Overwhelmingly Anxious...

...about this upcoming trip to the in-laws. See there are a few things that make me dread this more than just about anything else in the world.

#1 -- I am a nervous freak when anything regarding the extended family comes up. Especially my inlaws. My mother-in-law has no concept of personal space (hello, she RAN down the street in Lahaina with her arm outreached like a football player to "attack" my barely pregnant belly) and she just pretty much drives me batty.

#2 -- I HATE flying on airplanes. Seriously, I think I grab Glenn's hand so hard my fingers (and his) are white from the pressure.

#3 -- Beanie has never been on a plane. I am nervous that she is going to HATE it, be that kid screaming her lungs out, etc etc. Not to mention she is quite, um, spirited and doesn't really like to sit still for 5 minutes, let alone 5 hours.

So, yea, the anxiety this all is causing me is a bit overwhelming. I'm trying to get over it because I know if I am anxious for/on/during the flight Beanie will be too. That is the last thing I want. And, while I may wish for some secret illness to creep up on us as the days approach, I really don't want that either.

So, the plan of attack is lots of snacks, toys and (maybe -- okay, definitely) a new portable DVD player that we can load up with oodles of cartoons. Maybe even a TV strike for a few days before hand so she's really itching for some cartoons? God, I don't know! Maybe a stiff drink for me?

Any other ideas?

I am hopeful that the plane ride will be uneventful and that maybe Beanie will be really cute and sweet to all the surrounding passengers. You know, like how she likes to wave and blow kisses to random people in restaurants. I'm hoping for that.

I'm also hoping that since both my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law's girlfriend are pregnant that I can escape some of the personal space invasions of my mother-in-law. Sorry gals, I love ya to death but I'm hoping they are the centers of attention and I can just fly under the radar.

So, HELP! Getting out of this really isn't an option, so getting over the anxiety surrounding it has to be.

Par-tay!!!!

In just a few hours our place will be overrun by toddlers. Thankfully, mother nature was kind to me and the weather is nice. A bit chilly, might have to find a back-up birthday outfit but, hey, its dry and I see some blue sky so I'm counting it as a win!

As for me, I think I need a double latte and some motivation to get the last few chores/errands done this morning....

"You too Mama."

Seeing that Beanie repeats nearly everything we say, I have been waiting for her to say I love you. Nothing yet. Nothing even close. Until this morning. I said I love you Beanie and she replied You too Mama.

Okay, I realize its not I love you, but my heart totally melted anyway. What a sweetie!

Sleep Success.

Last night Beanie slept in her big girl bed by herself from 8:15 - 3:15. Then I nursed her and she slept until 4:30 when she woke so I went in and slept the rest of the morning with her. Progress!

The downside is she only napped for about 20min in the car yesterday and was in super-cranko mode most of the afternoon. Or at least teeter-tottering from super cranky to I'm-having-the-most-fun-ever.

But, hey, we can't win them all! She went down for a nap at 10:15 this morning (super early for her) so we'll see how tonight goes. I hope this early napping thing isn't a new trend since I scheduled her bday party for 10am so it would be before the tiredness set in.

Its quiet. Beanie is napping and Glenn went out for a bike ride. I should be taking a shower. Or cleaning. Or wrapping Beanie's presents. Or a multitude of other things. Alas, here I am....

Super Peeved.

Ugh! So a little bit ago we ordered a new carseat (a Britax Marathon) from this website that my friend told me about. They had great prices and she had gotten her seat 4 days after she ordered it. Sounded great!

Well, the carseat was supposed to arrive last Friday. I was waiting all day Friday for it to come as the tracking number I had indicated that it was "out for delivery." Late Friday night when I checked the tracker it stated that the delivery had been rescheduled for today, Monday. So here I am this morning, waiting. Again.

When we got home from running some errands I checked the tracking website again. This is what I see..

MERCHANDISE IS MISSING. UPS WILL NOTIFY THE SENDER WITH ADDITIONAL DETAILS. / ALL MERCHANDISE MISSING, EMPTY CARTON WAS DISCARDED. UPS WILL NOTIFY THE SENDER WITH DETAILS OF THE DAMAGE.

What the heck??? So basically what you're telling me is that between Friday night and Monday morning some UPS dude (or chick...not discriminating here) STOLE my carseat right out of the box? Classy.

So, yea, not only am I super peeved, I'm also pretty pissed off.

I called Traveling Tikes and they are calling UPS and then will get back to me....

Time flies.

At the end of the week my baby is going to be two. TWO!!! Where did the time go? Wasn't she just learning to crawl? Didn't I just give birth like two seconds ago?

We are having a birthday playdate at the house on Friday with eight of Beanie's little friends. I am crossing fingers and toes that the weather will be nice so I can have a yard full of toddlers opposed to a house full of toddlers. On Saturday we are having a few (and I emphasize few) people over for her actual birthday. Turns out its only going to my sister, dad & stepmom. My stepbrother and his wife are going out for their anniversary and my other stepsister is watching the kids that day. My brother-in-law and his girlfriend are moving, working an insane amount of hours, and pregnant. Yea, people are busy. I'm a little bummed there won't be too many people there, but, after having the toddler party the day before, I might end up being pretty darn glad!

It just seems unreal that she is going to be 2. Unreal and amazing at the same time! Its unbelievable how much my life has changed in the last two years. I truly believe I have become a much better person being a mom. And I have Beanie to thank for all of that.

The month is halfway over...

...well more than halfway now, but I added up our spending on groceries for the first 15 days of June. I was all jazzed to see the total because we haven't been going to the store every day, have been eating more of what we already had at home, etc etc. Well, I was jazzed until I saw the total. Over $450??!?!?! What the heck! Here I was feeling like we were doing great and we've been bleeding money on the groceries. Sure, I know our fridge went out so we had to restock. The first 15 days also included not one, but two, trips to Costco where we stocked up on things that we will likely (hopefully) use longer than just this month. That's how Costco works, right? At least when you're a family of 3? The first 15 days also included 2 trips to Trader Joes, a store which I love to death, but, let's face it, its impulse shopping central.

So, yea, I about crapped myself when I added it up. Darnit!

Super Exhausted.

So this probably won't be as thorough as it could be ;)

I've been sleeping in the master for short bits at night. Mostly for the start of the night. Beanie has been waking up more than she was when we were cosleeping. I'm not surprised. The first night I actually fell asleep in the master (yay!) but the damn cat was racing around the house and startled me awake (like seriously startled, you know the feeling when you get woken up just as you've drifted off to sleep) and woke up Beanie too. I went in to cuddle her back to sleep and fell asleep with her. Night two Beanie put up a terrible fight going to bed. I was exhausted and fell asleep next to her. I woke up an hour or so later and went into the master. I think I fell asleep, but not really sure. I may have just been daydreaming, staring at the ceiling when she woke up. Tonight she put up another incredible fight going to bed. I'm not sure if its the change in sleeping arrangements, the fact that I think she's getting her 2 year molars in or what but I am so over the whole yes-mama-I'm-overly-tired-but-no-way-am-I-going-to-sleep thing.

Tonight I was in tears because I was just so exhausted. She said "Mama" and started rubbing and patting my back. Then promptly went to sleep. Sweet girl. I love her so much. It was a long evening so I don't think that helped. She was cuckoo-baby-nuts and Glenn was all upset because he couldn't watch the news without her making noise. He wanted her to sit still and watch the news with him. Hello??!?! She's 2. I don't think she's really into the national news. And so he got all snappy with me, like why can't I take her into another room so he can have some peace and quiet and watch the news. Yea, because I have like no interest in peace and quiet or the news. You know, sometimes it just happens you don't get to watch the show you want to watch. That's part of having a toddler!

Anyway, quite a tangent there...sorry! She is sleeping now and I should be too. While she hasn't been nursing at night she has been waking a lot (teething again?? I wonder) and wanting to play with my boobs. I try to nip it in the bud (pun intended...lol) because it sort of drives me batty. I don't mind her using me as a pillow, but I do mind her little baby fingers all over my boobs. I don't know what exactly is going on, but I'm just trying to take it one night at a time.

So, consider yourself updated! For now I'm going to try to go to sleep. Or at least stare at the ceiling in the master until I'm really super exhausted enough to crash out.

And, in other news for you die-hard Beanie fans, she pooped on the potty today. That's right...#2! She got a whole bunch of M&Ms for that :)

Transitioning ME to independent sleep

That's right, I said me not Beanie. Everyone always talks about transitioning your child to independent sleeping, but I've come to the realization that its just as hard (maybe harder) for the parent. In our case I'm absolutely certain it is harder for me than for Beanie.

One night last week I was going to sleep in the master with Glenn. I laid there. Couldn't sleep. My mind was racing. After Glenn fell asleep I broke down and went into Beanie's room and laid with her. So, the plan of attack was to try on Glenn's night off because my other worry was that she would wake a lot and he wouldn't get any sleep before work. That would've meant Saturday was the night. Well, turns out Saturday is my night to get a good night's sleep because I have to work on Sundays. So, yea, my totally anxious behind went and slept with Beanie. Then there was last night. Beanie took a super long (and late) nap for Glenn while I was at work and she didn't fall asleep until about 10pm. I fell asleep lying down with her. (And, sidenote here, but why is it that when Beanie goes to sleep at 8pm she sleeps until 7am, but when she goes to bed at 10pm she's up at 6???)

So, that brings us to tonight. I know I just need to bite the bullet and sleep in the master. But its hard. I've slept with Beanie every night since she was born. And, while I'm ready to move on from the cosleeping, I've enjoyed sleep sharing with her and am sort of sad to see it go too.

I am convinced she is more ready for this transition than I am. Who knows, maybe I'll be happily surprised and she'll sleep like a gem tonight. I know I won't, but, hey, no one said this whole parenting thing was easy, right?

Day Three

...of potty training. Or, not so much training as just giving it a whirl. Yesterday we bought a glass jar and some M&Ms. We filled up the jar in front of Beanie and told her they were special and just for when she went peepee on the potty. So now we have special star stickers and M&Ms.

This morning was day three of pee on the potty. Yesterday we only caught a tiny bit. This morning she did really well. I gave her the sticker and the M&M. She's never had a M&M before and she really liked it!

A little later (maybe ten minutes) she comes over into the kitchen, signs more, sticks out her tongue & points at it, and points at the M&Ms. I felt her diaper and it was big and wet so then I was left trying to explain that we only get M&Ms when we pee in the potty, not in our diapers.

I guess tomorrow I'll have to try and get her to sit on the potty for a bit longer in the morning. She kept getting up this morning and I kept sitting her back down. We have a potty book that's she been reading, but maybe I need to get another book for the bathroom?

I'm glad we waited until now to potty train because she really seems ready. Maybe more ready than I'd like her to be, haha! Like I said before, I'd really like to wait until after we get back from Georgia to really go with potty training. We could always wait until we get back to really try and get big girl panties and all.

Anyway, I'm so proud of her and absolutely dying over the fact that she was sticking out her tongue and pointing at it for more M&Ms. I hope my explanation was two-year-old friendly!