Sunday Surf: First Edition

I keep thinking I should join in the Sunday Surf with Mamapoekie. Mostly because I link a lot of posts on my Facebook, posts that perhaps would be more interesting to my blog readers than to many of my Facebook friends. I still link them on Facebook. I figure it's my personal page (I keep thinking maybe I need a Facebook page for my blog, but then I remember I'm trying to cut back on my online time, not increase it) and I can do with it what I want. I also figure that you never know who might gather a tidbit of useful information from a post I link. They also might hide me on Facebook, but I suppose that's another problem all together.

So, without further ado, here's my very first Sunday Surf -- the best of what I've read in the last week (plus a few extra goodies from earlier this month):

• You are not a perfect parent by Annie at PhD in Parenting. Granted this is not a new post, but she linked it on her Facebook fan page today and it is definitely worth the read. A good reminder that no one is perfect.
• What to hate about 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. When I was pregnant with Beanie I remember hearing about how awful this book was. Luckily my OB gave me a copy of Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn by Penny Simkin and I never touched WTEWYE.
• The hottest gluten-free launches of 2011 (so far) by the Scottsdale gluten-free Examiner. I can't wait to try some Rudi's hotdog buns, especially since the ones I tried last night were inedible. And new flavors of Luna & Larry's coconut milk ice-cream. I'd also like to try the new Amande yogurt, since Cascade Fresh was my favorite yogurt in my dairy eating days.
• Why preschool shouldn't be like school explains how the research shows that children need "a rich, stable, and safe world, with affectionate and supportive grown-ups, and lots of opportunities for exploration and play. Not school for babies."
• A good reminder that rear facing carseats aren't just for babies anymore.
• And, just for fun (and because Jenny Lawson's aka The Bloggess' posts on The Stir make me bust a gut every time) -- Lesson 12: Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms: Worst Cage Match Ever
• If you've been following our random acts of kindness for the March of Kindness, check out this wrap-up post from Code Name: Mama
• I'm also still trying to get through reading all of the Top Ten lists from the March Carnival of Natural Parenting.

So, there you go! A little bit of reading for you to enjoy. If you've read something really great this week post a link in the comments so I can check it out.

March of Kindness: Following Beanie's Lead

It's the end of another week in our March of Kindness with Code Name: Mama (and amazingly I'm actually getting this post up on Saturday!). Something we've really been trying to focus on, not for the March of Kindness but just all around and for the last few months, is spending one on one time with Beanie, playing with her and following her lead.

My counselor told me the following about how an older sibling might feel about their new brother or sister:


Imagine that your partner puts an arm around you and says, "Honey, I love you so much, and you're so wonderful that I've decided to have another wife (or husband or partner) just like you."  When the new wife (or husband or partner) finally arrives, you see that (s)he's very young and kind of cute. When the three of you are out together, people say hello to you politely, but exclaim ecstatically over the newcomer. "Isn't (s)he adorable! Hello sweetheart... You are precious!" Then they turn to you and ask, "How do you like the new wife (or husband or partner)?" (more on siblings here)

I also am almost done reading Playful Parenting (which I really can't recommend enough!) so we are taking those ideas and running with them.

All this to say that this last week we really had some good times with Beanie. I'm sure things are easier because Glenn has been on vacation the last ten days so we've had lots of opportunities for one on one time with the kids. I thought for this weeks wrap-up I'd share a few of the things we did to really make Beanie feel special and important (which, of course, she is, but I think it's been a big change having a needy little brother):

• Wednesday afternoons are always busy for us; I have my counseling session and then a chiropractic appointment immediately afterward. Then rush home, eat dinner, etc. Apparently this week while I was gone, Beanie fell asleep while cuddling with Glenn on the couch. As soon as she woke up she said, "Let's go to the park!" I could think of about a dozen other things to do; my counseling sessions have been hard (which Glenn assures me means they're working), I'm nervous about my chiropractic benefits running out, we needed to make dinner, I wanted to relax, etc. But, off we went to the park. And we had a great time!
• After Bubby's morning nap on Thursday, Glenn and I were sitting on the couch discussing what we should do with our day. Beanie walked out and said, "We should go to the zoo. We can see lots of animals and maybe some penguins, too." Again, the laundry list of things that we needed to do (like laundry) crossed my mind, but we packed lunch and headed to the zoo.
• This morning, Glenn took Beanie out for a Daddy-Daughter date at the pancake store (aka a local restaurant). This was the perfect Daddy-Daughter date since I can't eat at the pancake store anymore. During breakfast, Beanie mentioned that it was sunny out and she'd like to go the "Clifford Park" later in the day. We incorporated that into our plans. And -- bonus -- some friends were close by and met us there. Perfect!

I think that it's easy for us, as parents, to get caught up in the want-to's and need-to's when, in reality, the thing we really need to do is care for our children and help them grow to their fullest potential. The best thing we can do is follow our child's lead and let them know that we really do think what they want to do is important too.

Other random acts of kindness this week included waking up early and making coffee and breakfast for Glenn, making a big pot of pasta sauce and freezing half for a friend who just gave birth, and making sure I was able to take some time for myself.

I'm also going to show some love to fellow March of Kindness bloggers after reading this awesome post from Zoie at Touchstone Z. You should too!

What random acts of kindness have you performed lately?

Wordless Wednesday: Birthday Cake

 

I'm linked up at Accustomed Chaos, Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network (where the theme is healthy eating but, hey, the cupcakes were gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free!!), so click on over for more Wordless Wednesday posts.

Happy Birthday Bubby!

One year ago at 3:43 A.M. I met this guy:

Bubby. 1 day old sleeping on Daddy.

Today my baby boy turns one.

Bubby, enjoying some gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free cupcake.

 

 

 Happy birthday sweet boy!

I've been reflecting a lot on his birth, the last year and etc as his birthday approached. I had all these posts I wanted to write leading up to his birthday, but other things came up. Like enjoying Glenn's vacation. And preparing for his birthday party (which I am happy to say I was able to enjoy fully even though the preparations and the thought of so many people -- man, family adds up fast --  in the house made me more than a bit anxious!). And baking and testing out cupcakes.

Cupcakes!

 

I really wanted to make cupcakes that Bubby and I could eat and that people who didn't have to be gluten-, dairy- and soy-free would enjoy, too. I think we were successful. Or everyone was lying to me.

My sister always celebrates "birthday week," so maybe I'll get around to those posts sometime this week.

I can't believe I have a one-year old!

If you haven't read Bubby's birth story, click here for a good read.

Another Week of Kindness.

It's the end of the second week of our March of Kindness with Code Name: Mama. I feel like I can't really remember what we did every single day (I guess I should keep a list on a notepad or something!) -- maybe because we were busy preparing for Bubby's first birthday party (more on that later).

I've been trying to talk to Beanie about our random acts of kindness. She is all about her brother's birthday right now and was so helpful with preparing and getting things ready for the party. She also was very thoughtful and wanted to go and pick out her very own present for Bubby. She has this sweet pea baby, which she has affectionately named Sleeping Baby. Bubby loves playing with Sleeping Baby so Beanie thought it would be a good idea to get him one too. I was impressed she thought of that all on her own so I took her shopping to the local vitamin store where I knew they had sleeping babies and let her pick one out. She picked out a pink and purple one and I did guide her to a different one, not because I care if Bubby has a pink baby, but because I didn't want them to get their babies mixed up. As soon as Bubby saw his sleeping baby, he had a huge smile and has been playing with it ever since.

Probably my favorite random act of kindness this week was arranging for my dad and step-mom to come watch the kids so Glenn and I could go out for a cup of coffee. We don't get much (really any) time to the two of us, so it was really nice to get out and chat over a cup of coffee. I think we get stuck in our roles of mom and dad and too often neglect our roles as husband and wife. We've really been making more of an effort to reconnect and I was glad we got to get out just the two of us.

I also messaged a friend and we met up for coffee today as well (two cups of coffee still weren't enough to keep this mama awake after losing an hour of sleep and suffering from insomnia all night long). It's nice to get out and chat with a friend over coffee, makes me remember that I'm not the only one feeling overwhelmed. I think it was good for both of us to get out sans kiddos for awhile!

So, those were the highlights of our week of kindness. I'll try to be better about remembering what all we do. This last week was definitely a busy one!

What random acts of kindness have you performed lately?

March of Kindness: Week One Round-Up

***I meant to post this yesterday, but oops! I thought it would be nice to do weekly round-ups on Saturdays, but this one will have to be a day late!***

As I posted earlier, I decided to join in the March of Kindness hosted by Dionna at Code Name: Mama. This is a round-up of week one. It's been a somewhat slow start to our month of kindness, but I'm trying to keep in mind that the acts we commit don't have to be great or earth-shattering (trust me, they won't be!), but rather small acts that show others that we care.



This week I was kind to my husband. I told Glenn to go into the bedroom and eat his lunch and relax when he got home from work. Doesn't sound too big, right? But, the fact of the matter was that it was an extremely hectic morning here and I really wanted to close myself in the bedroom for some peace and quiet when he got home. He's had a really rough week at work though, and I knew he needed it more than I did. This week I was kind to myself. As the kids napped and Glenn watched some television, I snuck out for a solo trip to the library. It was nice and I'm really excited to start reading the copy of Naomi Aldort's Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves that I picked up. This week I was kind to my father. To say we have a strained relationship would be putting it mildly and things have been especially difficult as I work through some things with my counselor, but I called and had a good ol' chat with him on his birthday. This week I was kind to my sister. She broke her foot and can't drive, so Glenn picked her up after work on Saturday and brought her to our house to visit. We went shopping, had a girls date with Beanie, and cooked her dinner.

So far, so good for our March of Kindness. What random acts of kindness have you performed lately?

The Preschool Predicament

It's March and, as a parent of a preschooler, that means we should already be enrolled and have our plans set for the 2011-2012 school year. Except for one thing...

...We aren't doing preschool.

Gasp.

I'll be honest and say that I really gave it some good thought, not because I thought Beanie needed to learn and socialize away from home but because, with my PPD, I wondered if I was going to be able to give her what she needed. It seems there is so much pressure put on children (and parents) and at younger and younger ages. I met a mom whose son had just turned one and friends were asking if she'd thought about where he'd go to preschool. A friend told me that when they moved here others told her they needed to start preschool at 2 1/2 because kindergarten was so competitive. Kindergarten? Competitive? Surely five year olds aren't all about competition at school. Is it the parents? The public school system? I don't know.

We've decided to home preschool Beanie for sure. We lean toward an unschooling approach to preschool learning and I just don't really see what she needs to know that Glenn or I can't teach her. We can socialize through our playgroups and through classes at through parks and recreation and the like. There's other factors like the fact that many preschools are church based (something weren't not interested in) and the fact that any preschool except for a co-op is probably cost-prohibitive for us right now (and, really, if we're doing a co-op why not just be at home?).

I'm excited that our AP moms group is working to put together a co-op of its own. I don't know how it will all pan out, but I have high hopes because there are quite a few of us who are interested and a lot of good ideas floating around. I think that it really could provide a bit of needed structure to our learning. I also think it will be nice for Beanie to learn from other moms and for her to be interacting with the same group of kids on a consistent basis. I'm really excited and it makes me feel even better about our decision not to send her to preschool.

While we're in limbo with the moms group co-op I'd like to add some structure to what we're learning about. Do structure and unschooling go together at all? Whatever. It's not about the labels. Basically, I'd like to set aside some time a few days a week to sit down for "learning time." We can play it by ear and see where we go with it. Right now my idea is to rotate through days about letters, numbers/math, science and arts & crafts. Not all of these have to be sit down activities of course. We learn about numbers when we're at the grocery store or when we're baking. We talk about science when we discuss weather and bugs. She's really been into drawing and painting lately, something she didn't hold much interest in before. I feel like we've deforested a rain forest with all the paper she's gone though, but what's a mom of a three year old to do?

I'm excited about where this next year of learning will take us. So far, our plan is to go to public school for K-12, but we'll see where we end up with that, too.

Do you homeschool/unschool/etc? What are your favorite resources?

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday: The Real Housewives

As I talked about before, during the PPD Chat on Twitter we were talking about realizing that no one is perfect. Many times, moms have this image of what the "perfect mother" is. In my mind, one of the things the "perfect mother" has is a spotlessly clean house. Of course, no one really does (or they have a really good housekeeper!). A few people (including myself) talked about feeling bad or guilty when seeing pictures on blogs, seeing people saying "this was a bad day" and having a good looking kitchen, living room, etc in the picture. I know I had to step away from some blogs for awhile, especially those that were making me feel guilty about reaching the unattainable Super Mom image in my head. I know people often put their best faces forward, so to speak, on their blogs, but today I'm keeping it real! It was suggested in the chat that we post pictures of our perfectly imperfect houses and our happy, smiling children.

My perfectly imperfect kitchen

My perfectly happy boy, who could care less about the kitchen counter.

Check out My Postpartum Voice to see more messy houses and happy kids. I'm also linked up at Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network, so click on over for more Wordless Wednesday posts.

Redefining "A Good Day"

Pacific City, OR 2009

I've been thinking about what it means to have "a good day" since the PPD Chat on Twitter yesterday (which, as an aside, I finally figured out how people chat on Twitter!).

So often our expectations of a day impact whether we see it as good or bad. Usually those expectations are set based on what we want to (or think we need to) accomplish and how we want others to perceive us. For example, I used to have this checklist of things that "had to" be done, usually before hubby got home from work. The laundry list included everyone eating breakfast, tidying up the house, getting out for a playdate or errand, getting Bubby down for his nap, and learning time for Alexa. Difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish when Hubby gets home before noon most days. It was that expectation of perfection, the thought that there were all these things I "had to" do, all these things that other mothers seemed to be able to do without trouble.

But now I've started to redefine how I think about good days. A good day is when we all get up (hopefully not too early) and eat breakfast. Maybe I get a couple chores done. Maybe not. The kids and I play in the playroom. I leave my phone in the other room. I don't think about what I "have to" get done, the blog I want to compose, or the bills that need to be paid. I enjoy my time with them. Maybe we get an errand done. Usually not. The kids are usually dressed by the time hubby gets home. I'm usually still in my sweats unless we've gone out with friends.

And, you know what? That's a good day. Good days (and good mothers) aren't defined by clean kitchen counters and problem-less days. It's about really taking the time to be present and enjoy the day, hiccups and all.

What's your definition of a good day?

Back to the Basics Batman.

Or not Batman.

Whatever.

Over the last couple months (maybe since NaBloPoMo?) I've struggled with writing because I enjoy it and writing because I want to be heard. I've also struggled because, well, life has been a struggle and many things on my mind seem more appropriate for my counselor than my blog.

But, it's a new month. It's March! In February lingering illnesses prevented us from going out and doing much even thought I was feeling a lot better emotionally. I'm hoping March is our month, that we can really enjoy it. I'm looking forward to a great month with my family (and Bubby turns one this month! Eek!), my friends and my blog.

Forget statistics, followers, and all that other savvy blogging nonsense. When you love to write it shows, and that is what attracts readers to your blog. I guess it helps to have something meaningful to say, but I'd like to interject more oh-my-gosh-guess-what-happened-to-us-today stuff, too.

What do I have in store? Honestly, I really don't know. Just some good down-to-earth blogging about the things I'm passionate about...

We'll see how it pans out.