Monday, February 28, 2011

Joining in the March of Kindness

March of Kindness
The other day on Facebook I saw that Dionna at Code Name: Mama was posting about random acts of kindness. She's turned it into an event for the month of March and I am excited to participate. Ever since we passed out the compassion kits over the holidays I've been wanting to incorporate more acts of kindness and giving with Beanie. This will be a great activity for both of us.

The idea is to commit one random act of kindness every day throughout the month of March. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a small act to show kindness and generosity. I'm hoping that Beanie and I can talk about it and that she will come up with some ideas on her own. I'm not going to write a post about every single day, but I will update as the month progresses and recap at the end of March.

Want to join in? Make sure and click through the button and participate in the March of Kindness.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Friendship & Finding Support in Trying Times

Image credit: paris_corrupted on Flickr

If a year ago you would have told me that I'd have the most difficult year of my life, I would've had a few people in mind who I would've said would really be there for me. The list would've been short, for sure, but I'm sad that most of them haven't been there for me.

I'll be the first to admit I've been a crappy friend (wife, sister, daughter, fill in the blank here) this last year. I don't return calls. I cancel plans. I ignore (or just plain forget about) emails. But, the people who keep reaching out to me? You mean more to me than you could know right now.

I don't know why I've had this on my mind so much lately. Over the last year we've made new friends who have offered support and help many times (although, admittedly, I've been pretty shabby about accepting!). I feel like I have people I could count on if (or is it when?) I need help. They all mean so much to me as well.

But it's eating at me, the fact that those few people I thought I could really count on weren't there for me. I'm not talking about coddling me or holding me up. I'm just talking about checking in every so often and saying. "How's it going?" or "Haven't heard from you in a bit." Even a comment on my stupid little Facebook status or my blog. Whatever.

Sure, I'm needy. I take things too personally. That's just me right now.

One thing is for sure. Glenn has been my rock this last year. I honestly don't know if I could've made it through all this junk without him. He's supported me, been there for me, worked way too much and then come home and picked up all the pieces.  He pushed me to finally go see a counselor and sacrificed his time so I could get on the road to wellness.  He's held me as I cried for no reason at all and he's held me as we laugh about happier times.

This last year has been about self-preservation, about just getting through. I apologize if I wasn't the friend (or fill in the blank) I was "supposed" to be. I just couldn't be

I guess, in short, I'm thankful for the support network I do have. But I mourn for the support network I thought I had.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Another Unsuccessful Reintroduction

Image credit: Guillaume Paumier on Flickr
Two weeks ago, I reintroduced dairy into my diet. I was hopeful as our pediatrician said that most infants outgrow their dairy intolerance by age one. I was a bit more excited to reintroduce dairy than I had been with the wheat. I'd been compiling a mental list of the foods I'd really like to have again: pizza, cheesecake, a grilled cheese sandwich, ice cream. I wanted the most bang for the buck, so to speak, if I was only able to eat dairy for a few days.

I was nervous because last time Bubby had blood in his diapers within two days of reintroduction. This time we made it to day six.

I'm bummed that he had to go through that again. I'm hopeful that he will still outgrow it, as the reaction took longer to come about.

So, we're still wheat-, dairy- and soy-free. At this point I think we'll hold off on any more reintroductions for awhile. I feel healthier eating this way and, obviously, so does he. There isn't really any rush and we'll just see how things go from here.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

A Girls Date.

Beanie, sipping on her "latte."

Yesterday, we were trying to figure out what to do with our afternoon. It was a gorgeous day out, but it was a bit too windy for Bubby's tastes and Beanie decided she was too cold while Glenn was pruning the fruit trees. I tossed out the idea of making lattes, or even going out and getting one.

"Oh, like a girl's date Mama!" Beanie exclaimed.

How could I refuse?

I started a pot of coffee for Glenn and he and Bubby had a "boy's date" at home while Beanie and I headed out for lattes.

We chatted in the car. When we got to the counter Beanie said she'd like a "latte please." As we sipped our drinks (hers being a steamed milk, not a latte), she said that she really liked rice vanilla lattes. She told me how it was her favorite coffee shop. She wondered what Bubby and Daddy were doing at home. We had an excellent time. It was just what we both needed.

She insisted on taking my picture too.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Good Day.

"True happiness enjoy the present without anxious dependence on the future."
--Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It's a good day. I can't exactly put my finger on why, but I feel different. It's not just that I'm finally over this ugly flu bug that hit our house. I feel optimistic. It's the first time in a long time.

Maybe I had to hit rock bottom first? I have really been struggling, but somehow this morning I woke up and it was different.

Even though Beanie woke up at 5:45 and snuggled in next to me in bed (luckily Bubby was able to stay asleep until 7:00). Even though Bubby was cranky at the mere thought of being put down for five seconds so I could use the restroom. Even though Bubby gagged and almost threw up on his pancakes. Even though Beanie whacked Bubby in the head with her microphone.

On any other day those things would have made my anxiety creep up and take over. Not today.

Why? I have no idea.

I exercised on Sunday and it felt great. Not only did it feel pretty good physically, but my mood lifted and I had some "me time." I've been taking my vitamins again. My neck and back are feeling better. I'm working through things with my counselor.

Maybe it's just my time?

I'm not sure, but I hope so. This optimism thing is a welcome change.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Sibling Serenade

At lunch today Beanie grabbed the triangle from her Melissa and Doug music kit and sang us all a song. It went like this:

Once upon a time there was a little boy named [Bubby],
I love him so much,
I love to play with him,
I love to give him hugs and kisses,
We like to play, except for when I'm in my room,
he can come to play if he wants to. Or not.
And when he's upset my mommy feeds him.
Well, that is all.

She proceeded to sing songs about Glenn and I as well. What a sweetie.