 |
| Pacific City, OR 2009 |
So often our expectations of a day impact whether we see it as good or bad. Usually those expectations are set based on what we want to (or think we need to) accomplish and how we want others to perceive us. For example, I used to have this checklist of things that "had to" be done, usually before hubby got home from work. The laundry list included everyone eating breakfast, tidying up the house, getting out for a playdate or errand, getting Bubby down for his nap, and learning time for Alexa. Difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish when Hubby gets home before noon most days. It was that expectation of perfection, the thought that there were all these things I "had to" do, all these things that other mothers seemed to be able to do without trouble.
But now I've started to redefine how I think about good days. A good day is when we all get up (hopefully not too early) and eat breakfast. Maybe I get a couple chores done. Maybe not. The kids and I play in the playroom. I leave my phone in the other room. I don't think about what I "have to" get done, the blog I want to compose, or the bills that need to be paid. I enjoy my time with them. Maybe we get an errand done. Usually not. The kids are usually dressed by the time hubby gets home. I'm usually still in my sweats unless we've gone out with friends.
And, you know what? That's a good day. Good days (and good mothers) aren't defined by clean kitchen counters and problem-less days. It's about really taking the time to be present and enjoy the day, hiccups and all.
What's your definition of a good day?
Yes, I also envisioned a good day to have my house clean/tidy, bills paid, etc. But since becoming a mom, a good day for me is just having the satisfaction of everyone be happy (no whining, no worrying about what happened at work, etc.) just be. Spending giggles with my boys, hearing my oldest run when his daddy comes home. That to me is good enough to label it a good day.
ReplyDeleteOoh, read my post from today. Sometimes it takes a little perspective to show us "how good a day" we've really had!
ReplyDeleteOh! This is SUCH a good post! I wholeheartedly agree with you that a good day is being present and engaged in whatever it is you are doing and being a good mom is not defined by clean counters and folded laundry! I would also add that, for me, a good day is characterized by figuring out what needs to be done in that moment ans then DOING IT! Whether "it" is reading to my kids, snuggling, disciplining, taking a nap, doing the dishes - whatever. Those are the days I feel good about at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteI really like this post. I'm not really sure what makes a good day for me. I guess I feel pretty good if I've maintained a sense of humor throughout the day. I do know that my standards continue to change. I try make the effort to enjoy my children while they are so young and not worry too much about the little things. Of course, I don't always succeed at this, but I keep looking forward and keep trying. :)
ReplyDeleteA good day around here is when I manage to enjoy my time with Moira, no matter what we are doing.
ReplyDeleteI guess my standards are quite low.
ReplyDeleteIf we all survived the day, then it was a good day. No bad days yet thank God!
Oh wait, we've had some fish that have had really rotten days. Oh well, learning opportunity!
ReplyDeleteThis post was featured as one of The Best of The Best this week!
ReplyDeletehttp://blmerrill.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-of-best-march-4.html
That's a great point. I have a long to-do list for myself daily too. I want my hubby to come home to a clean, tidy, happy home...with supper hot and ready for him to sit down. And some days, it wears me out and I have nothing left for my hubby. It's my own expectations that I try to live up to..nobody elses.
ReplyDelete