I quit,

Not blogging, don't worry LOL.

Today I resumed my stint in full-time stay-at-home mommyhood. I went back to work one day a week when Beanie was 17months old. It was something that just needed to be done due to some life circumstances. My bosses were great -- I basically wrote my own schedule and I actually enjoyed working most of the time. Glenn stayed at home with Beanie while I worked.

But that one day a week is one of our family days. With Glenn working farther from home the time we get to spend together as a family is hard to come by. And now there's another kiddo in the equation.

I applied for FMLA only to find out that I didn't work enough in the last 12 months to qualify (should've done a little more research I guess, but it wouldn't have changed things because I never would've been able to work enough to qualify anyways). So the only leave I got was 8 weeks of medical leave. They wanted me back to work when 2.0 (still trying to find that nickname that sticks!!) was not even two months old. I was heartbroken at the thought of going back when he was three months old, but not even two?!?!?

After a lot of talking and number crunching and more number crunching we decided I would quit work. No surprise but I wasn't bringing home the bacon working only one day a week. It was nice additional income and when Glenn got his permanent route it became nice needed income. So we're going to pinch the pennies like there's no tomorrow so I can stay home full time once again. Truth be told, I'm a bit nervous. I know we can cut our expenses by a lot (I am amazed at how little some of my friends spend on groceries and etc) but our financial mindset has to completely change. No more I-just-don't-feel-like-cooking-let's-go-out-to-eat (but let's face it, with a toddler and a newborn that isn't exactly an easy option either). No more driving through the espresso stand. No more impulse buying at Costco. Or Trader Joes (which will really kill me!). We'll be doing lots of free events with our playgroups.

But let's face it. Everyone sacrifices whether they work or not. If you stay-at-home you sacrifice having a dual income and a different lifestyle. If you work you sacrifice being with your child all day. To be honest, I have no idea how working moms do it since I feel like I have more than enough work as a stay-at-home mom.

I'm so glad I do have this opportunity. My kiddos are only going to be this small once. I'm excited. And a little bit scared. Mostly excited.

Reflections.

Sorry about the blog neglection. I really have come to loathe typing one-handed this time around and 2.0 is pretty colicky making quiet time hard to come by. But right now he's soundly sleeping (of course, he was up most of the night!) but Beanie is awake and cleaning her playroom (at least she's supposed to be) so I thought I'd try to blog really quickly.

Before my reflections, 2.0 is doing great (besides the whole colic matter). He gained almost 4lbs between being discharged from the hospital and his 1mth appointment. Score: 1 for Mommy's Milk. He usually sleeps pretty well once he winds down from the all-out screaming. Last night we passed up the screaming (yay!) but he was up at 1:30 until about 4 or so (upset the last hour) and then again at 5. Ah, this too will pass. Beanie is doing great being a big sister. I love seeing how she interacts with her little brother and can't wait till he's a bit older and they can giggle and play together.

So, okay, on to my original idea for this post...

I really am so glad that I switched my prenatal care. I've thought about this A LOT, but I wholeheartedly believe that my birth experience would've been far different if I would've been in the care of my OB and not the MW practice. I think about all the times during my prenatal care that I had a funny feeling leaving my appointments (starting at the first appt!) and wish I would've done something about it sooner. That's my only regret. I kept thinking that maybe we should switch and it wasn't until I was 33 weeks pregnant and I REALLY got a bad feeling that I took the leap. And I just had this feeling -- that's what I told Glenn. I told him it was a sign that we needed to switch. He laughed and commented that I wasn't the superstitious type (and I'm not) but I just knew what we had to do. And when I met with the midwife the feeling turned into a strong conviction. WE HAD TO SWITCH. I walked out of the midwife's office with a lighter step, a smile, and a weight lifted from my shoulders.

Little did I know that I would have non-progressing contractions for almost 18 hours and a high leak in my water bag. Add those two things together and, in my OB practice, I'm sure I would've been hooked up to some pitocin to "help" me along. Since I absolutely hated lying down for even the shortest bit of time I'm sure I would've ended up with more interventions. I wouldn't have been able to labor at home when I thought my water bag had broken, they would've wanted me to come in right away. And I needed those 6-7 hours between my water leaking and being admitted for my body to be ready.

I'm just glad I switched. All along I never imagined I'd have such a different labor experience than I had with Beanie. I just had this feeling that I should switch because I was so unhappy with the care received at the OB's office (and the whole bleeding-to-death comment by the OB sort of sealed the deal). Come to find out it was likely the best decision I ever made for 2.0 and myself. I thought about this A LOT after having 2.0. I just know things would not have turned out the same. I guess what I want to say the most, because maybe it will help someone somewhere) is that if, for any reason, you are uncomfortable with your care you should make the switch. You just never know how things will turn out and it's better to be in the care of someone you're comfortable with than someone you're not.

Bleh -- a change of plans.

Glenn got a call from one of his stores this afternoon and had to head out there this afternoon. On his day off. The day that I thought I just might actually get a bit of time to myself (besides a shwower). The day that it's nice out and I thought we could all go for a walk. The day I'm feeling blah and tired and down. Poo.

I did get a chance to write an article this morning (check out the Examiner linky in the sidebar) while Beanie was outside playing and Glenn was working on the shed.

Maybe it'll just be an extra-long shower kind of day!

Adventures in Nursing in Public

Sorry for my absence from the blog-o-sphere. I'm sure all you mommies understand. Glenn went back to work on Monday and I am sort of getting the hang of having two kiddos & being on my own from 6pm one evening until 1pm the next day. I promise to post a proper update on all things 2.0 soon, but for now I just need to toot my own horn a little.

I nursed in public with 2.0 for the first time the other day. We had headed up to the Tulip Festival on what was supposed to be the nicest day (weather-wise) of the week. We ended up getting there right around lunchtime so the plan was to stop and get something to eat and have Beanie pee on the potty. We ended up stopping at the only place in town that was open for lunch and had quite a long wait. I was secretly hoping 2.0 would wake up and be hungry while we were waiting for our food, but, no, he had his mommy radar on and woke up right after my food arrived.

But I didn't even give it a second thought. I pulled him up out of the carseat and nursed him in the restaurant. I did have an Udder Cover to help me feel more comfortable. I *never* would've felt comfortable doing that with Beanie, especially not at 3 weeks old. Okay, I NIP with her when I needed to but I always sort of felt like I would rather not. I don't know why, that was just how I felt, especially early on. When she was older I always was more comfortable nursing in the car or somewhere quiet because she was so curious and would pop off and want to know what was going on. But here I was in a packed restaurant nursing my 3 week old baby. Hooray for me. And I didn't even worry if anyone noticed. I mean, even with Beanie I was always sure I was more convinced people were noticing more than they actually were. I'm sure people have better things to do and look at than worry if I'm feeding my child. And, really, why should I care anyways? I'm not really comfortable (and wonder if I'd ever be) with whipping the boob out and nursing. I mean, if I'm at my house and have people over or whatever then more power to me. And if someone else is comfortable with whipping it out then more power to them. I'm glad I got the Udder Cover though because it really does make ME feel more comfortable nursing out and about. And, FSM knows, I'm not going to be able to just sit around the house and nurse the baby. Especially not with a three year old. Beanie and I need to get out of the house for sure. Otherwise we'll go insane. So, yay for me. I was super proud of my "accomplishment."

And, on a side note. The weather SUCKED the day we went to the Tulip Festival. Cold and biting winds. Poor Beanie's eyes were watering because it was so windy. We didn't stay long. I think 2.0 was the only warm one, all cozy in the Moby. Which is another thing I'm glad I've tried out this time around. How on earth did I live without it with Beanie who constantly wanted to be in my arms and held? Love, love, LOVE the Moby. And 2.0 does most of the time too.

Okay, that's all for now. We've been attempting to get out of the house all morning, but with a gassy baby, a tired mama and a silly toddler it's taken quite awhile. So long that I realized Beanie needed lunch before we could head out.