All I want for Christmas is...

Um, nothing.

Seriously. I can't think of much I want. After talking to Sissy and finding out my dad was upset she didn't have a list of "fun things to shop for" (does he think we're still 6 and go through the Toys R Us catalog circling anything and everything??) I tried really hard to come up with a list that included a few things. I didn't get far. Here's what I asked for...

--A gift card to Motherhood Maternity (because I really want a warm comfy sweater for this winter, but I refuse to pay so much for clothes I'm going to wear for like 3 -- maybe 4 -- months.)

--A gift card to a spa (because since I'm pregnant and my hair grows like ten times faster than usual I have to go get my eyebrows waxed like every 3 weeks and, let me tell you, that gets expensive!)

--A gift card to Starbucks (see previous post...I love espresso & am trying to cut down spending)
--A gift card to the craft store (because I am really determined to get caught up on Beanie's scrapbook before Baby 2.0 arrives. Or atleast not be 2 years behind.)

--An Ergo (that was my stretch for a "thing" to buy. Not that he'll actually be able to go out and buy it probably unless he's hip on baby wearing shops, but you know, he could have fun shopping online)

I'm not sure if something for Baby 2.0 time even qualifies as a Christmas present for me, but it's all I could think of. Oh, and I think I'll email him and ask for an exercise (read, birthing) ball because my hips hurt like a son of a gun and a friend told me that the ball really helped. Somehow when we moved my exercise ball (apparently along with a lot of other stuff I wouldn't have gotten rid of) was thrown out.

I know he doesn't like buying gift cards, but, come on, I'm thirty. Not twelve. I don't want Hello Kitty chapstick (oh wait, that was Sissy *wink wink*). Glenn & I have decided not to buy each other gifts and just get a few things for the house. You know what I want? A new toilet. I mean, talk about exciting, right? Can we at least put a bow on it?

My motto for December.

If you want something to be different tomorrow, then you have to do something different today.

Now, I've seen this quoted in various forms here & there on the internet and I've tried to nail down a source, but I can't. But, no, I didn't come up with that myself.

Here's the thing. Lately there have been a lot of things I'd like to change about my life. Not that I'm necessarily overly unhappy about things, but I know I could be happier and things could be improved. And, let's face it, no one is going to change these things for me while I sit around on my ass watching the world go by.

So, instead of waiting to make New Year's Resolutions (of which I think many, if it's not safe to say most, are broken by January 15th), I'm going to make some changes now.

Or, should I say, as soon as I recover from this horrible god-awful illness that somehow has a serious hold on me.

And, according to Robert Cialdini, if you state something publicly you are much more likely to actually follow through. So, here goes nothing!

Some things I want to improve in my life (in no particular order):

Time spent with Beanie - I've written time and again about my love-hate relationship with the TV. And the internet I should probably add. See, I (we) waste waaaay too much time with the stupid TV or computer. So, I'm really going to try and cut down the time that the TV and computer are on.

Glenn and I were talking about preschool for Beanie. The reality is we probably can't afford any preschool around here and, after talking about it, what are we paying these people for anyways? Glenn and I are pretty decided that learning-type activities are something we will do with Beanie ourselves and forgo formalized preschool. I'm hoping that we can sign Beanie up for another tumbling or dance class or something along those lines. She can get her socialization elsewhere, through classes and through activities with my mom's groups. We can teach her.

I have some links to Montessori blogs in my blog list, and my friend Jill told me about a new one...

Tot School

After being fairly convinced that I'm the type of mom that could never do something like that I've decided to give it a go. After looking more at the website, it's not all about being the perfect crafty mom (and, why are so many homeshooling or learning blogs religious? just a side note), it's more about providing an enriching environment for your kiddo where they can thrive. And, truth be told, no one is thriving at this house right now.

I'm over the mommy guilt and the hohum-ness. I'm ready to change how we do things. Today, even though I still feel like death warmed over, Beanie and I took time to make bird feeders (pipe cleaners with Cheerios on them) and draw pictures for the birdies. See, there were a bunch of birds outside and, for some reason, she likes to tell them "Shoo! Shoo! Go away!" But, after our activity she is pretty excited for them to come back and eat Cheerios.

My marriage - Childless time is hard to come by for Glenn and I. But, I really want to take advantage of the time we do have instead of dorking around playing video games (him) and checking online (me). In about 4 months or so, time alone is going to be even harder to come by so we need to take advantage of what we have now. And try to schedule in some date nights. Sissy? There are lots of areas I can work on to improve my marriage and I'm going to start really giving it an effort. Today.

Finances - I talk big about different ways we can save money, but the fact of the matter is we need to do it. And need to do it now. It's a new month and I'm committed to keeping track of our spending and really seeing where we can cutback. I really would like to be able to quit work when Baby 2.0 arrives (seriously, I could probably write a whole post just about my anxieties about that), but right now I don't know if that would even be an option. We need to make espresso at home with our fancy pants machine. We need to plan dinners and grocery shopping and not go out to eat all the time. Changes are possible and I really want to see where we're at when we're conscious of our spending for more than a week or two.

Housework - I really want to establish a routine for having the house tidy and cleaned up all the time. I mean, I know there are going to be messes (hello...I have a 2 1/2 year old who, when I asked her what she was doing in her playroom the other day, said "I make a big messy!!"), but I really want a clean house. I was so much happier when we had the condo for sale and it was spotless all the time. Now, I know I don't need to strive for that kind of perfection, but I do want a clean house. I'm happier that way. So is Glenn.

Health - I really want to exercise and eat better. I want Beanie to eat better. Glenn has really been trying to focus on exercising and eating healthy the last week or so, and I want to also. Next week I have my gestational diabetes test and, while I hope to avoid and official diagnosis of GD, I would like to eat a healthier, higher protein lower carb diet throughout my pregnancy. I want us all to eat more veggies.

So, yea, that's all I can really think of for now. It sounds like a lot, but, really, just small changes in our day can help me accomplish all of these things. I figure I have about 4 months to establish a new normal before our whole world gets turned upside down again (in a good way) so I really want to make an effort now.

And now the blog-o-sphere knows about my plans too so try and hold me somewhat accountable, okay?

93%

Hey, that's a pretty good percentage for NaBloWriMo, right?

I'm excited to say I only missed 2 days of blogging this past month. I set out to do something and I (almost) did it. Way better than my previous attempts at the same challenge.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my somewhat boring life. I think I attracted some new readers & hope that my loyal (you know, the like 6 of you) readers enjoyed my increased blogging. I know I found some new blogs that I just love to read now & for that I am grateful. Always fun to find new blogs to read :)

Beanie is being such a sweetheart today. I've been coughing so hard that my eyes tear up. Silly kiddo brings me a tissue and wipes my eyes each time. Gosh, I love her.

I slept a little better last night and, I'm happy to say, Beanie did too. She woke up once calling for me and I went in the room and laid down with her for a little bit. Poor kid, each time I coughed as she was falling asleep she said "Mama, you scared me!" So, luckily (for both of us) she fell back asleep pretty quickly and I went back into the bedroom where I could keep Glenn up (but hopefully not scare him) with my coughing.

I woke up around 7 and saw there was a light on. I thought it was the light from down the hall (because often Glenn leaves a light on while he's trying to balance coffee, breakfast, lunch, and car keys as he goes out the front door at 2am) and turned back over to sleep a little more. It was then I realized that the light was coming from across the hall in Beanie's room. Silly girl had woken up and turned on the light and was just walking around her room. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I don't know," so I don't really know either. I don't think she'd been up that long though. I told her that when she woke up she could come and get Mommy out of Mommy's room because that's what big girls do (well, really big girls could make a bowl of cereal and play a little while Mommy slept in, but I don't think we're at that stage yet LOL).

So, another good night!

I still feel pretty crappy and hope that this sickness passes soon. I don't like this coughing, I'm scaring Beanie, keeping Glenn awake at night and I'm sure Baby 2.0 isn't too jazzed about being jostled around all day either.

Still sick.

So, no surprise, but I don't really feel like blogging tonight. But, I do want to finish off NaBloWriMo with only two misses so this'll be short and sweet.

I didn't sleep last night. At all. Apparently Sudafed & Robitussin have nothing on this cold. I did, however, sleep off and on most of the day. I got up a couple times to eat, but mostly slept until about 2:oo this afternoon.

And I've really, really wanted some Gatorade. See, I'm drinking about half as much fluid as I usually do and I can tell that isn't helping anything. So, when Glenn and Beanie headed out to the store to pick up some dinner stuff I asked him to get some Gatorade too.

He forgot. And I bawled my eyes out for like twenty minutes. And then he went to the store (again) to get me some Gatorade. I love my hubby.

Feeling a little better this evening, but I'm not holding out much hope for sleep tonight. Seems like as soon as I lay down on the bed I am congested as all get out and unable to rest for anything. We'll see though.

On the upside, one of us did get sleep last night. I put Beanie down for bed just after 8 last night and snuck out of her room around 8:30. She slept in her bed by herself without waking and calling for mommy until 6:45 this morning. And, I will admit that at about 6:15 I poked around in her bedroom to make sure she was really sleeping and not, I don't know, suffering or something. Gosh, I'm hoping this is a small victory on our way to independent sleep. We'll see how it goes tonight. Lord knows it's a good thing she slept by herself last night because no one was getting any sleep with me!

I'm sick.

Waaaah,

Like the kind of sick where you can't sleep because you can't breathe AT ALL. And my throat is on fire. And water tastes disgusting. I'm not hungry. I could sleep for at least 23 of the 24 hours of the day.

Oh, and remember I'm pregnant?

Yea, this sucks.

I broke down and took some Sudafed before I laid down with Beanie for her nap. I was out. Until I started coughing and woke up actually feeling hungry.

Chicken noodle soup it is. Oh, and pumpkin pie with Cool Whip. You know, for the baby.

I think it'll be Sudafed and Robitussin before bed. I hate taking meds when I'm pregnant, not because I think they're going to harm the baby but, I don't know, just because. I don't really have a good reason. I don't usually take too many cold medications, so why buck the trend while pregnant?

So, waaah. I hope I feel better tomorrow!

And so it begins.

The next four months of telling my mother-in-law "NO!!!"

Apparently yesterday during the Thanksgiving courtesy call the as-of-yet-planned spring visit by my inlaws was discussed with Glenn. You see, they're planning on doing the two-for-one trip next spring and seeing Baby 2.0 and my brother-in-law's new daughter as well. I've said it before, but I'm much more in favor of the one-for-one trip which would include a trip up here next month to visit the new granddaughter and no springtime trip to visit Baby 2.0.

Well, apparently yesterday mother-in-law asked Glenn is there was somewhere they could stay here. And, if you're thinking "Yea, a Best Western" you're on the same wavelength as I am. But, you see, by "here" she meant here, as in in our home. To which Glenn replied that there was if she could get Beanie to share her bed. Mother-in-law laughed and said, "Well, is there?" You see, my mother-in-law isn't the best at taking hints. I can think of about a bazillion-and-one reasons my inlaws shouldn't (and I should add couldn't and WON'T) be staying here, but first and foremost is the fact that my mother-in-law drives me bat shit crazy.

I love ya, Glenn's mama, but I love you even more now that you're living all the way across the country.

You see, my mother-in-law has no concept whatsoever of personal space. Like ever. Like even when she's staying at a hotel across town. Like somehow she manages to invade my personal space living all the way across the country. I cannot imagine what it would be like it she were staying here. I think it would entail Beanie, Baby 2.0 and I going to a hotel.

And a huge hurdle is the fact that we don't have a spare bedroom. Or, as Glenn so kindly pointed out we do. But it's called the playroom and is full of toys! And no bed. So, I think I win. It's not a bedroom and isn't functional as one at all.

And the fact of the matter is I don't want anyone coming to town until a month or so after Baby 2.0's due date. By that time I am hoping that we'll sort of be settled into life as a family of four and that Beanie will be (somewhat) adjusted to having her baby brother in the house all day every day. And I don't really want to mess up with my hopefully somewhat harmonious routine by having people stay with us. Especially my personal space invading mother-in-law.

Plus, let's not forget that I'm a pretty hormonal chick. Add in being pregnant or post-partum and I'm kinda (admittedly) nutballs sometimes. Add in trying to have my daughter adjust to being a big sister and having to share mommy and daddy and I'm pretty sure the first few months are going to be relatively difficult. And I'm pretty much a stress case around any and all family so I'd just rather not add that into my already super hormonal equation.

So, the answer is no. Glenn and I have always agreed on this. No one stays with us. My sister-in-law did for a couple days over the summer and, while it went relatively well, it only cemented the fact in my mind that I HATE sharing my space.

But, the problem is, Glenn feels like he's going to piss someone off either way. I told him I am more than happy to be the "bad guy" and let his mom know that there isn't a chance they are staying with us. Okay, I'd do it with a little more tact, but you get the picture. It isn't happening.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I'm trying not to stress about whether or not the house is spotless and dinner is perfect...I'm trying to remember to be thankful that I have a healthy, happy family & a baby boy on the way. It's the important things that matter, right?

And, my mom isn't coming over for dinner so if there's a little dust bunny in the corner I'm sure no one will say anything.

What are you thankful for?