Sunday, April 24, 2011


Sometimes I just feel like I'm waiting. Waiting for something. Waiting for many things.

Sometimes I feel stuck. In limbo.

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. Or like a time bomb about to explode.

Sometimes I feel like I'm ninety, not thirty-one. I can barely walk. I'm in so much pain. My head is pounding. I feel like I'm going to vomit.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a big fat failure at this parenting thing.

Sometimes I want to get out for some time to myself, but I just don't know where. I don't want to talk to anyone. Not even long enough to order a coffee.

Sometimes I look at my daughter, her hair glistening in the sun and smile wide across her face, and wonder how I got so lucky.

Sometimes I look down at my son as he smiles at me while he's nursing and know I wouldn't trade anything for being where I am.

Sometimes I look in to my husband's eyes and know that I couldn't have a better partner in all of this.

Fortunately the good sometimes are starting to outweigh the bad ones.


  1. I understand that feeling - wanting to get out but needing to be by yourself. My husband goes to coffee shops for down time, but there are too many people there for me.

    I'm spending a lot of time trying to cherish those good moments - to look for them, even. I'm not there yet, but it will come.

  2. So glad you are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel!!!

  3. Wow! I feel like you pulled that right out of my head! It was like seeing my own thoughts and feeling written out but by another person. That was very powerful.

  4. i just stumbled upon you...first time. i sooooo relate to these feelings. i have a 2 and a 4 yr old and sometimes i just want to get away but i dont want to leave but i cant shake the crankiness...and other days i am so in love...

  5. Thanks for putting into words what so many of us just don't say.


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