NaBloPoMo is 'Return.' I found this somewhat fitting for my return to blogging, but, more so, in my recent return to life.
I feel like post-partum depression robbed me of so many things over the last 17 1/2 months. I read a blog post quite awhile back (I think it was on Postpartum Progress, but last time I searched I couldn't find the exact post) about how having PPD made you feel like you were in a bubble floating over everything that was happening in your life. I can definitely relate to that feeling. I doubly kick myself because I don't have too many pictures of Bubby over the last 17 1/2 months. I guess I wonder if, without pictures, I will remember what all occurred while I was in that bubble. I am always thankful that my step-mom has her camera out and ready nearly every time they are over because at least those pictures serve to help me remember. Logically I know that, in the end, it doesn't really matter. Bubby won't grow up and wonder why there aren't a lot of pictures of his first year of life. He will grow up and thrive because of the love and attention he received during this period of time. Still, I have that guilt that the pictures aren't there, that I felt like a spectator in the highest, farthest away seat in the stadium and it was my own life.
At least now I feel like I am an active participant in life. Perhaps not fully to the extent I'd like to be, but we're getting there. I remember dancing with the kids a few weeks ago. Just happily dancing. Not watching them dance. I was there, in the thick of life, and loving it.
If you're a regular reader, you've probably noticed I've changed a few things up. New title. New layout. What do you think? If you're visiting from NaBloPoMo, say hi!