and look at the condo. The mountains were in full view, the sun was shining, the natual light was filling our condo. It was THE perfect day. And, you know what? We got calls for two showings today! I am hopeful they went well. We have another showing scheduled for tomorrow so I am hoping for more beautiful fall weather.

******

Unfortunately, the day started in somewhat of a daze. As I said previously, all of us are feeling a bit under the weather. Beanie went to bed early last night and so did I. But she woke up just a bit before midnight and was up until almost 3:30! Too much for this tired mommy to handle. She finally fell asleep by throwing herself down the bed, over my knees, and conked out. I was able to move her up next to me and we slept until she woke up again at 5. Ack!! I was in tears. I was feeling sick, tired, and frustrated with Beanie. Most of all tired. We had just been up for almost 3 1/2 hours. What was she thinking? Poor girl. We got up, changed her diaper, gave her some Tylenol, called Glenn in tears (so much he could barely understand me), and then I nursed her and, luckily, she fell asleep. We slept until almost nine this morning. I was really hoping for a nap with her this afternoon, but we had to make due with a car nap for her and no nap for me. That's what having a house for sale will do to you, I guess. Glenn was hoping for a nap too, but both of us agreed we'd rather have the condo be shown than have a nap.

I was really bummed though because Beanie and I were supposed to go on a walk for Out of the Darkness with my sister. She did a 20 mile overnight walk for their cause a few months ago, and we were all going to head out for a 3 mile walk this morning. Out of the Darkness helps raise awareness for suicide prevention. A quite worthy cause. But, I had to text her at 7 this morning when I realized there was no way Beanie and I were going to make it to the walk. Bummer.

******

Beanie is such a good helper these days. She likes to help load the dishwasher (okay, she thinks she's helping, but she's really just unloading as I load), with the laundry, and especially with dusting. Today she grabbed her Swiffer duster and exclaimed "dust!" She is such a smart girl.

******

Alright, off to make some dinner or something. I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer so my great idea of fajitas is slowly fading away. I might have to settle on leftovers or something boring, which I really don't want to do. We've had enough boring dinners this week. Between being pretty much broke this week & having evening (read dinner-time) showings on the condo, we've had a lot of bowls of cereal.

Tag I'm it!

One of my friends Brianne tagged me to play this blog game. So, I tell you six random things about myself and then I "tag" six other bloggers to do the same. All I'm thinking is, are there six people who I know that regularly read this blog???

Alrightie, my six random things...

1. I bite my nails incessantly.
2. I have a 3rd degree brown belt in kung fu.
3. I have basically no cartilidge left in either of my knees due to running long distances when I was younger.
4. I took ballet for eleven years.
5. When I met Glenn I hated him
6. He hated me too.

Okay bloggers, "tag! now you're it!" (okay, I am impatient tonight and having terrbiel difficulties linking all your blogs so I'm just calling you out...Jill, Kristin, Nacho, & Beverly you're it! If I think of two more, you're it too!)

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random facts about yourself.
4.Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

Hop on, we're going for a ride...

I'm doing the unthinkable. Or at least entertaining the idea. I'm going back to work. Financial things being the way they are, it is just a necessity. Honestly, I hate the idea. I wouldn't mind going back in a few months when Beanie has (hopefully) cut back a little more on nursing. That is my biggest issue with going back to work. That and I said I would never go back to my old job. My old boss gave me an offer I couldn't refuse though. So, now it just depends on what is going on with Glenn's job. There is still a lot up in the air right now with his work.

I filled out the online application and, boy, it made me remember all the stupid things I hated about my job before. The questions were downright odd & I'm sure I'm going to be pegged as some crazy person who hates working with the public. A big flashing DO NOT HIRE or something. The application and personality survery are, in essence, just a formality. My old boss said to come back and he will make it work for me. He'll basically do whatever I need. Awesome. Can't turn that down.

The survery asked things like Do you like making small talk with people? No, but I think I can handle "Hi, how are you? Paper or plastic? Thank you." You prefer working on a team rather than alone. Heck no. I always said if I ever went back to work in would be in a job where I could work in solitude and not have to work with the public AT ALL. Your stuff is usually tidy. My "stuff?" Exactly what stuff are they referring to? I was reading these aloud to Glenn as I was completing the survey and our minds both went into the gutter.

The stupid survey made me dislike the idea of going back to work even more. All the bureacratic bologna I had to deal with, the people, the boring job that made me feel like my mind was slowly disintegrating. But, you know what, I don't have to enjoy it, just like it a little. It would likely only be for a few days a week. And I enjoy my other job (mommy) enough that I can handle doing some mindless crap a couple days a week in order to bring in more money. Secretly, I am hoping the "up in the air" stuff at Glenn's job gets worked out pretty soon and maybe I won't have to go back right now anyways.

******

We've had four people come by to look at the condo. Pretty postive feedback overall. One couple commented that "they didn't like the family room, that it seemed to be the only room in the house not updated." We immediately became defensive. Do they know what it used to look like? Obviously they don't, but it (to us) is very noticeably updated. We had to laugh at ourselves afterwards because just the day before we had been commenting on a couple on a show on HGTV. It was one of those shows where they have open houses and they tape what the people are saying about the house. For one, these peoples' house was cluttered to heck, they had the weirdest, most ornate furniture I have ever seen, and they had a Xmas tree up. The problem was, it was springtime. Well, when the family saw the feedback from the people who came through the open house they were very defensive. "Well, its their problem they can't see past our stuff." Well, it was also the couple's problem considering their house had been on the market over eight months. But we did the same thing! How can they not see our living room is updated? What is wrong with them? We'll see what future feedback says, but I tend to think it was just that one couple's opinion.

It really is a roller coaster having the condo on the market. We were really bummed last Saturday when we hadn't gotten any calls to show the condo. Then on Sunday we had two calls. The second couple stood outside talking to their realtor for 45minutes. We were sure it was a good sign (as we were sitting up in the visitor parking above our place, you can only drive around for so long!). They wouldn't have anything to talk about if they didn't like the place, right? Maybe they were discussing making an offer? We found out the next day that they liked the condo but they hated the complex. Ugh! Nothing we can do about that. So, I guess it was just small talk after all. It is so exciting to have a showing, then we are pins and needles waiting for the feedback, and then here we go again. Currently we are still waiting for the feedback from the 4th showing. It is the first time it has taken more than 24 hours and I am anxious to know what they thought. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure they didn't like it as there were few footprints on the carpet. Before we really looked for them, I thought they hadn't even ventured into the living room.

******

Beanie is sick. I thought it was just her molars but today I am sure she has got a little something. She is so cranky, wants to be held all day and is nursing like a newborn. Poor girl. I hope she feels better soon. Actually she is quite needy at the present moment so I must go.

More later...