Saturday, August 30, 2008

The other side of the coin

I'm not usually a "glass half empty" type person. I try to be optimistic, although I'm sure some of my mom's always-negative-about-everything attitude has rubbed off on me. I don't know what it is with the house (and its potential sale) that makes me look at everything on the negative. For instance, over lunch hubby and I discussed whether or not we should have the realtor come out before we go on our trip. I explained my reasoning for not having him come before (detailed in my previous blog post). After listening to me, he played devil's advocate and explained some very good reasoning to have the realtor come out earlier. He asked why I always imagined only the negative. Who knows? Maybe the realtor will come up and say we can list our house for higher than we anticipate. That would make for a good vacation, right? We don't need to sell our house right away, we aren't moving for work, we can afford our current mortgage. There is no imminent reason to move right away. Sure, it would be nice to sell the house quickly; we are both looking forward to a larger home with a yard...more room for Beanie and a potential #2 in the future. But we don't HAVE to get out. So, yea, maybe we will have him come out beforehand. Who knows, we could be happily surprised and, if disappointed, we have a whole week away to get a game plan in our heads. And we'll be with my stepdad, who is nothing short of a real estate expert and might have some good advice for us!

That's all, my glass is now half full :)

The end is in sight.

Hubby finished laying the wood laminate flooring in the master bedroom yesterday. It looks fabulous! Our ten year old white (read...gray) carpet is gone!! Ugh, seriously that carpet was so disgusting. We replaced the carpet in Beanie's room and the living room last year, but just did the master now. While I will be more than excited if we are able to sell the condo quickly (especially in the current housing market), it kind of sucks that all this work has been done and someone else is going to get to enjoy it. On the other hand, with a toddler I do think it is best to fix up and move out because undoubtedly things will not stay nice and shiny for long.

The fact that we are almost done brings a whole new slew of worries to my mind. Will we be able to list for a high enough price to enable us to buy a new, bigger house? Can we even afford a house around here? We can't where we currently live and are looking to move about twenty minutes north, where it is still too darn expensive but at least somewhat doable. Will the house sell quickly, or will we be working to keep it immaculate and ready to show for months on end? After all the stress of remodeling for the last nine months, now we will have the stress of having the house for sale.

The biggest question will come be answered when the realtor comes out and tells us what we can list the place for. The answer to that determines whether all the other questions will be moot anyways. At first I was thinking of having him come out before we went on our trip (if we were done by then like we're hoping), but now I think it may be better to wait until we get back. What if the number he gives is much lower than we are anticipating? Wouldn't it be better not to know that before we try to get away for a week and enjoy ourselves? I know that I, for one, would have it on my mind the whole trip if that were the case.

Well, since I've been talking so much about the house, how about a few pics?

The kitchen (before and after)


The master bathroom (before and after)


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thursday Ramblings...


It is funny how people can disappoint you. I write this mostly because it seems to be eating at my hubby, and a little bit at me as well. If you don't know, our other big project (besides parenting a toddler) is remodeling our condo. Hubby has been working at it for months. I try to help, but mostly feel worthless at any of this remodeling stuff as Beanie, as soon as I seem to get started with something, decides that it is Mommy (and no one else) that she wants. I've been trying harder at keeping up with the daily grind, and have been proud of myself somedays & thinking of how much more I could do on others. The disappointment sets in as I think of the help we have gotten. I know it isn't that people have to help us, but it would be nice. When they have needed us we have been there for them. We are busy too, but we make an effort and, in case of an emergency, drop everything to be there. We don't help with the expectation of reciprocation, but when its family it does kind of sting, especially to hubby. I guess you find out who really are your friends are. The people who have helped us are busy as well. I know everyone is busy, but when it comes to family and friends you take the time to help them out when its really needed. Even if its only for an hour, crap even if its only for 20 minutes! Hubby has been working his arse off since March, and all of this on top of working a fulltime job and taking care of me & Beanie. He is an awesome hubby, dad, and person.



Ugh! I thought teething was bad, but molars make it horrible! Beanie is so miserable, and I am too. I'm ready for the darn things to cut through, that's for sure. Speaking of, she is incredibly cranky all of the sudden (getting close to nap time?) so I'll have to cut this blog short....

Monday, August 11, 2008


"No, she doesn't sleep through the night."

"Yes, we are still breastfeeding."

"She sleeps in bed with me."

"No, she can't have potato chips (or creme brulee, pizza, etc etc)."

A really long road trip

Yesterday we headed over the mountains to visit my dad, my grandparents and all my aunts and uncles. We originally weren't going to head over because hubby had to work early this morning and it would make for a long day for him. Well, it became even longer than expected.

We headed up to my sister's and dropped off some boxes in her storage unit & picked her up. We ended up stopping after a ways to get some coffee & lunch. After we got back into the car after coffee, Beanie decided she was not a happy camper and was screaming and crying in the car. It was mostly precipitated by her biting my sister's finger (and man does she have some chompers) and my sis saying "Ow!" pretty loud and not being too happy. After a short while, it was decided that Beanie might be a bit hungry so we stopped at a little park and ride by the train tracks and I nursed her. Tried to get her back into her carseat. Meltdown. So, we went outside and played with some flowers (okay, weeds...they were dandelions lol) before getting back into the car again. After some fussing she managed to fall asleep in the car after me whispering "Dada nigh-nigh, Mama nigh-nigh, kitty nigh-nigh, baby nigh-nigh" about a million times.

The actual event was fun. Beanie had a lot of fun chasing around my 2year old cousin and loved my step-sister's little puppy. I got to see family I haven't seen in quite a long time and I probably won't see them again for a very long time. I met two of my cousins I have never met before.

We wanted to leave by 5 at the latest and did pretty good, leaving at about 5:15. The drive that should've taken about 1 1/2 hours took 3 1/2. Weekend traffic caused the two-lane highway to be at a standstill. It was horrible. Beanie was SO upset, crying to the point of hyperventilating and gagging herself. Hubby sat in the back with her as he was hoping to catch some shut eye on the way home but no such luck. She wasn't having any of it. We stopped at my sister's to drop her off, I nursed Beanie, and hubby and I ate some popsicles. We got Beanie back into the car and she cried and fussed the whole 25min trip back to our house. She was happy as a clam as soon as we got home and took her out of her carseat. We brushed our teeth, I nursed her again, and she fell asleep. She slept for 7 hours, but far the longest stretch in quite some time. But, it having to go through that long drive didn't really make it worth it. Poor kiddo. And poor hubby too....he probably only got about 4 or 5 hours of sleep before he had to get up for work today.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Pass the granola...

So I am sitting here wondering when exactly did I become what others might refer to as "crunchy?" I guess it was a transformation that took place over time. I was going through the closet packing things up and I came across a lazy suzan-type thing for baby food jars. Obviously I didn't plan on making all my own babyfood when buying that item. I came across a post that I made on an online message board last September where I stated that "I just don't see myself breastfeeding beyond one year" and here we are at 13 1/2months and breastfeeding just as much as ever. I just posted again the other day that I don't see myself nursing beyond 2 years (and right now I really don't) but what will change by that time? I never planned on cosleeping and we have most every night since she was born. I have recently delayed some vaccinations and will probably delay more if/when we have #2. I feel strongly about natural childbirth, and while I respect every mother's right to make her own decision I wish I wouldn't get the "wow! you go girl" reaction or the feeling that people close up about their birth stories when encountered with mine. Yes, it has happened. More than once. I've been pondering buying an amber teething necklace for Beanie & thought about cloth diapering. So, when did this big transformation to crunchiness take place?

Apparently my transformation was complete when I went shopping for purses yesterday. DH described both of the ones I picked out as "hippie purses." lol. I didn't get either one, not because of his comment, but because I am waiting for my sister to get a sample purse for me from Nordstrom. I need something bigger, hopefully something that can fit my and Beanie's stuff in it comfortably. My current purse just isn't cutting it at all anymore. Anyways, here are pics of my "hippie purses."


Our guest bathroom will be remodeled today. Finally, it will be done! We ended up having to hire someone to do the tub but I think it will be worth it because it will be completed today and Hubby can work on other projects. The light at the end of the tunnel is near. And good thing because we found the most amazing house for sale!!! Crossing my fingers it stays on the market a little while, but I don't really is an amazing house and a great price too.


I woke up to the drabbest weather today. It is yucky! I am glad its cooler, but I could really do without the rain. Beanie and I went to the park last night, which we haven't done for awhile. It was fun. I am hoping it clears up so we can go again this afternoon or evening.


My next week is so full of activities. Somethings got to give and I just have to figure out what. We are visiting my dad tomorrow, my mom's group has cool meetups every day this week, and my friend's baby shower is on Saturday. She already had her little guy (12 weeks early) and it will be good to see her at her shower. I guess perhaps a few of my meetups are going to have to go by the wayside. We will see.

Friday, August 8, 2008

White noise is my new best friend

Earlier this week, I placed a fan in Beanie's room. It has helped so much at night. She had been waking up when hubby was up getting ready for work, around 2:30 or 3am. She had been staying awake upwards of 2hours sometimes. Not good for mommies or babies. Upon the recommendation of some of my online friends, we tried using the fan for some white noise. It has worked very well! She is not waking up when hubby is getting ready at all. On the other hand, she has been waking up here and there all night and snacking on boob. Just a little and then back to sleep. She has been getting up so early though, somewhere between five and six the last few mornings. Ugh! Wish I could sleep in a little later, but I guess I'll take getting up earlier over being up for 2hours in the middle of the night!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Another post on cosleeping

The other night hubby, who was on his night off and quite sleepy, was yelling that "she is 13 months old and won't even sleep in her goddamn room." Then he stomped off and went to bed while I was rocking Beanie back to sleep. I almost cried & couldn't sleep for nearly an hour because his words cut me like a knife. Not that they are inaccurate, but it was his tone of voice. Well, in fact, they are inaccurate...she will sleep in her room, with me.

I sat there thinking about how I have only done my best and what I think is right with Beanie. I have tried my hardest to be a good mom, and that includes cosleeping. I think part of the problem stems from the fact that in our pre-baby days we discussed cosleeping as something we did not want to do. Then, there I was, a new mom alone with Beanie every night. One night I brought her to bed with me to nurse and we fell asleep together. Wala! Both of us could get a lot more sleep this way. I asked hubby if he minded, since it was something we had discussed not doing before, and he said "no." It wasn't something I intended to do, or planned on being as long lasting, but Beanie and I both sleep better together. And, 5 (usually 6) nights of the week Hubby has to get up in the middle of the night for work so its not like we're really sleeping together (just sleeping, lol) anyways.

Somehow when I brought Beanie home and watched her sleep that first night something changed. It was magical. Granted, those first few nights there wasn't much sleeping going on for anyone, but you know. It clicked, I was here to take care of this little person and make sure they were safe and happy. If cosleeping makes her feel safe and happy (and me too) then that is what works for us right now. I don't feel safe putting her in her bedroom by herself at night, as it is not very close to the master bedroom. She still wakes to nurse a couple times a night and it is easier to be in the room with her. I sleep better. She sleeps better. And, save us independently minded American folks, I think it is pretty common worldwide.

When hubby criticizes or gets mad about the sleeping arrangements, I automatically get defensive. Defensive because not once in over 13 months has he put her down for bed. Granted, he works six nights a week but there is still that one night there. When he says "I've got one night a week where I can sleep in..." it immediately causes me to put my guard up. I never get to sleep in. I wake when Beanie wakes. He gets frustrated because she gets cranky when he is with her when she's tired. Well, good reason, its because she is used to, and only knows, me putting her to bed, not him. There is only one way to rectify that situation in my mind...hubby puts her to bed more often. She doesn't always nurse to sleep and can definitely go to sleep without actually suckling to sleep. It would be possible, albeit a little difficult perhaps, for him to put her to sleep. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

All said, he is my husband and we need to be a team. If he really honestly wants her in her own bed now, then I will take steps towards that goal. I think his main reason for wanting her in her own bed is that he thinks she will sleep with us forever which I just don't think is the case. But, for the sake of everyone's happiness, I guess I need to take baby steps with the Beans to have her be an independent sleeper.