"True happiness is...to enjoy the present without anxious dependence on the future."
--Lucius Annaeus Seneca
It's a good day. I can't exactly put my finger on why, but I feel different. It's not just that I'm finally over this ugly flu bug that hit our house. I feel optimistic. It's the first time in a long time.
Maybe I had to hit rock bottom first? I have really been struggling, but somehow this morning I woke up and it was different.
Even though Beanie woke up at 5:45 and snuggled in next to me in bed (luckily Bubby was able to stay asleep until 7:00). Even though Bubby was cranky at the mere thought of being put down for five seconds so I could use the restroom. Even though Bubby gagged and almost threw up on his pancakes. Even though Beanie whacked Bubby in the head with her microphone.
On any other day those things would have made my anxiety creep up and take over. Not today.
Why? I have no idea.
I exercised on Sunday and it felt great. Not only did it feel pretty good physically, but my mood lifted and I had some "me time." I've been taking my vitamins again. My neck and back are feeling better. I'm working through things with my counselor.
Maybe it's just my time?
I'm not sure, but I hope so. This optimism thing is a welcome change.