Life Lessons From My Children

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Learning from children

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared the many lessons their children have taught them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I've grown so much as a person in the last three-and-a-half years. I'm not the person I once was and my growth has definitely been for the better. Along the way I've learned quite a bit. I've learned that it's not all about the lessons we impart on our children (not even close!). It's more about the lessons they choose to teach us.

Here are ten life lessons I learned from my children:

1. There really is such a thing as love at first sight. The second I saw her sweet, vernix-covered face I knew there was no going back. I was so in love with Beanie. It was instantaneous. Not that there wasn't a lot of love for her before she decided to make her entrance into this world, but when I saw her it all changed. I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I still can't. You hear people talking about the love they have for their children. Let me just tell you that you have no idea. As Glenn and I discussed becoming a family of four, I wondered how I would ever be able to love a second child as much as I loved my first. As any parent of two or more knows, that question is moot; the love for your children, whether you have one or seven, is exponential and grows daily.

2. Learning happens all the time. Every moment is an opportunity to learn. Take the time to think about things, ask why, and let your curiosity lead you. I've often said I could be a professional student (if only someone would pay for my tuition!); there's no better "student" than a three year old. They are full of wonder and curiosity. I try to remember that as I'm being asked "why?" for the ten-thousandth time. We learn as we go.

3. It's not about the destination; it's about the journey. Before I had children, I'd hike to the waterfall or the top of a mountain. Now? Not so much. Go for a walk or a hike with a toddler and you'll quickly learn exactly what I mean. That bug on the leaf you never would have noticed? Fascinating. The beauty of a field of flowers? Take it in. For an hour. That slug who you thought looked the same as all the others? Different. You may not even make it to your destination, but taking the time to enjoy the journey, the process, makes the destination less important.

4. Plans are made to be broken. That grand scheme I've had to clean one room a day? The plan to make it to the grocery store before naptime? The checklist of things to get done? They don't really seem that important when the other option is snuggling with your daughter while your son takes his morning nap.

5. Cooking and baking are fun... There are a few reasons this lesson has been important to me. Partly because, being gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free, I have to cook for myself now. And, more importantly, the joy on Beanie's face when we get to bake together is priceless. It's a new found hobby of mine, and one I've learned to enjoy.

6. ...so is doing the dishes. I hate doing dishes.They're just like laundry. You do them and, as soon as you're done, there's more to do. But, doing dishes with Beanie? So much fun. She's taught me that there really isn't anything you can't make fun.

7. Trust your instincts. Whether in regards to switching to midwife care at 34 weeks pregnant or being the parent your gut is telling you to be, becoming a mother has taught me that my instincts are usually right. Trust yours.

8. There is joy in the littlest things. The other day Beanie's eyes lit up as we shared a banana. A quick hug. A family dance party. A simple "I love you." An ear-to-ear grin as she learns to ride her bike. Heading to the park, going for a walk, reading stories together while her brother sleeps. It's not the big things we do or places we go that really make an impact; it's the little things each and every day that bring us the most joy.

9. Life without wheat, dairy and soy "ain't that bad." Sure, there are times that are harder than others, but being on a restricted diet due to Bubby's food sensitivities has been rewarding. I feel a lot healthier. The change in Bubby has been remarkable. We've explored new foods and found that different isn't bad. In fact, a lot of times it's better.

10. Take time for yourself. You're worth it. I struggle with this, but have found that I really am a better mom (and wife and all-around person) when I take time for myself. You can't be everything to everyone. Or, if you're like me and a mom who really tries to be, you need to make sure and include yourself on that list. I'm trying to share this lesson with Beanie as she gets older; she no longer naps, but she does need a mid-day refresher and I want her to know that's okay. She has even started to ask for some "quiet time for herself."

What lessons have your children taught you?

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 11 with all the carnival links.)

• Affection — Alicia at I Found My Feet has finally become a hugger and kisser, now she has someone sweet and small to snuggle with. (@aliciafagan)
• Learning from Daniel — Amy at Anktangle hopes that she and her husband will always be open to learning from their son. (@anktangle)
• Kids Cultivate Awareness of Universal Truths — From forgiveness to joy, Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness has become aware of deep truths that come naturally to children. (@InnateWholeness)
• What the Apple Teaches the Tree — Becky at Future Legacy has learned about imagination, forgiveness, and strength.
• A Lesson in Slowing Time — Bethy at Bounce Me To the Moon revels in the chance to just be with her baby.
• Learning From My Children: I Am So Honored — WAHM Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey is learning to choose tea parties over work. (@MyMotheringPath)
• P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E — Now that she's a mother, Danielle at born.in.japan is finally learning about a personality trait she lacked. (@borninjp)
• Top 5 Homeschool Lessons My Children Taught Me — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares what she learned from homeschooling her (now grown) children. (@DebChitwood)
• Learning to Live in the Present By Looking to the Future — Dionna at Code Name: Mama finds the patience to be a gentle parent, because she knows how fleeting childhood really is. (@CodeNameMama)
• The watchful Buddha boy — At Dreaming Aloud, they are learning to cherish their thoughtful, sensitive child in a action-driven, noisy world. (DreamingAloudNt)
• What My Children Taught Me — Dulce de Leche's children have taught her to value herself for the wonderful person and mother she is.
• Lessons from the First Year — Having a child made Emily at Crunchyish Mama realize that her decisions affect more than just herself. (@CrunchyishMama)
• Lessons from Loss — Erica at ChildOrganics learned so much from the love — and loss — of her sweet Bella, five years ago. (@ChildOrganics)
• The Socratic Baby — Erin at Multiple Musings has so-called "identical" twins to serve as a daily lesson in nature vs. nurture. (@ErinLittle)
• Learning to be a Mother — Farmer's Daughter learned the type of patience that enabled her to calmly eat one-handed for months and change clothes seven times a day, before noon. (@FarmDaughter)
• A Few Things Being a Mom Has Taught Me — Heather at Musing Mommy shares the curious, hilarious, and sometimes Murphy's Law-like tidbits we learn from our children. (@xakana)
• I Feel You — Motherhood has taught Jamey from At the Bee Hive empathy, and it extends beyond just her child. (@JameyBly)
• Lessons From My Child… — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares the inspiring ways she's learned to expect the unexpected — and have a camera ready! (@imaftmummy)
• My child is my mirror — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama has seen herself in her children – and it's not bad. (@crunchychewy)
• There is enough to go around… — Kellie at Our Mindful Life learned that love doesn't diminish when it's shared.
• Learning From Our Children, Every Day — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia, Canada is continually inspired by her children. (@UsborneBooksCB)
• Life Lessons From My Children — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood has learned that every slug is fascinating, doing the dishes is fun, and sharing a banana is a delight. (@crunchymamato2)
• Things I've Learned From My Children — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings uses pictures to share what she has learned from her children. (@sunfrog)
• Beyond the questions lies the answer — Lauren at Hobo Mama stopped wondering and started knowing — loving and liking our children comes naturally. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Learning from Children — Lily, aka Witch Mom, finds out just how enchanting balloons can be. (@LilyShahar)
• Life-long Learning — Lindsay at Living in Harmony has learned that what works for one kid might not work for another. (@AttachedMama)
• Walking alongside my daughter — Lindsey at Mama Cum Laude is learning to give the clock less power over her family's life.
• Things my baby taught me about me — Luschka at Diary of a First Child is proud of how she has grown as a mother. (@lvano)
• From my children, I have learned — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip has a litany of beautiful lessons, from selflessness to sleeplessness.
• The Little Things in Life — In a simple and lovely prose poem, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shows how adults worry about the wrong things and forget the little, important ones: watching ladybugs, jumping in leaves, cherishing each moment as it comes.
• The Virtues of Motherhood — Melissa at The New Mommy Files has had opportunities to learn from children as both a teacher and a mother. (@NewMommyFiles)
• My Kids Have Taught Me That It's Time To Stop Blogging — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has learned that childhoods fly by too fast to blog. We'll miss your wonderful online presence, Melodie, and we wish you much peace and happiness. (@bfmom)
• Having Kids Has Taught me a Thing or Two — Michelle at The Parent Vortex learns all day long — from fun facts about hedgehogs to tying a complicated wrap with a screaming child and an audience. (@TheParentVortex)
• We Could All Learn from the Children — Momma Jorje takes time to get on the floor and play so that she can see the world through her child's eyes.
• Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who's taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does't deserve it. (@littlegreenblog)
• Parenting as a joint venture — Olivia at Write About Birth appreciates watching the astonishing way her children learn. (@writeaboutbirth)
• Beginner's Mind — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns from a child who builds bridges to nowhere, calls letter magnets his numbers, and insists dinnertime is truck time. (@RachaelNevins)
• A baby's present — RS at A Haircut and a Shave presents a short poem on the differences between a baby's mindfulness and ours.
• Self-Confidence Was Born With My Daughter — Sara at Halfway Crunchy learned to trust her instincts by responding to her child's needs — and saw her self-confidence bloom.
• From the Kids — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante has one list of earnest and one list of silly things she has learned as a parent. (@seonaid_lee)
• Lessons my children have taught me — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes learned that attachment parenting was the best way to meet the needs of her child and herself. (@Sheryljesin)
• Till the water is clear — Stacy at Mama-Om has learned that her energy can affect the weather patterns of her house. (@mama_om)
• I Hold It — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine has learned that the ability to communicate is much more important than the number of words a child knows.
• What My Children Taught Me About Letting Go — Summer at Finding Summer is learning from her kids to laugh in the face of heartache. (@summerminor)
• Finding My Tools — The Artsymama has applied some of what she's learned as a mama in the classroom, with great results!