Thursday, February 18, 2010

When it rains it pours.

I am SO over this week.

Between the cat and the bad (for now) news I got yesterday I'm ready for the week to be over.

Yesterday morning my OB's office called and said that she had a family emergency and would be out of the office until after my due date. I asked to switch to another doctor that a good friend recently delivered with, but, no, they have decided the best (maybe easiest for them?) course of action is to shuffle me around the office and just reschedule my appointments on the same day with whoever is on call. (Is it supposed to be whomever? I can never remember.) So, basically for the next six weeks of my care I'm going to see any and all docs in the office. I might get to see one twice IF I go past 39 weeks. I was pissed and sad and cried my freaking eyes out. Honestly, I hadn't been feeling all that great about my care with my OB for a lot of the pregnancy, but within the last few weeks we had a good long talk, she signed off on my birth plan, and I was feeling a lot better about things. She seemed like my old OB. When I had Beanie I described her to everyone as a lot like a midwife in the fact that she took her time, listened to my concerns and etc. This time, for many of the appointments, I felt assembly-line rushed through. It sucked. But, like I said, I was feeling a lot better about things recently.

Glenn just didn't understand what the big deal was. I told him I thought it was some sort of sign and he laughed and said, "you've never been superstitious," which, to his credit, is absolutely true. He said, "why don't we just get a doula or whatever?" I actually think he called them a ma-doula but whatever, I knew what he was talking about. Number one: we can't afford a doula. Number two: Finding a doula we clicked with who's available for an April (or perhaps late March) delivery is probably going to be hard right now. After we talked, I realized he didn't think it was a big deal because there is no guarantee our OB would actually deliver 2.0 anyways. Which, there isn't. Unless we delivered during office hours we would be with whoever was on call. But, that doesn't change that I have 5 more appointments with 4 different people. That is a huge deal to me. It feels so impersonal. Like I'm going to be "new" every time I go in to have an appointment. And they don't know me from Joe Blow. We had a good chat though and, after talking, he understood why it upset me so much. It's way more than just having someone else deliver 2.0.

We made the decision to call a midwife group that also delivers at the hospital. We are likely most comfortable delivering at the hospital so I feel like it's a good way to go. Or at least worth checking out. I've heard good things about them, but, who knows, they could be closet OB's. Lol. I've heard conflicting things. They actually have a couple spots left for April deliveries so I'm going in for a meet and greet this afternoon. I have my 34 week appointment on Friday afternoon (right before our appointment to surrender Sammycat to the Humane Society), so I figure I'll get a feel for how my current office is going to treat us OB-less preggos. We'll have to make our decision pretty quickly; the MW office said those couple spots could likely fill very quickly. I don't doubt it.

So, we'll see. Wish me luck. After crying most of yesterday about everything, I'm starting to feel like maybe this is just what I needed to push me to get better care for myself and 2.0. I definitely align myself moreso with a midwive's view of childbirth and maybe I'll meet with one of them and really click. I am a bit worried because I do think it's the same type of thing -- meet all the midwives and one of them will be the one to deliver. I worry that with only 6 weeks of pregnancy left that I won't have the opportunity to really know any of them, but I do know it'll probably be easier to have a MW on board with my birth plan than finding another OB who will be on board with it.

After much thought, I decided to call my mom and talk to her last night. See, she isn't always the listening type. More like talks your ear off about anything and everything. Like an hour conversation with her is pretty normal. To my surprise, she actually listened. And was somewhat understanding about the cat because they had to put their cat down last year. But, her comment about switching to a midwife? "Well, you'll still be at the hospital, right? You don't want to be giving birth in a swimming pool." Actually, no I don't. For one, I can't swim so it would scare the piss out of me. And, two, they're birthing pools not swimming pools for crying out loud. It's like a kiddie pool. Anyways, I told her the birth center was right across the street from the hospital but that I doubted we could get a spot there for an April birth (they only take 5 people a month). And, while Glenn is fully supportive of transferring to MW care I think it'd take a little more work to get him on board with a birth center birth. Anyhoo, I just thought her comment was a little funny. Funny in an uneducated dismissive sort of way. Not funny funny.

So, wish me luck!


  1. Kristen - This is GREAT news. I know it doesn't seem like it but this is the push you need to do things YOUR way. You shouldn't have to talk your OB into your birthplan - that always sounded a little disappointing to me. You are not doing anything wild and crazy and a midwife is going to be more in sync with what you want.
    I am sorry that you have to go through this so late in the game but I hope it brings a better birth experience for you.
    Hang in there - this may just be a blessing in disguise.

    PS I am glad to here that Glenn "gets it" - so important!!

  2. 1) I agree that it's best for you and 2.0 if you go with a midwife. It's way more in line with what you want!

    2) The OB office sucks right now... I still haven't heard from them and my appt is in 6 days.. I would like to know who they plan on having put in my IUD

    3) You mean that thing people deliver in isn't a swimming pool? I thought chlorine is a natural antiseptic...

  3. Hugs Kristen. I'm sure it will work out for the better in the end. Your blog made me laugh, with the stories about Glenn calling it a "ma-doula" (is that like "medusa"? LOL) and your Mom's pool remark. But I'm so glad for you that you have a hubby who is so understanding and willing to listen and help you get things worked out.

  4. If it's any encouragement, I switched to my midwife at about 34 weeks from a traditional OB and Sugar Booger was a home waterbirth. If you want the info fr my midwife (in Bellvue) I'm happy to give it to you. They're close to the hospital too and there's only two in the practice so you'd be sure to know who was going to be present. You might check in the group if there's someone available to act as a doula for you. I'd love to offer but I can't leave Sugar Booger yet.

  5. I know how the OB assembly line can make you feel. I had two hospital births (with whatever OB happened to be on call, and in one case was the one in the group that I detested most) and two home births with midwives. The difference was unbelievable. Here's wishing you the best birth experience possible!!


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