Saturday, January 31, 2009


(No, not the facial wash.)

I've been feeling kind of down lately. Haven't been able to meet up with many friends lately, Glenn is working 50-60 hours a week now, and it seems like once we get going in the morning and have the house staged and ready to go it is about time for Beanie's nap. Well, whine no more! Yesterday I set up a few meetups for my Mommy group. Its time to get out more -- its good for Beanie AND for me too. I do hate feeling like everything has to be perfect and pristine before we can leave the house, but its just something that has to be done. And I can take care of it a little more efficiently in the mornings and get out of the house a bit earlier too.

So, I am being proactive about meeting up and getting out of the house more. Anyone want to join us? I can't wait till its nicer out (and warmer) out and we can just jet over to the park in the mornings. Man, I hope there is a park close to our new house. But, for now, I'll be happy there's a really nice park less than a mile away from this one!

Friday, January 30, 2009


...and since my Adventures in Mommyhood blog has become more of a journal of my own than a blog about motherhood, I'd better spice it up a bit with some actual parenting stuff :)

Glenn bought these wood blocks for Beanie last week. They are SO cool. We've been trying to turn the TV off (BAD habit we've started) and do some other activities. She loves playing with them and we've also started playing matching games with them too. Its a lot of fun!

So. damn. frustrated.

I've been trying not to worry about it all, but I just can't shake it. I feel like there's a cloud of unknown EVERYTHING over me. I feel like I'm stuck in a place where I don't have any control over what is happening. When will we sell the house? Is Glenn going to have a job in six months? Will I be working in six months? Will we get an offer that allows us to pay off the car AND have a down payment? Should we just run with it if we don't?

I know people say not to worry about what you can't control, but easier said than done, right?

And I'm really frustrated that the bastards (okay, logically I know they're really not bastards but to me, right now, they are) who put their condo on the market the same day as we went on & who (obviously) priced their condo to sell before ours got an offer the first day they were on. What the hell people??!?! What frustrates me even more is it was probably the guy who came to look at our condo that day and ended up buying theirs. Frustrating as hell I tell you.

But what can I do? Nothing. I'm off to worry about (or at least do something about) the things that are in my control. First off, I need a shower :)

Monday, January 19, 2009

No, I'm not lost forever...

...just having an incredibly hard time finding the where-with-all to blog with this silly desktop in the master bedroom. Its sort of hard to get anything worthwhile written out with a 19month old crawling over your lap, trying to help you type, figuring out how to insert (and scratch) CDs in the drive, and (sometimes) pushing the power button off right when I'm in the middle of something.

So, yea, its been difficult. I haven't been keeping up on my message boards (miss you July mommas), haven't had the chance to thoroughly read all the blogs I love to read, and (worst of all) can't waste umpteen hours away doing mindless activities on the computer each evening. For some reason I've been overly tired and going to bed pretty darn early so at least I'm not wasting my brain away watching Rock of Love 3. Anyone?? Do those girls just get trashier every season? Sorry, I just can't stomach it anymore.

A lot has happened since I have blogged last. Glenn heard his job was saved, then received a layoff notice with one week left to work, scrambled around looking for a job only to find out last minute that he had a temporary "stay of execution" (his words) and has a job for the next 4-6 months. He has a new route and it does about double in sales what his old route did. Nice for the paycheck, not so nice that he's working 12 hour days, watching Beanie on his days off and (seemingly to me) super cranky and stressed. Luckily I have Wednesday off and I'm hoping he can get out for some hiking and photography. He, obviously, needs a break. He says he's not worried about it, but I am worried he is going to be overworked and get ill or something. Since its just a temporary spot I can't really quit my job yet, although I am hoping to cut back and maybe only work one day a week.

The house is back on the market. We dropped the price $15k and are hoping that will help result in an offer. We had a lot of traffic this weekend, four showings on Saturday!!! The first people were here for an hour (the realtor for 1 1/2 hours). Who knows what's up with that. I drove by a few times and couldn't believe they were still there. Kept making sure they weren't loading our flat screen TV and computer into their car, you know. When I (finally) got back into the house, I quickly checked the closet where our filing cabinets are (we have taken all really important papers to my sister's but there are still a few things in the filing cabinets). Everything looked fine. Then when I was vacuuming ( in anticipation of the other two -- and later three -- showings) I noticed one of the kitchen chairs was pulled out a bit & the tablecloth wasn't the same as when I put it on. So, all weekend I've been hoping they were sitting at our table writing up an offer. Weird, I know, but they better not have been sitting at our table for any other reason! lol.

Beanie is doing great. Loves to dance even more now. Says "dance" and starts dancing around. Just in the last few days she is trying to jump and it is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen. Today she fell off the bed...HARD...and has a huge goose egg on her forehead. I felt like a horrible mama. She was playing with the pillows on the bed. She loves to throw them over the side. Well, she was putting the big body pillow over the side and toppled over with it. I had my back to her and didn't see it, but I know that's what happened. Darn it, I felt horrible for having my back turned at that instant! Bad mommy!! She seems fine though. Once she stopped crying (and me too) she signed that she wanted boob and nursed. As soon as she finished nursing she pointed at her books on the floor, said and signed "book" and we read for a bit. When we got to the Snuggle Puppy book (which also came with a CD) she jumped down from the couch and wanted to dance. So, all in all, she is doing fine, just has a big ol' bump on her head and I feel like the worst mom ever.

I've been feeling an extreme case of mommy guilt lately. I see friends' kids who are the same age and know letters and numbers. Beanie doesn't know too many yet. She knows "A" but just because we have her name hanging up above the change table. We've started working on them more, not really working but you know just playing with letters and stuff. I don't know, are 19month olds supposed to know letters? She'd just rather read, or dance, or bang things around. I know she's having fun, and she is a smart girl. Logically I know she's doing just fine and will learn (and be interested in things) at her own pace, but sometimes its hard not to feel guilty.

Ah, better go. Glenn just got home from work and Beanie is still sleeping. We might actually be able to hold an adult conversation for a bit!