Monday, January 19, 2009

No, I'm not lost forever...

...just having an incredibly hard time finding the where-with-all to blog with this silly desktop in the master bedroom. Its sort of hard to get anything worthwhile written out with a 19month old crawling over your lap, trying to help you type, figuring out how to insert (and scratch) CDs in the drive, and (sometimes) pushing the power button off right when I'm in the middle of something.

So, yea, its been difficult. I haven't been keeping up on my message boards (miss you July mommas), haven't had the chance to thoroughly read all the blogs I love to read, and (worst of all) can't waste umpteen hours away doing mindless activities on the computer each evening. For some reason I've been overly tired and going to bed pretty darn early so at least I'm not wasting my brain away watching Rock of Love 3. Anyone?? Do those girls just get trashier every season? Sorry, I just can't stomach it anymore.

A lot has happened since I have blogged last. Glenn heard his job was saved, then received a layoff notice with one week left to work, scrambled around looking for a job only to find out last minute that he had a temporary "stay of execution" (his words) and has a job for the next 4-6 months. He has a new route and it does about double in sales what his old route did. Nice for the paycheck, not so nice that he's working 12 hour days, watching Beanie on his days off and (seemingly to me) super cranky and stressed. Luckily I have Wednesday off and I'm hoping he can get out for some hiking and photography. He, obviously, needs a break. He says he's not worried about it, but I am worried he is going to be overworked and get ill or something. Since its just a temporary spot I can't really quit my job yet, although I am hoping to cut back and maybe only work one day a week.

The house is back on the market. We dropped the price $15k and are hoping that will help result in an offer. We had a lot of traffic this weekend, four showings on Saturday!!! The first people were here for an hour (the realtor for 1 1/2 hours). Who knows what's up with that. I drove by a few times and couldn't believe they were still there. Kept making sure they weren't loading our flat screen TV and computer into their car, you know. When I (finally) got back into the house, I quickly checked the closet where our filing cabinets are (we have taken all really important papers to my sister's but there are still a few things in the filing cabinets). Everything looked fine. Then when I was vacuuming ( in anticipation of the other two -- and later three -- showings) I noticed one of the kitchen chairs was pulled out a bit & the tablecloth wasn't the same as when I put it on. So, all weekend I've been hoping they were sitting at our table writing up an offer. Weird, I know, but they better not have been sitting at our table for any other reason! lol.

Beanie is doing great. Loves to dance even more now. Says "dance" and starts dancing around. Just in the last few days she is trying to jump and it is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen. Today she fell off the bed...HARD...and has a huge goose egg on her forehead. I felt like a horrible mama. She was playing with the pillows on the bed. She loves to throw them over the side. Well, she was putting the big body pillow over the side and toppled over with it. I had my back to her and didn't see it, but I know that's what happened. Darn it, I felt horrible for having my back turned at that instant! Bad mommy!! She seems fine though. Once she stopped crying (and me too) she signed that she wanted boob and nursed. As soon as she finished nursing she pointed at her books on the floor, said and signed "book" and we read for a bit. When we got to the Snuggle Puppy book (which also came with a CD) she jumped down from the couch and wanted to dance. So, all in all, she is doing fine, just has a big ol' bump on her head and I feel like the worst mom ever.

I've been feeling an extreme case of mommy guilt lately. I see friends' kids who are the same age and know letters and numbers. Beanie doesn't know too many yet. She knows "A" but just because we have her name hanging up above the change table. We've started working on them more, not really working but you know just playing with letters and stuff. I don't know, are 19month olds supposed to know letters? She'd just rather read, or dance, or bang things around. I know she's having fun, and she is a smart girl. Logically I know she's doing just fine and will learn (and be interested in things) at her own pace, but sometimes its hard not to feel guilty.

Ah, better go. Glenn just got home from work and Beanie is still sleeping. We might actually be able to hold an adult conversation for a bit!


  1. I totally understand how you feel about not being able to post as much - I feel so busy all the time these, when all I want to do is just vege on the boards, my blogs, etc. And when I do manage to get on the boards, they're pretty quiet, for the most part. I miss all our July mamas and hope we're all able to find time to continue checking in with one another!!

    Oh, and ditto on the mommy guilt! I actually went out and bought flashcards with words/pictures and colors/shapes today, because I'm starting to feel "behind" for not trying to teach more at home. I think our kiddos are totally on track, but peer pressure sure starts early, doesn't it??

  2. We miss you at the July board. I've been lurking more than responding on the board. I am with Kristin when she says, all I want to do is vege out. I do frequent the photography board more often though.

    As far as the guilt, I wouldn't worry so much about it. Brandon still talks gibberish. His 18 mos. appointment I told his pedi that he only knows a few words and letter. She said that's fine. She wasn't really concerned. I do recommend watching wheel of fortune, lol. Brandon loves that show and repeats the letter the contestants asks after each spin. LOL

    I am sure Alexa will be on top of everything!

  3. Kristen, I'm sorry I missed this post when you first made it, but I totally second Kristin and El. You are doing a great job, and Alexa is just fine. As Kristin said, peer pressure DOES start early, but at this age, I think our babies are just fine loving to dance, bang things around and goof off -- they have YEARS ahead of them to learn letters and numbers, you know what I mean? There's only such a short time to truly be a kid. Of course, I have the mommy guilt, too, and I want to teach jack things, but then I find myself pressuring myself and him to learn letters. Better to learn them in the natural course of things, I think, or as a game. If it makes you feel better, Jack does not know any letters or numbers, and he doesn't talk much. I have a feeling they'll all be just fine! More than fine. :)


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