I love him. A lot. He's a great partner and a wonderful dad. Many times when I write on the blog I am venting about this or that. Many times I feel the need to vent it's about certain situations which, undeniably, involve the hubby. Don't get me wrong though, I wouldn't have anyone else be my partner in life. We have our ups and downs (sometimes the downs seem more prevalent -- or maybe that's just my hormones talking), but I like to think we are working hard to make this thing work and to build a strong and happy family.
The other day Glenn told me he had an idea and that he knew I wouldn't like it, but to hear him out. Glenn suggested that he get a second job. Wow. I mean, the offer itself is completely selfless...he already works totally insane hours and then comes home and does a ton of chores around the house too. Because, er, lately someone has been slacking. And by someone I mean me. I have really been stressing about finances since Glenn got his new permanent route. We knew it would be less income when he took the route, but the stability of having a permanent job won us out over that obviously. I work one day a week slinging milk at the grocery store. Before we were trying to save that money, really pretend that it didn't exist because all hopes were when we had Baby 2.0 I would be able to quit work. Fast forward to Glenn's new route and my measly 200 bucks a week is pretty much being relied on as income. It's not that I think the world would come crashing down if I had to work one day a week, but it would be a big change from how things were our first year with Beanie. I worry about breastfeeding and sleep and this and that and the other. I would have to pump. Yikes. I hated pumping. And trying to do it in a little cramped office on a 15-minute break isn't all that exciting either. And, logically I know breastfeeding and everything else would work itself out...it would just be a change of plans.
So, for Glenn to offer to work two jobs so I could stay at home was a biggie. On one hand I thought it was a great idea. On the other hand I felt horribly guilty. I mean, who am I to ask my husband to hold down two jobs so I can stay at home with the kiddos? And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there's no work involved in staying at home (trust me, with how overwhelmed I've been feeling lately I'd tell you just the opposite), but I still felt guilty with him proposing to work two jobs and me none. Well, none that pay. Truth of the matter is, I'd have to be a hell of a lot better at my current stay-at-home mom gig to feel at all worthy of letting him even consider that idea.
Turns out, there's an opportunity for him to pick up a couple half-days at his current job that would pretty much be the same (or a little more) as my current income. We'll have to scrape & budget & not go out to eat and have lattes, but I think we can handle that for a year or so. That's pretty much our plan anyways.
Yesterday Glenn asked me how much longer I was planning on working. I'm only 25weeks (wait...25 weeks?!?!?) pregnant, but work has already become a burden on my body. When I worked during my first pregnancy I was able to move along to a lighter duty job that didn't involved lifting and pushing carts and moving around all day long. I feel like a big wuss, but my body feels like it's going to fall apart each Sunday when I come home from work. I walk around like I have a two-by-four shoved you know where. I ache and it usually doesn't go away till Tuesday, Monday night at the earliest. My goal right now is to make it through one more month. I'm taking it one month at a time. With Beanie, I had pre-term labor at 33 weeks, probably from overdoing it at work. Last Sunday I was having Braxton Hicks contractions nearly all day at work. That's my body telling me something. Turns out, this opportunity for Glenn will likely present itself in February so one more month might be all I have to make it. We'll see. If there's any way we could both work for a few months that would be even better.
So, I love you honey! You are a great husband, dad and partner. I'm going to strive to be a better partner too.