The View From Here.

Breathe.

I've been taking a bit of a breather from the online world. I cut back on my online message boards awhile back and now have tried to unplug from Facebook, Twitter, and (turns out) blogging.

A few things led to this. I've been wanting to unplug for a while and doing so was one of my goals for the new year. I read Melodie's post for the January Carnival of Natural Parenting titled My Kids Have Taught Me It's Time to Stop Blogging, I saw a Blogging without Obligation button on a friend's blog and I've really been doing a lot of thinking about what I want (and need) from life right now. Back in November, a few friends and I had a conversation about the difference between wanting to blog and feeling like you needed to blog. I want to make sure I'm in the place where I want to blog, not that I feel like I have to.

My New Year's Resolution was to add myself to the list of people I take care of. I've been working at that, but, I won't lie, it's quite a struggle right now and I have a long way to go. I'm in a difficult spot and, while I've found touching PPD blogs* (and I love that people are blogging and letting moms know it's okay to get help), I'm just not in the place where I feel like blogging about each and every one of my struggles. And, lately, the struggles seem like a lot.

I've also been working to improve my relationships with family, mostly Glenn and Beanie as Bubby has the lion's share of mama's attention right now. Glenn's work schedule has shifted a bit lately and often he is awake after the kids go to bed. It makes things easier with bedtime and it's nice to have some time to talk, reconnect, dork around, watch reruns of The Office and on and on. Beanie is having a difficult time with some things. I'm sure part of it is being 3 1/2, having a little brother, and etc. It really helps us to unplug and reconnect as mother and daughter.

I've been reading a lot. Mostly parenting books. I finished Positive Discipline and am reading Playful Parenting and Unconditional Parenting. I have Parenting Beyond Belief sitting on the end table, too. On the nights Glenn does have to go to bed early, I've been reading instead of staring at the computer. I find it easier to fall asleep that way, too.

It's been harder getting out and about. My neck and back were acting up again, but I am happy to say I found a chiropractor I really like. He practices Jeet Kune Do so we talk about martial arts, he does deep tissue massage along with the adjustments, his office is right across from my counselor's and I am happy to say I'm feeling better. Step one in taking care of myself. I've been six times and am already feeling a lot better. Bubby has been all over the place with his morning naps. Once I think I've got his "schedule" (I use that term loosely because we really don't schedule at all, just let him get into his own rhythm) figure out he switches it up again. I know we have better days when we get out of the house, but lately it has been such a struggle that it seems easier to stay in. That is, until we're all bouncing off the walls about 1 pm.

So, I'm here and I will be blogging. Just when I want to. I've also vowed to stay away from looking at my statistics for awhile and just get back to enjoying writing.

*There's an amazing community for PPD/PPA support on Twitter. They have weekly chats. Search for the hashtag #ppdchat.