Friday, February 26, 2010

Another reason parents shouldn't be on Facebook

If you know me very well you might know I hold steadfast to my "No parents on Facebook" rule. It's nothing personal. They're all okay in their own regard. They're also all crazy in their own regard. But facebook is for me (kinda like this blog which is why they don't have access to this) and I just don't want to censor myself or worry about what I might say that could potentially offend someone. I also don't want stupid silly comments on misinterpreted facebook status updates. It's not like I have lots of wild pictures of drunken escapades on there -- for sure there haven't been any of those in about 3 or 4 years (and after that one 3 or 4 years ago on my birthday I remembered why I quit partying & drinking before I was 21). I'm about down for the count after one or two beers now. I don't swear a lot (and even if I did, hello I'm 30 -- I can swear if I want to). It's just that it's my personal online bubble and I prefer to keep it that way.

Well, the last holdout to pop up on my suggested friends list was my dad. This morning a friend request popped up. I sent him a nice message explaining my "rule." Like I said, nothing personal just the way it is!

Well, later this morning my sister texts me to let me know Dad has pictures all over his wall and his profile isn't private. See, I'm sort of anal about not having pictures of Beanie all over the internet. Everything on my facebook profile is private, set to "friends only," or etc. You've likely noticed I don't post many pictures of us on this blog. I keep a separate private blog for the family & friends who want to follow along with what is going on with Beanie (which...if you know me & want access just let me know). I just don't post pics of her anywhere & everywhere online for people to see.

So, if you're going to set up a facebook page and have it set to public then you should probably ask if you can post a boatload of pictures of my daughter on there.

But, in all likelihood, Dad doesn't even know that anyone and everyone can see his pictures. Although he does have some stuff set to private on there, so who knows? But, seriously, parents -- figure out how facebook works before you jump in headfirst.

So, just curious, what's your stance on parental units and facebook? Are you friends? Do you have a separate account for family? Do you explain anything or just "Ignore" their request? Just curious. I know lots of friends have their parents and etc on their facebook accounts -- it's just not my cup of tea.


  1. I am friends with my folks on FB. Maybe it is cuz I live so far away and that seems to be my only way to connect but I actually encouraged my mom to set up an account.

  2. First of all - thanks for reminding me about my photo privacy settings. All the new albums I make now are for 'Friends Only', but when I first joined FB I didn't know about the settings, so a bunch of my old albums were visible to everyone. Changed now!

    Secondly - neither of my parents are on FB. LOL. But I am friends with my MIL, SIL and BIL, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I don't particularly mind - maybe I'm not as open on FB to begin with, so I don't care who sees what's going on. My MIL loves to see the pictures of the kids on there. If you've got a family prone to ridiculous drama though, I'm all for your 'rule'. Last thing I would want is misconstrued info off my FB page floating around the family - but I'm blessed with a pretty un-dramatic family. No one gets worked up about silly things.

    Kudos to you for sticking to your rule - you're absolutely entitled to your personal internet bubble!

  3. There remains a large concrete wall up around my Facebook profile. Especially from my parents. Existing reasons that prompted me to leave home in the first place at 18 years of age remain intact. This is my life, now. To escape regulation is to avert it. Safety walls exist to maintain the distance and separate my adult parents from the adult me. It is okay if some want their parents as friends on Facebook. Just don't expect me to jump on that bandwagon any time soon.
    No hard feelings; no judgments toward my parents. It is simply a boundary. A place to be myself without regard to "Oh, God what would the folks say?" No partying, drinking, smoking and little swearing are the regiment in which I live my life. Having nothing to hide is liberating.
    I love my parents; I enjoy Facebook. Separately and that is that.

  4. I'm friends with my mom on FB, as well as my 90-year old grandmother, my aunt and uncle, cousins, nieces/nephews, etc. It felt weird trying to draw a line, and besides, it helps remind me to think twice about what I post on FB, as I am also friends with people who know me from work, etc. With that broad of an audience, I remember to keep my postings pretty PC.

  5. I'm friends with my whole family, as well as in-laws. I have no problem with it, and it's easier for me to keep in touch with everyone. I don't really post anything on FB that I wouldn't want them to see, so it's not a big deal. If I don't want them to hear about something, I don't post it.

  6. Yes Cade -- I enjoy my parents and I enjoy Facebook. Separately. I like that :)

    And, yea, it's not like I post anything too earth shattering or even something I wouldn't mind them knowing about. But, I am sort of a chronic status updater and I just don't want them all up in my business all the time.

    Kristin -- I can't believe your 90 yr old Grandma has a facebook!! Heck, if my grandma was still around I'd probably befriend her LOL.

  7. Senior citizens on FB are amusing - my grandmother has still not figured out that when she wants to say something directly to me, she needs to post it on my page, not post it as her status! :-)

  8. Oh if gramma had a fb that would've been awesome :) I can see grampa with one too always posting "Helllooooo Bestest Friend" on my page lol!

    Anyways, you know I'm 100% with you on this. Siblings, cousins, and age-alike relatives are all good but parents are a no go. Especially considering that sometimes I just like to complain about dad and linda. Though if mom actually ever used her fb I'd probably be okay with her being my friend cuz she knows everything anyways.

  9. Kudos to you on the privacy issue! I'm the same way about family pics. Too many weirdos out there, and I tend to be flypaper for freaks anyway.

    As for FB, I only use mine to talk to the inlaws. Blogging is pretty much the extent of my online time these days, so I don't bother to friend a lot of people.

  10. I have my dad on Facebook, and probably would have my mom if she could use a computer (I mean physically she can't use a computer, not that she's stupid or something, lol!). I have FIL, Uncle-in-law, cousins... meh. I don't really care. Probably cause most of them are far away (for now) and it's an easy way to post pics of the kids (on friends only privacy). I don't party and drink or post stupid things, just daily updates, usually kid related anyways. Like others, I try to keep things PC cause of the variety of people I have on there, like from work, etc. Plus, I've heard a lot about employers now doing Facebook searches on people just to check up on that kind of stuff. Like if someone just parties, is posting not so great pictures and complains about work all the time.

    However, I can totally understand having the family rule for some people. I just don't for myself.


Thank you for taking the time to comment! I love to hear from you.