Pass the granola...

So I am sitting here wondering when exactly did I become what others might refer to as "crunchy?" I guess it was a transformation that took place over time. I was going through the closet packing things up and I came across a lazy suzan-type thing for baby food jars. Obviously I didn't plan on making all my own babyfood when buying that item. I came across a post that I made on an online message board last September where I stated that "I just don't see myself breastfeeding beyond one year" and here we are at 13 1/2months and breastfeeding just as much as ever. I just posted again the other day that I don't see myself nursing beyond 2 years (and right now I really don't) but what will change by that time? I never planned on cosleeping and we have most every night since she was born. I have recently delayed some vaccinations and will probably delay more if/when we have #2. I feel strongly about natural childbirth, and while I respect every mother's right to make her own decision I wish I wouldn't get the "wow! you go girl" reaction or the feeling that people close up about their birth stories when encountered with mine. Yes, it has happened. More than once. I've been pondering buying an amber teething necklace for Beanie & thought about cloth diapering. So, when did this big transformation to crunchiness take place?



Apparently my transformation was complete when I went shopping for purses yesterday. DH described both of the ones I picked out as "hippie purses." lol. I didn't get either one, not because of his comment, but because I am waiting for my sister to get a sample purse for me from Nordstrom. I need something bigger, hopefully something that can fit my and Beanie's stuff in it comfortably. My current purse just isn't cutting it at all anymore. Anyways, here are pics of my "hippie purses."

******

Our guest bathroom will be remodeled today. Finally, it will be done! We ended up having to hire someone to do the tub but I think it will be worth it because it will be completed today and Hubby can work on other projects. The light at the end of the tunnel is near. And good thing because we found the most amazing house for sale!!! Crossing my fingers it stays on the market a little while, but I don't know...it really is an amazing house and a great price too.

******

I woke up to the drabbest weather today. It is yucky! I am glad its cooler, but I could really do without the rain. Beanie and I went to the park last night, which we haven't done for awhile. It was fun. I am hoping it clears up so we can go again this afternoon or evening.

******

My next week is so full of activities. Somethings got to give and I just have to figure out what. We are visiting my dad tomorrow, my mom's group has cool meetups every day this week, and my friend's baby shower is on Saturday. She already had her little guy (12 weeks early) and it will be good to see her at her shower. I guess perhaps a few of my meetups are going to have to go by the wayside. We will see.

White noise is my new best friend

Earlier this week, I placed a fan in Beanie's room. It has helped so much at night. She had been waking up when hubby was up getting ready for work, around 2:30 or 3am. She had been staying awake upwards of 2hours sometimes. Not good for mommies or babies. Upon the recommendation of some of my online friends, we tried using the fan for some white noise. It has worked very well! She is not waking up when hubby is getting ready at all. On the other hand, she has been waking up here and there all night and snacking on boob. Just a little and then back to sleep. She has been getting up so early though, somewhere between five and six the last few mornings. Ugh! Wish I could sleep in a little later, but I guess I'll take getting up earlier over being up for 2hours in the middle of the night!

World Breastfeeding Week

Happy World Breastfeeding Week! August 1-7, 2008

http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/

Another post on cosleeping

The other night hubby, who was on his night off and quite sleepy, was yelling that "she is 13 months old and won't even sleep in her goddamn room." Then he stomped off and went to bed while I was rocking Beanie back to sleep. I almost cried & couldn't sleep for nearly an hour because his words cut me like a knife. Not that they are inaccurate, but it was his tone of voice. Well, in fact, they are inaccurate...she will sleep in her room, with me.

I sat there thinking about how I have only done my best and what I think is right with Beanie. I have tried my hardest to be a good mom, and that includes cosleeping. I think part of the problem stems from the fact that in our pre-baby days we discussed cosleeping as something we did not want to do. Then, there I was, a new mom alone with Beanie every night. One night I brought her to bed with me to nurse and we fell asleep together. Wala! Both of us could get a lot more sleep this way. I asked hubby if he minded, since it was something we had discussed not doing before, and he said "no." It wasn't something I intended to do, or planned on being as long lasting, but Beanie and I both sleep better together. And, 5 (usually 6) nights of the week Hubby has to get up in the middle of the night for work so its not like we're really sleeping together (just sleeping, lol) anyways.

Somehow when I brought Beanie home and watched her sleep that first night something changed. It was magical. Granted, those first few nights there wasn't much sleeping going on for anyone, but you know. It clicked, I was here to take care of this little person and make sure they were safe and happy. If cosleeping makes her feel safe and happy (and me too) then that is what works for us right now. I don't feel safe putting her in her bedroom by herself at night, as it is not very close to the master bedroom. She still wakes to nurse a couple times a night and it is easier to be in the room with her. I sleep better. She sleeps better. And, save us independently minded American folks, I think it is pretty common worldwide.

When hubby criticizes or gets mad about the sleeping arrangements, I automatically get defensive. Defensive because not once in over 13 months has he put her down for bed. Granted, he works six nights a week but there is still that one night there. When he says "I've got one night a week where I can sleep in..." it immediately causes me to put my guard up. I never get to sleep in. I wake when Beanie wakes. He gets frustrated because she gets cranky when he is with her when she's tired. Well, good reason, its because she is used to, and only knows, me putting her to bed, not him. There is only one way to rectify that situation in my mind...hubby puts her to bed more often. She doesn't always nurse to sleep and can definitely go to sleep without actually suckling to sleep. It would be possible, albeit a little difficult perhaps, for him to put her to sleep. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

All said, he is my husband and we need to be a team. If he really honestly wants her in her own bed now, then I will take steps towards that goal. I think his main reason for wanting her in her own bed is that he thinks she will sleep with us forever which I just don't think is the case. But, for the sake of everyone's happiness, I guess I need to take baby steps with the Beans to have her be an independent sleeper.

I did it!

I did it! I did something for myself today. While Beanie was taking her nap I did six -- count 'em six -- scrapbook pages. Yay! I haven't scrapped in so long. Now I'm up to her 6 month photos, so I'm only 7 months behind. It was fun, now I want to work on it some more again tomorrow. We'll see what the day brings!

Eeeeewww!

So, I'm sitting here drinking my morning cup of joe (which I decided I do not like the Kona blend I picked up for the hubby) and all of the sudden I notice that Beanie is being very quiet as she's playing on the living room carpet. Naturally, I assume that quiet means she's up to no good (it was too quiet, if you know what I mean) so I go over and take a closer peek at what she is doing. Yuck!!! Sammy (the cat) had thrown up a furball on the carpet and she had picked it up and was playing with it. Disgusting!! I don't know how I didn't see it when we came out this morning. I am so glad she was just playing with it in her fingers and not testing it out in her mouth!

Cracking me up

Beanie cracks me up. She walks all around the house now, laughing and smiling, making "zzzzzz" sounds, and just being a plain old goof. Yesterday she said "dad did it" to which I texted hubby to see what exactly he had done...haha.

*********

The dairy thing is still somewhat unresolved. We started dairy again last Monday and on Friday I noticed two little hives, one on her face around lunchtime and one on her arm in the evening. I stopped dairy then, but there have been no hives since. Ugh! I told hubby I wished there was some sign that would pop up saying "Yes (or no), I am (am not) reacting to dairy!" Now I still wonder. With all the walking she is doing I am struggling to find some calorie-rich foods to give her now. Before it was yogurt, cheese, fruit, grains and veggies (okay, the veggies I'd been slacking on...bad mommy!). She loves chicken and I guess we'll try some beans and tofu. I am going back and forth whether or not to try some dairy again, or if I should just wait a month or so. I had gone to Whole Foods on Thursday (day before the hive appearance) and picked up some more yogurt and some cottage cheese for her. Maybe I should try and take it back?

**********

We are headed out in a bit for our mom's group meetup at Tully's. Its been awhile since we've gone and I'm glad to be going today. It is nice to get out and chat with other moms. Does good things for my sanity & Beanie loves interacting with the other kids. Now that she's walking so well we will probably go play in the Sensory Garden too, so we'll see how that goes. I don't know if I'll actually end up getting any espresso..... Beanie was up from 1am until 4am. Ugh! I woke up having a creepy dream just a few minutes before one & I woke Beanie up when I startled awake. I was dreaming there were bugs crawling all over the both of us in bed, so you can imagine I jumped from under the covers when I woke and in my half-awake state I was looking all over Beanie and the blanket for bugs. The little stinker was so tired, she would just about be back asleep and then rustle around, wake herself up and start crying. Over and over and over again. Poor kiddo. So, from my night it would sound like I need espresso, right? But, I had to have a cup of coffee when I woke and I've really been trying to limit my caffeine intake so we'll see. Maybe I can get decaf? I am hoping Beanie will lie down for a bit here so she will be raring to go for the playdate, otherwise I'm probably going to have one cranky toddler on my hands as 11:30 (our playdate time) approaches.

Its my Birthday!

Yay! Happy birthday to me! Its funny because my birthday kind of snuck up on me, much the way it did last year. Last year I was busy with a little newborn, and this year all the birthday planning was going into Bean's bday, not mine. Then, all of the sudden, I was thinking Wow! My birthday is in a few days. I can't think of too much I want...maybe a few hours to scrapbook, hubby to put Beanie down to bed after we go out to dinner tomorrow, my wedding rings sized (I haven't been able to wear them since I was playing around the house with Beans and both rings -- they're not soddered together -- went flying off my finger and onto the floor), a blender. I did get some money from the inlaws and an Old Navy gift card from my mom, so I will be able to buy some new clothes. Woohoo! I still don't have too many that fit properly. Am I really 29 though?

***********

I'm planning on reintroducing dairy to Beans today. We cut out all dairy a few weeks ago when she got a horrible hive-like rash all over her body. I still don't know what caused it...we washed and rewashed her clothes, put Eucerin lotion on her 2x a day, cut out the dairy. I figure the only way to know if it was dairy would be to reintroduce and see what results. The rash really didn't seem to bother her much. I am so hoping its not the dairy because that would be a real pain in the ass. Plus, she loves cheese and yogurt and since cutting them out I've felt like we've really been slacking on quality solids for her. Wish us luck! I will be happy if we can rule out dairy as the culprit to her rash....

Camping.

Tomorrow we will be taking Beanie on her first camping trip. I am so excited. I really want to start her young with enjoying the outdoors. I never camped when I was a kid, and I just think it would be so much fun as a child. Roasting marshmallows, going out to find that perfect hot dog roasting stick, looking at stars....how could that not be entirely enjoyable, especially as a wee one? I feel like I missed out!! haha. I know there will be the day when she is thinking, Ugh! Mom and Dad want to take me camping again. I am sure she will not think family camping trips are the coolest thing ever when she is older, but I hope to instill a love of the outdoors in her and hope that we have an ejoyable first camping trip as a family!

Routines.

Not only good for babies, but mommies too.

I was so proud of myself and really feeling like an accomplished SAHM before the family came into town for Bean's birthday. I was in a great routine. Got up in the morning, did chores, vacuumed and dusted the living room...every morning. Stayed offline. Stayed away from coffee, or at least drank a couple glasses of water before diving into the coffee pot. I was feeling accomplished, like I was getting things done and making some headway.

Then the fam came into town and things went to pot. I'd sat down a few times starting to blog about the happenings during their visit, but suffice it to say my mother-in-law has no respect for boundaries, the fact that I (or hubby) are the decision makers for Beans, or that we are a separate family unit of our own. I won't go into it more, I have finally (sort of) gotten over the craziness that ensued while they were in town.

I have struggled to get back into my feeling accomplished, get-things-done mode. It was a struggle to create the habit, honestly, and just when I was "getting in the groove" things got crazy. My habit hadn't been established long enough. So here I am, struggling, typing on the computer and drinking my coffee before any chores have been done this morning. My idea is to make a list of all the things I have to accomplish before I turn the computer on; it was working well to not get online until after Beans was asleep. Need to start that again. I feel so much better about myself when I have things accomplished.

On that note, I'm off to get some accomplishing done. Beans is getting a bit crankers anyways, so my coffee drinking time is up!