Finding my Voice.

Ooh, my first post of 2012.

A clean slate.

A fresh start.

Something earth shattering or post-worthy or...

....just a post.

Just some randomness.

Just something to get me back in to writing.

Yes. That's all.

Today was a good start to the year. I got a lot accomplished. I vacuumed and dusted the master bedroom which may not sound like a lot unless you've seen my master bedroom in the recent past. We worked through the daily chores for the most part (and I'll post up my little spreadsheet later because a few people have expressed interest in seeing it). We had breakfast for dinner and I made extra waffles to freeze (used olive oil in my recipe because we're trying to get away from using canola oil and I think the taste was too strong -- I'd love to use coconut oil, but it's so expensive! Maybe half and half next time??) It was a gorgeous day and we played baseball outside a bit with the kids. I had wanted to go for a short walk with the kiddos, but Beanie has been chomping at the bit to play baseball since we cleaned out the last bit of stuff from storage at my sister's (including, of course, a bat, ball and mitt my dad had gotten for Beanie ages ago).

I started reading Freedom Through Frugality and I'm enjoying it. We've had to be pretty darn frugal by necessity, but the book does have some good ideas. We're already using many of them, but one we'll definitely be putting into practice this year is having a vegetable garden and canning/preserving. I don't know much about gardening, but I'm eager to learn and I received an organic gardening book that I'm itching to read through. I have a laundry list of things I'd like to plant -- carrots, squash, broccoli, peas, spinach, tomatoes, peppers, berries, and more -- but I want to start with some easy planting since I sort of have a brown thumb. Or, at least I did in the past. I really enjoyed cleaning out the garden space and I'm looking forward to having my own garden and taking care of it, so maybe that will help.

The four-year old is quiet (and hopefully finally asleep) and everyone else is already snoozing, so I'm off to read and wind down for bed. I'd like to add some fiction to my before-bed reading...any recommendations?

Is it really the end of 2011?

It's been pretty quiet here. Last year I resolved to add myself to the list of people I took care of. I think I did pretty well with that. I know that I am doing so much better than I was last year at this time. I'm sure weekly therapy sessions for the last 13 months and (later) Zoloft have helped with that. The PPD/PPA has lessened and while I deal with my normal propensity toward anxiety, things are much improved. I feel like I can handle what comes my way.

If last year was about taking care of me, then this year will be about focusing on my marriage and my family. Now that I'm feeling whole again I can work on those other things.

Earlier today I read a friend's status on Facebook and it said that her focus in 2012 was going to be on balance and simplicity. I couldn't have said it better. I also hope to strive toward a more balanced and simple life. I just finished reading Simplicity Parenting and I think it provided some great food for thought. We aren't really over-the-top with our toys or activities, but there are some areas in which I know we could simplify and make things better. First, my cluttered house; both Glenn and I felt better when we had the condo for sale and everything was neat and tidy, and I'd like to get to that place in this house too. I'd like to cut back on being tethered to my phone, Facebook, and (my new love) Pinterest. I have this divine plan of divvying up the household chores into daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. I have a spreadsheet set up and I really think it will make things more manageable for me, especially because I become overwhelmed at the sheer amount of things I feel must get done.

Things have been going well, really well, the last few months. Maybe my quiet made people assume otherwise, but I've just been focusing on what's really important to me. I've been working on getting to the place I want to be in life. I haven't really felt like blogging about it. I've thought of writing in a journal (how old school lol), but haven't really done that either.

I'll wrap up with a list of things I'm looking forward to in 2012:

• Monthly (at least) dates with the hubby (thanks sis for the babysitting coupons for Christmas)
• Planning and starting our backyard garden
• Canning and preserving with my new pressure canner
• Trying out more vegetarian and vegan meals
• Having an organized home
• My work days at Beanie's preschool (since we signed up late I haven't actually had a work day yet)
• Starting some sort of regular exercise again -- I'm thinking yoga and Hubby got me a Kinect and some games for Christmas
• Going more green. As part of our very frugal holidays we made body scrubs for family members. I want to explore making more body care items. I've been using homemade cleaner for a bit here and I LOVE IT.

All right. I think that's it for now. Onward and upward.

Have a safe & happy New Year's Eve.

Books & Jeans.

Yesterday I was lamenting about how Beanie only has one pair of jeans that fit. How we made an Amazon wish list for the kids for Christmas and how everyone bought books. How I had asked for some jeans and clothes for her too. How I couldn't wait until our shipment from Osh Kosh showed up so she would have another pair of jeans.

My hubby replied that he was pretty sure no one ever grew up and worried about how they only had one pair of jeans that fit when they were four-and-a-half, but how people grew up (and grew intellectually) because they had many books to read.

Leave it to the hubby to keep things in perspective.

I love my husband.

That is all.

(And, don't get me wrong, I am super thankful that Beanie will be getting lots of books for Christmas. Really, that is what we wanted for her. I was just being emotional and am trying to re-tell the story. Don't want to sound like a thankless grinch ;))

Birth Thoughts (and please help support midwifery care).

I've been thinking a lot about pregnancy and birth lately.

Bubby's birth.

I don't know if it's because he is nearing two-years old and it's becoming more apparent every.single.day. that he is more of a toddler and less of a baby.

I don't know if it's because we've decided our family is complete.

I don't know if it's because I still haven't had a post-partum period and I'm all hormonal.

I don't know if it's because the midwifery practice that we transferred care to has been pretty effectively disbanded and now there is no longer real midwifery care at the hospital we delivered at.

I do know one thing. That is that if we hadn't transferred care to the midwifery practice we most certainly would not have had the birth experience we did. My midwife was caring and supportive, she encouraged me, and gave us what we needed -- just a little more time. Not to be watched on a clock. I wish I could have been less anxious during my early labor with Bubby; I wish I could have trusted that my body was doing what it needed to and that the timing was perfect, not something to worry about. Our midwife assured us of that and every went well.

This petition at change.org calls for the establishment of a true midwifery practice at the hospital. Please consider signing. It doesn't matter whether you birth with an OB in a hospital or a midwife at home, in a birth center, or in a hospital; the point is that every mother should have a choice.

Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free Thanksgiving.

We did it AGAIN. Another year with a delicious gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free Thanksgiving dinner.

The spread.

Turkey.

Egg stuffing.

Marshmallow mashed sweet potatoes.

Mashed potatoes (made with coconut milk)

Gluten-free stuffing.

Pumpkin pie with vegan, soy-free whipped cream.

Thanksgiving Prep.

This will be our second gluten-free, dairy-free, wheat-free Thanksgiving. I LOVE Thanksgiving, but we just weren't feeling like cooking this year. I also didn't feel like going over the mountains to my dads, nor did I trust my mother-in-law to actually cook according to our dietary restrictions (to her credit, I don't really trust anyone to cook to our dietary restrictions). I have two relatives with Celiac's and other family members who sort of haphazardly eliminate things from their diet and don't meticulously read labels (like my dad who served gluten free spaghetti and regular ol' bakery bread the last time we were over). Of course, that's their choice; they're adults and can cheat (or not cheat) as much as their little heart desires. Since Bubby can't choose for himself, I choose for him. And we don't cheat.

Anyway, we went from planning no Thanksgiving to having two Thanksgivings! Our small Wednesday dinner with my sister turned in to a dinner for eight. Then Thursday we'll go to my brother-in-laws. I feel somewhat safe eating the food there, but I'll probably bring food for Bubby and I just to be sure. My mother-in-law took great offense to this it seems, but, really, we were just trying to make things easier for them and reduce stress (and the chance of being up all night with a screaming almost two-year old) for me.

I'm going to make a pumpkin pie this afternoon (just as soon as I finish my coffee) and prep the stuffing later tonight. Glenn is in charge of the turkey tomorrow. We'll also have egg stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, vegetables, cranberry orange sauce, and some other dessert. Oh, and Stovetop. For some reason, my dear husband has a penchant for Stovetop stuffing so there goes our almost completely homemade Thanksgiving. I don't really care, although I do love giving him a hard time about it. I'm sure there's something else I'm forgetting.

I'll try to snap some pictures and post some recipes later.

But, don't hold your breath because seeing how my last post was on Halloween I'm not promising to get them up anytime in the next 24 - 36 hours ;)

Menu Plan Monday: Halloween

I've promised myself I won't get swept up in Menu Plan Mondays, Wordless Wednesdays and the like. But I am really excited about our menu plan this week and I actually have links to almost all the meals so I thought it'd be a great week to share.

All meals are wheat-free (and mostly gluten-free), dairy-free, and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Black bean quinoa burgers on Udi's bread with spinach, tomato and avocado.

Sunday: La Bamba Casserole (no cheese or corn) with blue corn chips
Monday: Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings (going to make biscuits on the side instead of dumplings bc both Glenn & Beanie prefer it that way)
(Meatless) Tuesday: (moved bc of Halloween) Black Bean Quinoa burgers (my friend who gave me this recipe said, and I agree, that the water to be added to the mixture must be a typo -- use about 3/4 of a cup)
Wednesday: Meatloaf Muffins from Cook It Allergy Free, with mashed potatoes and spinach salad
Thursday: Potato Omelet (from my Cooking Light cookbook, but I can't find a link online -- I'll keep looking!)
Friday: Mac and Beef (one of my mother-in-law's recipes that Glenn wants to try. We're using Ancient Harvest quinoa macaroni)
Saturday: Tostadas

I'm also planning on making some more pumpkin muffins (this is the same recipe I adapted earlier -- make sure you look around her blog, she has awesome ideas for bento boxes and more). Hopefully they'll last more than 24hours this time around ;)

Happy eating!

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie, so click over to check out more menu-planning ideas.

The Itch.

I keep getting the itch to blog again. I've been horribly absent. I'd apologize, but I'm not too sorry actually. I've been focusing on my family and getting our lives balanced and in order. Glenn has had more late shifts ("late" for him being normal for everyone else) so we've had time together. I've been reading and trying to restore some semblance of order to this catastrophe of a house. I'm feeling better though. I don't feel like my depression or anxiety rules me every day, so that's good. I feel like I am thinking more clearly, able to communicate better, and able to connect with Glenn and the kids. The only downside is this is all happening at the dark time of year and I am struggling with that a bit. I've upped my Vit D and I do think that helps. I should exercise, but that hasn't happened yet. We signed Beanie up for preschool. She loves it and I am so positive it was the best decision for our family. It was a hard decision since we'd committed to the co-op with our friends, but, once Grandpa offered to pay for preschool, it was really the only decision we could make. We are all so happy with it -- Beanie looks forward to it every day, it allows Glenn and I some time together, Bubby can play without being told what to do, hit, kicked, or pushed. Yeah, it has been good for everyone. We've been menu-planning, couponing, baking, and raking leaves (lots of leaves). I've been using the TV as a crutch again and I'd like to get away from that. We've been smoothie-making fiends. Bubby hadn't gained any weight between 15 and 18months so we're on the "get good food in the kid" diet. Smoothies consist of almond milk yogurt, coconut or almond milk, coconut oil, avocado, flax seed, fruit, and spinach. We all like them.

I keep struggling with what I unreasonably think blogging should be and what I need it to be for it to be sustainable. I love writing. I think blogging through the changes that are going on right now could be a good thing. And since I haven't really learned my lesson I keep toying with the idea of signing up for NaBloPoMo for November. The theme is "Blogging for Blogging's Sake." Somehow I think for me to really blog for blogging's sake I need to not commit to doing it every day. We'll see.

I'm completely inspired to minimize and organize our stuff. Glenn and and I are both so much happier in an organized and uncluttered environment, but achieving that ideal has been hard for us. I know it would be helpful for Beanie, too. Anyone do Flylady? I'm thinking of trying that.

What else? I have lots on my mind, but I'll leave my blog ramble at this for today....

Sunday Surf: 09/18

Well, obviously it was a big fat fail at the blogging every day this month thing. Oh well. I'm not really worried about it as it's been a pretty crazy week here and, well, life got in the way of blogging.

• You're Stupid Mommy! Go Away! You're Yucky! Ah, yes, we've been going through a "You're a bad mommy," stage here so this article was quite helpful.
• Waking Up Full of Awesome I'm trying hard to remember I'm full of awesome, are you?
• Do inspiring blogs make you feel bad about yourself? I'm glad a friend shared this in her Sunday Surf today. I remember chatting in the #ppdchat about how some of us felt the need to step away from reading blogs for awhile. Reminder: No one is perfect. Not you. Not me. Not that blogger who does awesome crafts with their children every day of the week as has home-cooked, baked-from-scratch meals three times a day. Don't forget it.

Happy Surfing!

Menu Plan Monday 09/12

Now that we're back from vacation, I'm reading to get settled back in to our routine, including weekly menu planning. We really have been able to save a lot of money while still being able to eat organic (we mostly only buy organic for the dirty dozen and milk, although we add to our organic purchases as we are able to). Most of our food purchases are whole, fresh foods -- it's nice to see the grocery list coming together and the produce section overtaking everything else on the page. In recent months we've been eating out more than we'd like, but we really need to reign that in, too (and more than we'd like amounts to about two - four times a month). It's not as healthy for us and a real budget buster so we'd like to save any dining out for our date nights.

Without further ado, here is our plan for this week. All meals are gluten-free and dairy-free. Most are also soy-free.


(Meatless) Monday: Yam and Black Bean Burritos
Tuesday: Chicken Cacciatore (trying out my mother-in-law's recipe for the first time; I'll let you know how it goes!)
Wednesday: BBQ Pork Tenderloin with spinach salad w/ dried cranberries & almonds
Thursday: Rice and Beans
Friday: BBQ Flank Steak with quinoa salad (going to make quinoa with black beans and salsa -- super easy and yummy)
Saturday: Gluten-free pancakes (we've been using GF Bisquik because Glenn likes it the best, but I want to try out making some from scratch), eggs, and sausage
Sunday: Turkey burgers in a lettuce "bun" with spinach salad w/dried cranberries and almonds

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie so click on over for more menu ideas.