Sunday, February 28, 2010
So I immediately went into freak out mode and made a huge long list of things we *have* to get done in the next week. Glenn wondered why they have to be done next week and I'm like because they HAVE to get done!!! Enter the crazy I'm-about-to-have-a-baby zone. The zone where I think of anything and everything we still need to do and want it done yesterday. The zone where I drive Glenn completely nuts for the next two weeks until the baby comes.
With Beanie it didn't happen so early on I think. I remember freaking out that he HAD to install the carseat one night. That night I went into labor. So I was, what, 38 weeks exactly the night I freaked out about the carseat. Okay, in all honesty I think I had been bugging him about it for a week or so and then finally was like "It HAS to be done tonight!!!" And we had more time on our hands last time around so the room was ready and etc. We had a shower so we had lots of clothes. Too many clothes -- like so many that some of the ones I'm passing on still have tags on them and quite a few have never been worn. But I am swapping clothes with a friend as soon as I am healthy (it's certainly thrown a kink in my get-everything-done plans to be sick!) and, really, newborns don't need that many clothes. And, I'm sure those who do gift us things will gift clothes. I registered for a few (boring) things like diapers, tylenol, nursing pads, and on and on but I really doubt anyone is going to buy me a tube of lanolin. But, clothes...I'm sure we'll have an abundance of and (again) probably more than we need.
I never was a crazy nester with Beanie. You know, like the people that go and scrub the corners of their rooms with a toothbrush. But, I'd really like a clean house before 2.0 arrives. Between our stressful week the week before last and all three of us being sick last week we are way behind the times. I'm hoping we can all start feeling better and start crossing things off one by one. My goal is this next week because, in reality, I know it's going to take longer. Seriously, I can barely unload and load the dishwasher and switch the laundry without having contractions. I have Braxton Hicks all day long. They've really kicked it up a notch in the last few days. Probably doesn't help to be sick.
And I have a 2 1/2 year old who has decided she doesn't want to listen to anything Glenn or I say. Mostly me it seems. Between being sick, pregnant and achey I have no patience for her lack of listening lately. It makes me feel bad, but I think most anyone would probably react the same way. We talked about what we were going to work on today (um, listening) so let's hope we make some progress.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Well, the last holdout to pop up on my suggested friends list was my dad. This morning a friend request popped up. I sent him a nice message explaining my "rule." Like I said, nothing personal just the way it is!
Well, later this morning my sister texts me to let me know Dad has pictures all over his wall and his profile isn't private. See, I'm sort of anal about not having pictures of Beanie all over the internet. Everything on my facebook profile is private, set to "friends only," or etc. You've likely noticed I don't post many pictures of us on this blog. I keep a separate private blog for the family & friends who want to follow along with what is going on with Beanie (which...if you know me & want access just let me know). I just don't post pics of her anywhere & everywhere online for people to see.
So, if you're going to set up a facebook page and have it set to public then you should probably ask if you can post a boatload of pictures of my daughter on there.
But, in all likelihood, Dad doesn't even know that anyone and everyone can see his pictures. Although he does have some stuff set to private on there, so who knows? But, seriously, parents -- figure out how facebook works before you jump in headfirst.
So, just curious, what's your stance on parental units and facebook? Are you friends? Do you have a separate account for family? Do you explain anything or just "Ignore" their request? Just curious. I know lots of friends have their parents and etc on their facebook accounts -- it's just not my cup of tea.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I'll try to make the long story short. On Thursday afternoon I had my meet and greet at the midwife's office. I immediately felt more comfortable talking to them and found out everything in my birth plan is pretty much standard practice for them. I walked out of the appointment feeling GREAT and, I think, deep down knowing just what we needed to do. I talked to Glenn and he agreed, but we decided to wait until after our OB appt Friday afternoon to make any final decision.
Friday was a whirlwind of a day. I ended up having to take Beanie to the doctor in the morning, then we squeezed in an unhealthy lunch at McDonalds and then went to my OB appt. I was surprised to be met at the pee drop-off my the medical assistant who said I could head right back to the scale. That was a first, but I was really glad to not have to wait around with Beanie. Unfortunately, it wasn't any indication that the rest of the appointment would go well. When the OB came in the first thing she asked was whether I had any complications with my first pregnancy. I told her I had gestational diabetes. I tried to tell her that it was very mild, if not a false positive and that I had to add carbs back into my diet because my numbers plummeted so low after going on the GD diet. She would have none of it! She kept asking how big Beanie was (6lb 8oz -- hardly a BIG baby!), if I felt bigger this time around, and on and on. If you've followed my previous posts about the whole gestational diabetes thing, you know just how little I think of me actually having it last time. We talked a little more and then I asked if all the OBs were on the same page because my doctor had already signed off on my birth plan. The (new) OB said, Oh yea, I was looking that over. You should really reconsider having a HepLock at the least because when you're bleeding to death is a really bad time to try and place an IV." No joke -- those were her exact words. It was at that moment that I knew I was NEVER coming back to that office. I texted Glenn & told him what had happened. He asked if I was upset. I told him that, surprisingly no, I wasn't that it just made the decision that much easier for me. I knew we were doing the right thing.
If I could've I would've marched right over to the MW office and filled out the transfer form then, but I had Beanie with me and she can't come to that office during cold and flu season. So, we went home. We surrendered Sammycat that afternoon. All three of us went. I'm glad we all went -- it was very emotional for all of us. We cried (well, Glenn and I did) a ton. Beanie didn't really understand; I'm not sure she does even now. I'm sure it will take awhile. The other day she told me, "Don't worry mom, he'll be home soon," and I tried to explain (again) that he had a new home.
I'm still upset, but it's getting better. I'm almost in tears thinking about him in a little cage waiting to be adopted. I was a mess all Friday night and most of Saturday morning. When Glenn came home from work we talked though. He made a good point that really helped me with things. He said, of course we loved Sammy and we miss him. But when Glenn was getting ready for work he didn't have to worry about not waking up the cat (because then he would howl for hours and wake up Beanie & I) and he didn't have to look to see if there was crap on the floor. We love Sammy, but we couldn't live with his behavior and it really was the best decision for everyone, including Sammy. Glenn was right and I felt much better after thinking about it that way. I just hope Sammy has a nice, new home soon.
On the way home, we stopped by the MW office and I filled out the form to transfer my records and made all my appointments. I walked the form across the parking lot to the OB's office. I called them Monday to make sure it was being taken care of. I called Tuesday when I heard they weren't at the MW office yet. The office manager called me back and wanted to know what happened. She didn't seem to bat an eye at the "bleeding to death" comment, but was very apologetic that the front desk people didn't have enough sense to schedule me with one doctor for my last few appointments. Whatever, honestly at this point I don't think that would've helped, but at least they were making an effort. The MW's office called to let me know that my old office had hand-delivered my paperwork over to them. Nice, I guess?
I had my first "official" appointment with the midwife yesterday. Had a really good impression of the gal I met yesterday, so that's 2 out of the 5 that I clicked with. I felt listened to and didn't feel rushed at all. In fact, the almost 40minute appointment (new patient/new OB appt) seemed LONG! But I managed to fill up the time talking about Beanie's birth with her and with discussing any concerns or questions I had about my upcoming delivery. I have another appointment next Wednesday to go over my birth plan. It'll be nice to go into the appointment not feeling like I need to be on the defensive.
I really think switching care has helped alleviate a lot of the worries I had previously too, probably just because I feel better about things and don't feel anxious about my care. Of course, there could always be unforseen circumstances or emergencies but I feel like now I'm working with a group of people who are advocating for what I want too. It's a great feeling.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Seriously. Since I'm like bawling my eyes out I've decided to sit out in the living room and dork around on the computer. I mean, Glenn already cried a bunch before bed so do i really want to wake him up with my crying?
I don't know why I had that 2nd pic so small in photobucket, but whatever. It's cute.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Between the cat and the bad (for now) news I got yesterday I'm ready for the week to be over.
Yesterday morning my OB's office called and said that she had a family emergency and would be out of the office until after my due date. I asked to switch to another doctor that a good friend recently delivered with, but, no, they have decided the best (maybe easiest for them?) course of action is to shuffle me around the office and just reschedule my appointments on the same day with whoever is on call. (Is it supposed to be whomever? I can never remember.) So, basically for the next six weeks of my care I'm going to see any and all docs in the office. I might get to see one twice IF I go past 39 weeks. I was pissed and sad and cried my freaking eyes out. Honestly, I hadn't been feeling all that great about my care with my OB for a lot of the pregnancy, but within the last few weeks we had a good long talk, she signed off on my birth plan, and I was feeling a lot better about things. She seemed like my old OB. When I had Beanie I described her to everyone as a lot like a midwife in the fact that she took her time, listened to my concerns and etc. This time, for many of the appointments, I felt assembly-line rushed through. It sucked. But, like I said, I was feeling a lot better about things recently.
Glenn just didn't understand what the big deal was. I told him I thought it was some sort of sign and he laughed and said, "you've never been superstitious," which, to his credit, is absolutely true. He said, "why don't we just get a doula or whatever?" I actually think he called them a ma-doula but whatever, I knew what he was talking about. Number one: we can't afford a doula. Number two: Finding a doula we clicked with who's available for an April (or perhaps late March) delivery is probably going to be hard right now. After we talked, I realized he didn't think it was a big deal because there is no guarantee our OB would actually deliver 2.0 anyways. Which, there isn't. Unless we delivered during office hours we would be with whoever was on call. But, that doesn't change that I have 5 more appointments with 4 different people. That is a huge deal to me. It feels so impersonal. Like I'm going to be "new" every time I go in to have an appointment. And they don't know me from Joe Blow. We had a good chat though and, after talking, he understood why it upset me so much. It's way more than just having someone else deliver 2.0.
We made the decision to call a midwife group that also delivers at the hospital. We are likely most comfortable delivering at the hospital so I feel like it's a good way to go. Or at least worth checking out. I've heard good things about them, but, who knows, they could be closet OB's. Lol. I've heard conflicting things. They actually have a couple spots left for April deliveries so I'm going in for a meet and greet this afternoon. I have my 34 week appointment on Friday afternoon (right before our appointment to surrender Sammycat to the Humane Society), so I figure I'll get a feel for how my current office is going to treat us OB-less preggos. We'll have to make our decision pretty quickly; the MW office said those couple spots could likely fill very quickly. I don't doubt it.
So, we'll see. Wish me luck. After crying most of yesterday about everything, I'm starting to feel like maybe this is just what I needed to push me to get better care for myself and 2.0. I definitely align myself moreso with a midwive's view of childbirth and maybe I'll meet with one of them and really click. I am a bit worried because I do think it's the same type of thing -- meet all the midwives and one of them will be the one to deliver. I worry that with only 6 weeks of pregnancy left that I won't have the opportunity to really know any of them, but I do know it'll probably be easier to have a MW on board with my birth plan than finding another OB who will be on board with it.
After much thought, I decided to call my mom and talk to her last night. See, she isn't always the listening type. More like talks your ear off about anything and everything. Like an hour conversation with her is pretty normal. To my surprise, she actually listened. And was somewhat understanding about the cat because they had to put their cat down last year. But, her comment about switching to a midwife? "Well, you'll still be at the hospital, right? You don't want to be giving birth in a swimming pool." Actually, no I don't. For one, I can't swim so it would scare the piss out of me. And, two, they're birthing pools not swimming pools for crying out loud. It's like a kiddie pool. Anyways, I told her the birth center was right across the street from the hospital but that I doubted we could get a spot there for an April birth (they only take 5 people a month). And, while Glenn is fully supportive of transferring to MW care I think it'd take a little more work to get him on board with a birth center birth. Anyhoo, I just thought her comment was a little funny. Funny in an uneducated dismissive sort of way. Not funny funny.
So, wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
See mom, all kids eventually sleep through the night.
*Crossing fingers I didn't just jinx myself*
Either way, seems like we're headed in the right direction.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
This morning when I brought Beanie's waffles to the table I noticed that Samcat had crapped in the corner of the dining room again. Not once. Not twice. There were three little piles in the corner. The other night we noticed some poo in the dining room again. Glenn and I were both upset because ever since we had taken him to the vet things had been better. But, yea, the sight of three piles of poo right when I was getting ready to sit down and eat breakfast pissed me off. We've been doing everything the vet suggested -- giving him more love and attention, feeding him right before bed, making sure Beanie doesn't bombard him with hugs and love and kisses. And, still, Samcat decides to crap on the carpet.
I'm really sad about this. I mean, we've had Sammy since he was like 8 weeks old or whenever they allow you to take him home from the Humane Society. We went to look for a cat in 1999. We walked through the shelter and Sam came up from the back of his little cage to greet us, almost saying "Hey, look at me! I'm cute...take me home." And he was cute. He was so small he fit in the palm of Glenn's hand. He had been found in the insulation of a construction site and had to have his shoulder repaired when he was just a itty bitty kitty. The lady told us he was really shy. We decided he was out cat and named him Buckosam (you'll have to ask Glenn where he came up with that name...something I think he always wanted to name a pet when he was little I think). We've had him for almost 11 years. The thought of giving him away has put me into tears more than once today. But, obviously, he is not happy here.
Last night Glenn asked me what we were going to do about Sam (this was after the first post-vet visit poo). I replied that we'd talk about it tomorrow after he got home from work. The first text message I sent this morning said Well, it's decided for me. Sam shit TWICE in the corner where [Beanie's] high chair was. I know that's what Glenn had already decided too, but, still, it's difficult. I know it is for him too. He was already having a difficult day at work and to top it off he's sad and pissed about the dang cat too. Sam's old. He's not a cute little kitten so I imagine it'll be harder to find a home for him. I did find a no-kill adoption center pretty close to our house. They were closed today, but I emailed and hope to hear back soon. Now that the decision is made, I just sort of want it done with.
I'm worried about what to tell Beanie about the cat going bye-bye. She thinks that damn cat is her best friend. When she wakes up, she runs out and says, "Good morning kitty!!!" When we get home she knocks on the door and, when we get inside, exclaims, "Kitty! We're home!" One of the last things she does before bed is to give him a scoop of food and pet him and say, "Here you go kitty...be good boy." She loves the stupid cat. I don't really know how to tell a 2 1/2 year old that her pet is going away. What is she going to think when Glenn leaves with the kitty and comes back without him? We've thought about telling her he's going to stay with other kitties. I don't know. I don't want her to somehow think it's her fault that he's leaving. We've been on her about giving him space and all that and I just don't want her to equate him leaving with something she did. Because, honestly, she's been super good about giving him space and being respectful lately.
Well, now I'm in tears again. And need to go clean up the poop. I couldn't handle it right after breakfast (I know I'm going to puke so the thought of that on a full stomach just didn't sound appetizing) and then I couldn't find the Kids and Pets. But yea, I got my gloves and all that (even more important because I'm pregnant!), the Kids and Pets is soaking and it's time to clean it up. Plus, Beanie is napping which is a plus -- she always wants to help clean up and she totally freaks out when I get sick doing it.
Well, that's all folks. If you have any ideas on how to break this down to Beanie I'd really appreciate it!
Monday, February 15, 2010
What the hell?!?!? This preggo wants a Star Burger.
Supposedly there are six locations in the Puget Sound region. I'd like to know why none of them are relatively close to my house.
Good thing I'm in my third trimester because if I was still in the I'm-craving-this-right-now stage Glenn would be driving his butt all around town to get me a Star Burger.
Because he loves me. And he's awesome. And would totally go for a Star Burger too.
I've had a lot of contractions over the weekend. So many on Friday night that I called the on-call OB, but she said not to worry unless I had 6-8 in an hour. Seemed like a lot to me. I guess that's part of the joy of a second pregnancy?? Lots of early contractions! Yay. Insert sarcasm here.
It did sort of freak me out because I had a bout of pre-term labor with Beanie at 33 weeks and had to have a shot of terbutaline. I do sort of have a feeling this little guy is planning on coming early (Beanie was 2 weeks early) but I'd like him to bake for at least another month.
Potty training is going awesome. Beanie is in underwear all the time except for naps and bedtime. She wakes up dry 99.9% of the time. Most of the time she will run to the potty when she needs to go, although, of course, we have accidents every now and again. I'm really glad we waited until she was ready ready and glad that (hopefully) we'll only be buying one size of diapers come April. Or at least that the diapers we buy for her will last a very long time when we're only using one or two a day!
We went to Target yesterday and stocked up on stuff. Now that I'm almost 34 weeks (eeegads!) I've sort of got the whole -oh-my-god-we-need-to-get-ready mindset. I had a HUGE list of stuff to get -- nursing pads, lanolin, diapers, witch hazel pads, stuff for the hospital bag, sheets and a comforter for 2.0's room. We also got a newborn sized outfit for him to come home in; we already had a 0-3month one to pack, but I'm hoping NB will cut it. For Beanie, her NB sized outfit was big!
2.0's room is almost done. I'll make sure and post pictures when it is!
Beanie slept from 8:30 pm - 6am all by herself last night! Then I went and laid down with her for an hour and we slept some more. It's funny...even at 2 1/2 when she sleeps that long I find myself waking up and going in to peek on her. It was 4am and she was laying across her bed horizontally....so cute! As we were reading our bedtime stories last night she told me that I was "too big for her bed" and that I could "sleep in my bed." I'm in agreement!
There's a HUGE pile of dishes on my kitchen counter. I've been trying to do chores in spurts in hope to not get totally tired out and to fend off any contractions. But, it's hard. I feel bad because Glenn is working like 12+ hours a day, coming home and working on 2.0's room and helping with chores and then going to bed to do it all over again. He's an awesome hubby and dad! I feel like we've both been short on patience with Beanie lately and I feel really bad about that. She's really been a pill lately, so the shortage of patience is probably not unexpected with all else we have going on. She's a sweetheart though -- I love her so much and feel bad because she's so social and would love to be out and about seeing her friends and playing ALL DAY EVERY DAY and, right about now, Mommy feels more like laying on the couch all day. I imagine it's only going to be harder after 2.0 arrives. Crossing fingers Glenn will be able to take a few weeks off work. The last couple days have been a lot better, so I'm hoping maybe we just had a rough start to the week last week. And, I sort of thought I saw reddish gums so maybe her top 2 year molars are getting ready to come in? I think that'd make me cranky too.
Okay, that's it I suppose! Time to get off this stupid computer :)
Friday, February 5, 2010
See, I wasn't really dead-set on a natural birth with Beanie. Sure, I really wanted one. I desired one even more after going through our hospital birth classes (our hospital is pretty NCB friendly and was very well-balanced in the information they provided at our class). I lurked on a natural birth message board. But, I didn't really prepare. To be honest, I wasn't knowledgable about all the interventions and this and that. I had a let's-see-how-this-goes mindset. It served me well. I labored at home for almost 10 or 11 hours and then headed in to the hospital (well, actually to my OB's because contractions still really weren't regular). I was elated to find out I was already dilated quite a bit. I had Beanie about 5 hours after I arrived at the hospital. It was a remarkable experience.
This time I am dead-set on a natural delivery, barring any unforseen circumstances of course. I have done a lot of reading (remember, I'm a dork!) and found quite a bit of support online. The natural birth message board I lurked on has become a place that I post. I am committed and I know my body can do it. But...
there are all those "what ifs."
I think the "what ifs" are compounded by the fact that I also have another child to worry about. Not only does Glenn have to get home in time (and since Beanie was posterior I do worry that a properly positioned baby might result in a faster and easier labor), but our caretaker for Beanie has to be able to get here fairly quickly. I'm not wanting to head to the hospital really early on, but I don't want to wait too long either. Luckily we live about ten minutes tops away from the hospital. I worry about Beanie sleeping while we're gone. She's doing a lot better, but she still wants Mommy to put her down every night. She still wakes up once and wants a cuddle. I'm sure she'll do fine; if all goes well I hope to be released in under 24 hours again. And we'll be really close so Glenn could always head home if needed.
I thought it might do me a world of good to just write out my worries & "what ifs" and let them go. For the most part they are out of my control anyways and we all know it does no good to worry about things you can't control anyways. I've been meaning to meditate a little and try to let go some more. I really should. It's hard to find the time for much of anything lately, but it is important for me to let go.
--What is 2.0 is breech, traverse, or posterior?
--What if there is some other emergent situation?
--What if 2.0 is properly positioned and my body doesn't like "normal" labor as much as back labor?
--What if Glenn is stuck at work and has a hard time getting home quickly?
--What is Sissy can't get here in time for Beanie?
--What if my labor progresses a lot faster than last time and I don't get to hospital in time?
--What if I hate my nurse? (lol, already decided she'll be fired!)
--What if I need a c-section?
See, do you think I'm a neurotic pregnant lady yet???
And that's just my labor and delivery "what ifs." Then there's the whole transition to a family of four, which, from everyone I've talked to, is pretty difficult. Difficult in a good-in-the-long-run way.
Anyway, I'm letting go, trying to envision my ideal birth experience and go from there. As a good friend said, "You, my dear, will be just fine."
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Eek. I'm really feeling the crunch.
And, whoever told me when I first got pregnant with 2.0 that at seven months pregnant I would feel like I was nine months pregnant with my first was absolutely and unequivocally correct. I am feeling it for sure. I'd tell you all about it, but I'd just be whining. But, yes, this second pregnancy has been much harder on my body than the first.
This is the changing table/dresser we got.
We're still up in the air on whether or not we'll buy a crib. We're both leaning towards no. Glenn's brother is going to give us the bassinet they've been using as their daughter isn't sleeping in it anymore. Hopefully the bassinet will last a month or so. And we have the pack and play. While I'm hoping that 2.0 is a more independent sleeper than Beanie was I am also thinking that we will probably end up co-sleeping for at least part of the night, especially after Glenn goes back to work. We'll see. I'm not laying any plans in stone, that's for sure, because I know how all those "plans" went by the wayside with Beanie. I'm sure we will co-sleep some, but I also like being able to stretch out a little in bed and snuggling up next to the hubby, at least for the few hours before he has to go to work.
Anyhoo, off that tangent. Back to pancakes and pee.
After we went to Babies R Us, it was getting a bit late so we decided to just stop and grab something for dinner. I tried to take Beanie to the potty with me while at BRU, but she wanted to "try later." It's pretty awkward trying to squat down and hold her up on the big potty anyways and she is, in fact, a little scared of the "big potty." I imagine it does look pretty big to a two year old. After we ordered our dinner we decided to take her in to try and go potty again. And it worked! The first time she's ever used the "big potty." Well, it sort of worked. It must have been the fact that I was clinging on to her while squatting down with my back in a spasm & the fact that she was sitting all awkwardly trying not to fall in, but when she peed it went all over her legs...like a little pool to her knees. Sigh. What am I missing her you smart mommies who have already potty trained???
We get back to the table where Beanie proudly tells Daddy that she peed on the potty. Well, then the waiter (a youngish male) comes to the table with some extra napkins and Beanie proudly exclaims very loudly, "I pee-peed on the potty!!!!!" I was like oh. my. god. and just laughed. The waiter said, "Oh, that's a good job." It was hilarious. I'm sure the waiter didn't know what to say, but his response was pretty good!
So, one order of pancakes for Beanie. A hamburger, fries and a shake for Mom and sandwich for dad. And an entire restaurant of people that know Beanie peed on the potty. lol.
But, great news, we haven't had any accidents for 5 days. HAPPY DANCE.