It's not that I don't have anything to say. I do. I've been unreasonably hard on myself about what I have to say, my anxiety is at a level not seen since my college years, the PPD is still ever present, I have physical problems coming to a head besides my horrible neck and back pain (but, on the upside, I may actually have a diagnosis for what is going on) and it's just been a hard time for my family -- all of us.
All that complaining (or was it just explaining) to say that I'm here. And I'm going to write. I don't know what about. We've slowly been reintroducing soy. My inlaws moved back here. We're starting up Beanie's co-op preschool adventure. The weather is getting nicer. I want to start making our household cleaners. We've been talking a lot about food (real food) vs. food products. I don't know what the next month will bring, but I'm just going to carve out time to write. Time that is just for me. Where I don't have someone peering through the door jam as I pee. Or yelling at me that the sparkles on their shirt are hurting them. Or wanting to stay latched on 24/7.
Just me. And the computer. And my blog.
The theme (which I can tell you right now I won't be sticking to) for June NaBloPoMo is "Fan."
|Image credit: SCA Svenska Cellulosa Aktiebolaget on Flickr|
The kind that cheers you on and supports you.
The kind of fan people like to have when blogging.
Sometimes it seems like it's a competition. How many followers do you have? How many page views? What do you write about? Who reads? Who comments? Do people share your posts on Facebook? Retweet your tweets?
I just want to get back to where it's just writing. Because when you're just writing, the rest falls in to place.
It's not like this blog is paying the bills, after all.