Well, hello there.

I haven't been on here forever. FOREVER. Lately I've been getting a shit ton of emails notifying me of spammy comments, so I logged on to change my settings.

I've had a bit of an itch to write. A bit. I bought a journal at the beginning of the year thinking that I could chronicle things in there. Yeah, it's still blank.

I feel like I'm in a good place. Things have been going well. I'm able to ride the ups and downs of life. Maybe I'm in a place where I can write. Just honestly write.

We'll see. No promises.

The Dinosaur Shirt

A few weeks ago, Beanie and I went shopping for school clothes. She was super excited when she saw this long-sleeved tee shirt. She LOVED it. I made no mention that it was from the boy's section, nothing to that extent at all. When we came home, the Hubby asked if it was for baby boy. I said that, no, Beanie had picked it out for herself.

She showed the shirt to her BFF next door and she seemed to think it was equally cool.

Beanie picked out the dinosaur shirt to wear to school tomorrow. When I asked her what she picked out (because we always pick out school clothes the night before), she told me and commented on how she was so excited and how it was such a cool shirt. It is! So, why is all I can think about the fact that she may (or may not) get teased at school for wearing a boy's dinosaur shirt. I mean, it's sort of ridiculous, right? I want her to know she can wear whatever she damn well pleases (well...to an extent haha). I want her to know that pink isn't for girls (as her brother will attest to as he's wearing Big Sissy's old pink butterfly jammies to bed), and that blue isn't for boys. Colors aren't for one person and not another. They're colors. I want her to know that boys don't have the exclusive choice of dinosaurs, bugs, and rocketships (which, coincidentally, are all things that she loves). I want this freedom for her. We strive to instill these values in her mind.

But....but....but...

She's five. She's already told me about how she was invited to the "girls club" on the playground, and has been talking endlessly about needing a Disney princess book (apparently her princess books aren't fitting the bill right now...I'm hoping that the versions of Beauty & the Beast, Cinderella, and The Little Mermaid that I put on hold at the library might ease some of the Disney-specific princess talk). And, hell, I'll probably let her peruse the stupid Disney books and see if there's one she wants to check out.

I want her to feel confident being dinosaur-loving, bug-loving, solar system-obsessed self. I want her to play princesses and know that they're stories and not buy in to the "princesses only do this" crap. I want her to feel bold enough to look anyone in the eye and tell them that "dinosaurs aren't just for boys."

Will she learn all this? Have we prepared her for the cruel world that is pink-obsessed girlhood? What will happen tomorrow? (Anxious mama hopes all my worry is for naught :) )

I worry for my sweet girl. We've worked hard at giving her roots to grow; now she's exploring with her wings to fly.

******

P.S. She totally picked out bright pink pants to wear with said dino shirt. Stylin, no?

******

Oh, and hello, has it seriously been six months since I blogged? Yowza.

Sssshhhhh....

Do you hear it?

.......

***crickets***


........


Yeah. Me neither.

Surprisingly there are still some people reading this thing.

What have I been up to?

Well, obviously, not blogging.

I wish I had something exciting to report, or an elaborate story to tell, but, in reality, I've just been living. And blogging hasn't been a part of it, nor have I really felt any desire for it to be part of it (until last night as I lay in bed suffering from insomnia and wrote this post in my head).

I've been wasting time on Pinterest.

Racking up bills at the neurologist.

Staying up late with Beanie, who has decided struggling to stay awake until god awful hours of the night is good fun.

Planning Bubby's birthday party.

Playing Triple Town (seriously addicting!)

Drinking red wine and re-watching the third season of True Blood (first) and now Game of Thrones with the hubby.

Trying to figure out how to pay our bills.

Reading.

Remodeling my home in my head.

Having MRIs.

Taking a break from Facebook.

Getting to know the new neighbors (who have a five year old girl -- how cool is that? The girls seem to get along well. Bonus that the parents seem pretty awesome too).


So, I'm here today. No guarantees about tomorrow. How's that for hopeful? At this point, I'm more than okay with letting this thing die off, getting it made into a book (did you know you can do that??), and maybe coming back to it later. Who knows, maybe I'll be back in another six weeks....

Maybe sooner.

Not the Last Time

Earlier this week we ended up at the doctor's office for an urgent, unexpected appointment.

It had already been a long day. We had all gone in to the chiropractor since Hubby had a pinched nerve in his neck. The consult and appointment took much longer than anticipated so it was nearly dinnertime by the time we were heading home. We toyed with the idea of going out to eat, but, given our recent misadventures getting pho and the fact that we are trying very hard to stick to our budget, we decided against it. We had spaghetti sauce in the refrigerator and just needed to boil some noodles anyway.

As Hubby started getting dinner ready I went out and tried to make room in our garbage and recycle bins for this week's stuff. We didn't get a pick-up last week because of the snow and we downgraded our garbage service late last year, so it was a tight squeeze.

I came back inside and heard Beanie screaming. Like screaming, crying, and gagging. She has been extra emotional lately so this isn't all out of the ordinary, but my first thought was, What the hell is going on? Hubby said they had been having a hard time sharing and were working at taking turns on the trampoline. I went over to the playroom and Beanie was on the trampoline, holding her head, and crying. Bubby was throwing play tea cups and dishes at her. I hollered at him to stop while I washed off my garbage-y hands and told Beanie to come over. As I walked toward her I saw it.

A huge goose egg above her left eye. It had swollen up quite immediately. It was already all shades of purple and red. Apparently Bubby had some good aim and connection this time around (I'm guessing with a wooden block or some of the wood play food). I grabbed some ice from the freezer and put it on her forehead. She was not thrilled with that (AT ALL), but we stuck with it. Glenn took over ice duty and I called the doctor.

We'd had head bumps in the past, but this one was a lot worse. And big. After talking to the nurse we decided to go in. The things we needed to watch for (including Beanie being extra emotional or cranky -- she's 4 1/2!!) were not something I wanted to guess on this time. Glenn called in to work and we headed to the pediatrician's office.

We didn't get to see our normal pediatrician and the one we saw was so weird. She talked in this weird I'm-talking-to-a-three-month-old-baby silly voice. "Do you have a boo-boo? Does it hurt?" I wish I could describe her tone of voice in a blog post because even Beanie looked at her like she was nuts.

Went through all the little tests to make sure things were fine neurologically (they were) and headed back home. She let me ice her forehead a bit more and, luckily, the swelling went down fairly quickly. She still has a bit of a bump and a big shiner on her forehead, but I get the feeling she's been enjoying telling her preschool friends how she got it.

I'm sure this will not be the last time one of the kids injures the other, so I'll just take a deep breath and hope the next time doesn't come too soon.

It's Been a Long Week.

We've had snow on the ground for the last week. That is a big deal around Seattle. Nine inches of the white stuff at our house. The last week has been a bit difficult. No preschool. No gym class. No playdates (which it seems that nearly every playdate we've had scheduled for the last six weeks or so has been cancelled due to illness on someone's part). The hubby took my car to work every day. Not that I would've gone anywhere anyway, but we were stuck. Cabin fever overload.

I'm sure it didn't help that I am on an increased dose of meds, but not really feeling the full effect yet. It didn't help that Hubby still had to work every day. I tried to remind myself of this when I kept seeing Facebook posts about how people were getting so much accomplished on these snow days -- housecleaning, baking, fun outside, etc; I tried to remember that many of them had an extra set of hands at home all week. It didn't help that the kids were (are) sick. AGAIN.

The hubby took Beanie out for a Daddy-Daughter date today. I took a nice long nap with Bubby. I still have the strong urge to get out of the house by myself for a few hours. Maybe tomorrow? Our neighborhood is still pretty slushy and yucky and yesterday we had difficulty coming up the one side of the hill. The Camry hasn't left the driveway in over a week and it's still covered in a blanket of slushy snow.

I tried to keep in mind that I was feeling quite cooped up and that it was surely harder for the kiddos.

Luckily we've had power the whole time. Quite a few friends have been without power, some for days. So -- knock on wood -- at least we have that.

And it's almost a new week. I'm thinking of deactivating my Facebook account for awhile again. I just feel like I'm stuck in this distracted place. Maybe I just need to set (and enforce) some restrictions after this hectic week and get back to being balanced and where I want to be.

Menu Plan Monday: 01/16

Seems like as good a week as any to post up my menu plan. I actually have links to every meal, so that's nice to share. I'm glad we planned and shopped already because we have quite a bit of snow on the ground and more is expected later today.

Sunday: Meatloaf muffins with mashed potatoes (made with almond milk and coconut spread) and green salad.

Meatloaf muffins

(Meatless) Monday: Black Bean & Quinoa Burgers

Black Bean-Quinoa Burgers

Tuesday: Sweet & Sour Chicken with pineapple & green pepper. Served over rice. (Been wanting to try this since I saw it on Pinterest)

Wednesday: Italian Minestrone Soup (crockpot)

Thursday: Indonesian Chicken (crockpot)

Indonesian Chicken

Friday: Sloppy Joes (we use the whole can of tomato paste because we like them thicker)

Saturday: Date Night!! Applegate Farms hot dogs and fresh fruit for the kiddos. (After trying these we have decided we will never eat another kind of hotdog again!!)

***Visit I'm an Organizing Junkie for more menu ideas.***

Sunday Surf: 01/15

I'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!
For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.
Happy Surfing!




******


Well, we have about five or six inches of snow here so it's been a quiet (and fun) weekend. Beanie is very excited about all the snow. Bubby enjoys looking at it, but is a little intimidated trying to trudge around in so much snow. He's quite happy to be carried around and look at it though.

Parenting

• My Secret Life -- I loved this post on cutting out distractions and getting back to what's important. I've been making my time in the playroom "hands free" and am trying hard to move towards that in all my time with the kids.
• Unwind -- This post about parenting and marriage really, really spoke to me. Like I cried reading it. Hubby and I went on a date last night. I wish we could find a way to go on more. Baby steps.
• Did you check out the Carnival of Natural Parenting? It was all about experimenting with green living and I loved reading through the posts. Since the carnival I've been using a homemade facial scrub every day and I will never ever go back to using a commercial one. My skin feels so nice!

Secular Parenting

• I really liked these two videos. I know, I know...not something to read, but they're good food for thought. Anything but an Atheist! and Anything but an Atheist II.

Birth

• It was brought to my attention that the UW School of Nursing wants to end the nurse midwifery program because they said it didn't meet a "societal need." There's a petition on Change.org to save the program and I urge you to sign it 

Well, that's all. Happy reading!

Cheater.

I don't know what it is, but I've really been wanting to cheat on our diet lately.

It's usually not a big deal. I have never knowingly eaten anything that I knew could upset Bubby's tummy. I have been strict. I've missed things, sure, but knowing that my son feels 100% better (and, really, that I do too) makes it more than worth it.

Lately though? Things that are off limits have been sounding pretty damn good. Like when the hubby got some chocolate peppermint topped cheesecake for his treat on his night off. Or some yummy fresh baked sourdough bread. Brie. An apple fritter. I could really go for one (or all) of those right now.

It's weird. I usually don't miss things. I did for a short bit after each one of our unsuccessful reintroductions, but when I haven't had it for awhile it usually doesn't matter. It's usually the dairy too, since I felt like crap when we tried to reintroduce the wheat.

If you're on a restricted diet, do you ever find yourself craving things that are off-limits? Do you cheat? Do you just push through until the cravings go away?

All you need is....vinegar!

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

My cleaning cabinet has been cleaned out and restocked with just one product.

Image Credit: lisaclarke on Flickr

Vinegar.

The hubby would tell you that I've been toying with the idea of trying vinegar for cleaning for awhile. We'd switched to greener cleaners after having kids, and I figured what would be lost by trying out some vinegar? My mom used it a bit when I was little. It's safe for the kids. It doesn't smell (or at least doesn't make my house smell like it took a chemical bath). It's cheap.

When we ran out of our Method lavender spray, I rinsed out the bottle and filled it with (roughly) equal parts of vinegar and water and a bit of grapefruit seed extract (leftover from our recurrent bout of thrush in 2010). At first Hubby complained of the smell, but later I added some orange essential oil and it definitely cut down the vinegar smell. But, really, who wouldn't rather smell vinegar than some of those commercial cleaners?

I've used the vinegar spray on just about every surface in the house. It works great. The only time I noticed a slight problem was when I went to clean the mirror; it looked pretty streaky as I wiped (I'm guessing from the orange oil), but once it dried up it looked great.

One thing is for sure; I will never be buying a $3 or $4 bottle of cleaner at the store again. Considering the cost of a gallon of vinegar and the fact that it'll clean just about anything, I can't imagine coming to another conclusion.

I'd like to get a couple more spray bottles. One for just vinegar and another for a yet-to-be-determined concoction.

The other small change we made last month was trying to use rags instead of paper towels. We've had a stack of rags for the kitchen and other cleaning, but we often used paper towels for cleanups anyway. I've been trying to be more mindful and use the rags when cleaning off the counters, tables, and etc. That's what they are there for, right?

I'm still kind of new to this, so do you have any great "recipes" for cleaners? What do you use to clean in the kitchen? bathroom? windows?

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
• Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
• Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
• Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
• Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
• Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
• Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
• Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
• My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
• mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
• Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
• Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
• I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
• 7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
• Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
• Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
• Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
• Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
• Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
• Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
• Elimination Experiment 3.0 — MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
• Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
• Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
• Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
• Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
• Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.
• The Oil Cleansing Method — Erica at ChildOrganics explores an easy, organic and natural way to tackle skin care.
• Experiments in Natural Family Living - Natural Toys! — Lani at Boobie Time enjoys the silence of natural toys and being more present with her son.
• Discovering a New City and Organic Foods — Amy at A Secure Base describes her family's switch to and search for organic foods for one week.
• My Experiment in Homemade Bread — Crunchy Con Mommy tried — and loved — baking her own homemade bread.
• Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses — Gaby at Tmuffin stopped the excuses and started planning her weekly meals, drastically cutting her grocery budget and stress level and improving the quality of foods she fed her family.
• My First Menstrual Cup — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children was pleasantly surprised with her first experience using a menstrual cup.
• My Natural Beauty Regime — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the results of banishing cleanser and soaps from her bathroom, as well as a couple of natural homemade recipes that have worked well on her skin.
• Unplugging and Creating a Rhythm: Our Experiment in Natural Family Living — Dionna at Code Name: Mama focused less on gadgets and spent more time with her family to create a healthy rhythm for the new year.
• Experiments in Natural Family Living: 5 First Steps Toward Preparing for a Natural Birth — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama discusses how she tackled the pressing matter of how to begin preparing for a natural birth.
• All you need is...vinegar! — Kristen at My Semi-Crunchy Life learns that one household product can replace all the cleaners in her cabinet.
• Nope Nada Ixnay Negative Pass Decline — Zoie at TouchstoneZ finds out what shakes loose if she says, "YES!!" to anything anyone asks of her over the space of 10 days.
• Reducing our exposure to toxins found in plastics — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins throws out the melamine and BPA plastics which have been hanging around the kitchen for too long.
• Duh! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how she began the process of helping her 2-year-old son stop physically acting out.
• Experiments in Natural Parenting: Starting, Stopping, and Gaining Perspective — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings explains how pregnancy brain interfered with her attempts to complete an experiment, but how she gained some interesting perspective as she started and stopped several.
• From Experiment to Lifestyle — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her experience avoiding processed foods for a month, and deciding to make it a permanent lifestyle change.
• From Disposable Paper to Reusable Cloth – AGAIN! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops flushing trees down the toilet and switches to the softest ever butt-wiping material: cloth.
• Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice! — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis finds an energy-saving experiment that's so easy she didn't even realize it was happening.
• Worm Tea — CatholicMommy isn't sure how successful her worm bin will be, but she's having fun anyway.
• Miles to Go ... — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns that when it comes to sleep debt, she's in real deep.
• My Month With Water Kefir — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries experiments with a new fermented probiotic drink homemade in her own kitchen.
• OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting — What a difference a week makes! Ana at Pandamoly is afforded a week off from work and takes the chance to reconnect and reattach with her 16-month-old son through an experiment in simply being there.
• Creating Healthy Family Recipes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiment with healthy, gluten-free recipes and a chocolate muffin recipe that was created during the experiment.
• Adventures in Alternative Haircare: No 'Poo — This guest post at Natural Parents Network from Amy at Anktangle chronicles a months-long journey into the world of no 'poo.
• My Experiment in Natural Family Living: Natural Family Planning — Birth control options are seriously limited for those of us trying to live a little closer to the earth, so Mama Psalmist experiments with natural family planning.

Sunday Surf: 01/08

I'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!
For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.
Happy Surfing!




Slowly but surely I've been getting back in to reading online and this week I've read some good things.

Parenting

• The 5 Building Blocks to Raising Resilient Children -- "We often think our job is to protect our children from tough situations, but in fact, our protection is only protecting us. We don't want to deal with their anger, sadness, and fear. In many cases, we were not allowed these feelings as children so we don't know how to manage our children's feelings. It's easier if they don't have them. When we overly protect our children and try to make them happy, we inadvertently reduce their ability to cope with life's inevitable frustrations and situations beyond their control."
• 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons -- This post, and its counterpart for Fathers of Daughters, has been pinned and repinned on Pinterest. I don't necessarily like how they are targeted towards sons or daughters as I think these are good "rules" for all.
• 10 Commitments That Will Make You a Better Parent -- LOVE this post! "Being a parent is tough.  Most of us feel like we could do a better job, but resolving to be more patient rarely works.  That's because sometimes the first step to being a better parent is actually about how we treat ourselves.  We can only give what we have inside. "

Food & Diet

• The Average American Ate (Literally) A Ton This Year -- 42lbs of corn syrup this last year?? Eeew. Glad to know our family has mostly eliminated that nastiness from our diet.
• Cheeseburger That Stayed Exactly the Same After a Whole Year Raises Alarm -- As a friend said, "Even bacteria won't eat it." 
• Pepsi's Lawsuit Defense: Mountain Dew Would Have Dissolved Mouse Carcass -- Back in the day I worked the graveyard shift and smoked like a chimney. My co-worker gave me a hard time about it and I assured him that I was positive his drinking a six-pack of Mt. Dew each night was quite unhealthy too. I bet him that I could quit smoking and he couldn't quit drinking the Dew. I never smoked again. He was downing soda the next night.

Mental Health

• The Fight Goes On -- One of the most honest posts about depression I have ever read. (warning: could be triggering for some)

Happy reading :)

C-O-F-F-E-E.

The hubby always laughs when I sing the following song:

"C-O-F-F-E-E. 
Coffee is not for me.
It's a drink some people wake up with,
That it makes you nervous is no myth.
Slaves to the coffee cup,
They can't give coffee up."


I laugh too.

It's sort of an inside joke with us.

The shocking part is that I learned this song in fifth grade choir. Wow.

I've been tired lately. So tired. Like drag my behind around all day and then lay in bed at night unable to sleep. Damn insomia. I'm sure part of it is the building stress we have going on right now. Part of it is the dreary, dark Pacific Northwest winter. Part of it is increased anxiety (and that is probably from reason #1).

For awhile I was drinking a lot of coffee. I used to try and skip my morning cup of joe if I thought I'd have an afternoon espresso. Lately it's been a cup in the morning (and, of course, a cup in the morning is really never one 8oz cup) and a good, strong homemade espresso in the afternoon.

The last few days I've skipped the cup of joe in the morning AND the afternoon espresso. Granted, I have had a nice cup of tea in the morning so I'm not really getting rid of caffeine, but I feel so much better. I was worried I'd be really tired or have a headache or something, but, surprisingly, I felt pretty good all day. I think I'll stick with the tea in the morning thing and see how it goes.

I'm not going to give up my afternoon espresso here and there though. Hubby makes a damn good espresso and it's a nice little treat in the afternoons. I'll just try to make it a sometimes thing rather than an every day thing.

***Wrote this yesterday to publish today & I did have a small cup of coffee this morning to start hubby's long weekend. Maybe I'll try to go a week straight with tea in the mornings and see how I feel???***

Finding my Voice.

Ooh, my first post of 2012.

A clean slate.

A fresh start.

Something earth shattering or post-worthy or...

....just a post.

Just some randomness.

Just something to get me back in to writing.

Yes. That's all.

Today was a good start to the year. I got a lot accomplished. I vacuumed and dusted the master bedroom which may not sound like a lot unless you've seen my master bedroom in the recent past. We worked through the daily chores for the most part (and I'll post up my little spreadsheet later because a few people have expressed interest in seeing it). We had breakfast for dinner and I made extra waffles to freeze (used olive oil in my recipe because we're trying to get away from using canola oil and I think the taste was too strong -- I'd love to use coconut oil, but it's so expensive! Maybe half and half next time??) It was a gorgeous day and we played baseball outside a bit with the kids. I had wanted to go for a short walk with the kiddos, but Beanie has been chomping at the bit to play baseball since we cleaned out the last bit of stuff from storage at my sister's (including, of course, a bat, ball and mitt my dad had gotten for Beanie ages ago).

I started reading Freedom Through Frugality and I'm enjoying it. We've had to be pretty darn frugal by necessity, but the book does have some good ideas. We're already using many of them, but one we'll definitely be putting into practice this year is having a vegetable garden and canning/preserving. I don't know much about gardening, but I'm eager to learn and I received an organic gardening book that I'm itching to read through. I have a laundry list of things I'd like to plant -- carrots, squash, broccoli, peas, spinach, tomatoes, peppers, berries, and more -- but I want to start with some easy planting since I sort of have a brown thumb. Or, at least I did in the past. I really enjoyed cleaning out the garden space and I'm looking forward to having my own garden and taking care of it, so maybe that will help.

The four-year old is quiet (and hopefully finally asleep) and everyone else is already snoozing, so I'm off to read and wind down for bed. I'd like to add some fiction to my before-bed reading...any recommendations?

Is it really the end of 2011?

It's been pretty quiet here. Last year I resolved to add myself to the list of people I took care of. I think I did pretty well with that. I know that I am doing so much better than I was last year at this time. I'm sure weekly therapy sessions for the last 13 months and (later) Zoloft have helped with that. The PPD/PPA has lessened and while I deal with my normal propensity toward anxiety, things are much improved. I feel like I can handle what comes my way.

If last year was about taking care of me, then this year will be about focusing on my marriage and my family. Now that I'm feeling whole again I can work on those other things.

Earlier today I read a friend's status on Facebook and it said that her focus in 2012 was going to be on balance and simplicity. I couldn't have said it better. I also hope to strive toward a more balanced and simple life. I just finished reading Simplicity Parenting and I think it provided some great food for thought. We aren't really over-the-top with our toys or activities, but there are some areas in which I know we could simplify and make things better. First, my cluttered house; both Glenn and I felt better when we had the condo for sale and everything was neat and tidy, and I'd like to get to that place in this house too. I'd like to cut back on being tethered to my phone, Facebook, and (my new love) Pinterest. I have this divine plan of divvying up the household chores into daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. I have a spreadsheet set up and I really think it will make things more manageable for me, especially because I become overwhelmed at the sheer amount of things I feel must get done.

Things have been going well, really well, the last few months. Maybe my quiet made people assume otherwise, but I've just been focusing on what's really important to me. I've been working on getting to the place I want to be in life. I haven't really felt like blogging about it. I've thought of writing in a journal (how old school lol), but haven't really done that either.

I'll wrap up with a list of things I'm looking forward to in 2012:

• Monthly (at least) dates with the hubby (thanks sis for the babysitting coupons for Christmas)
• Planning and starting our backyard garden
• Canning and preserving with my new pressure canner
• Trying out more vegetarian and vegan meals
• Having an organized home
• My work days at Beanie's preschool (since we signed up late I haven't actually had a work day yet)
• Starting some sort of regular exercise again -- I'm thinking yoga and Hubby got me a Kinect and some games for Christmas
• Going more green. As part of our very frugal holidays we made body scrubs for family members. I want to explore making more body care items. I've been using homemade cleaner for a bit here and I LOVE IT.

All right. I think that's it for now. Onward and upward.

Have a safe & happy New Year's Eve.

Books & Jeans.

Yesterday I was lamenting about how Beanie only has one pair of jeans that fit. How we made an Amazon wish list for the kids for Christmas and how everyone bought books. How I had asked for some jeans and clothes for her too. How I couldn't wait until our shipment from Osh Kosh showed up so she would have another pair of jeans.

My hubby replied that he was pretty sure no one ever grew up and worried about how they only had one pair of jeans that fit when they were four-and-a-half, but how people grew up (and grew intellectually) because they had many books to read.

Leave it to the hubby to keep things in perspective.

I love my husband.

That is all.

(And, don't get me wrong, I am super thankful that Beanie will be getting lots of books for Christmas. Really, that is what we wanted for her. I was just being emotional and am trying to re-tell the story. Don't want to sound like a thankless grinch ;))

Birth Thoughts (and please help support midwifery care).

I've been thinking a lot about pregnancy and birth lately.

Bubby's birth.

I don't know if it's because he is nearing two-years old and it's becoming more apparent every.single.day. that he is more of a toddler and less of a baby.

I don't know if it's because we've decided our family is complete.

I don't know if it's because I still haven't had a post-partum period and I'm all hormonal.

I don't know if it's because the midwifery practice that we transferred care to has been pretty effectively disbanded and now there is no longer real midwifery care at the hospital we delivered at.

I do know one thing. That is that if we hadn't transferred care to the midwifery practice we most certainly would not have had the birth experience we did. My midwife was caring and supportive, she encouraged me, and gave us what we needed -- just a little more time. Not to be watched on a clock. I wish I could have been less anxious during my early labor with Bubby; I wish I could have trusted that my body was doing what it needed to and that the timing was perfect, not something to worry about. Our midwife assured us of that and every went well.

This petition at change.org calls for the establishment of a true midwifery practice at the hospital. Please consider signing. It doesn't matter whether you birth with an OB in a hospital or a midwife at home, in a birth center, or in a hospital; the point is that every mother should have a choice.

Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free Thanksgiving.

We did it AGAIN. Another year with a delicious gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free Thanksgiving dinner.

The spread.

Turkey.

Egg stuffing.

Marshmallow mashed sweet potatoes.

Mashed potatoes (made with coconut milk)

Gluten-free stuffing.

Pumpkin pie with vegan, soy-free whipped cream.

Thanksgiving Prep.

This will be our second gluten-free, dairy-free, wheat-free Thanksgiving. I LOVE Thanksgiving, but we just weren't feeling like cooking this year. I also didn't feel like going over the mountains to my dads, nor did I trust my mother-in-law to actually cook according to our dietary restrictions (to her credit, I don't really trust anyone to cook to our dietary restrictions). I have two relatives with Celiac's and other family members who sort of haphazardly eliminate things from their diet and don't meticulously read labels (like my dad who served gluten free spaghetti and regular ol' bakery bread the last time we were over). Of course, that's their choice; they're adults and can cheat (or not cheat) as much as their little heart desires. Since Bubby can't choose for himself, I choose for him. And we don't cheat.

Anyway, we went from planning no Thanksgiving to having two Thanksgivings! Our small Wednesday dinner with my sister turned in to a dinner for eight. Then Thursday we'll go to my brother-in-laws. I feel somewhat safe eating the food there, but I'll probably bring food for Bubby and I just to be sure. My mother-in-law took great offense to this it seems, but, really, we were just trying to make things easier for them and reduce stress (and the chance of being up all night with a screaming almost two-year old) for me.

I'm going to make a pumpkin pie this afternoon (just as soon as I finish my coffee) and prep the stuffing later tonight. Glenn is in charge of the turkey tomorrow. We'll also have egg stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, vegetables, cranberry orange sauce, and some other dessert. Oh, and Stovetop. For some reason, my dear husband has a penchant for Stovetop stuffing so there goes our almost completely homemade Thanksgiving. I don't really care, although I do love giving him a hard time about it. I'm sure there's something else I'm forgetting.

I'll try to snap some pictures and post some recipes later.

But, don't hold your breath because seeing how my last post was on Halloween I'm not promising to get them up anytime in the next 24 - 36 hours ;)

Menu Plan Monday: Halloween

I've promised myself I won't get swept up in Menu Plan Mondays, Wordless Wednesdays and the like. But I am really excited about our menu plan this week and I actually have links to almost all the meals so I thought it'd be a great week to share.

All meals are wheat-free (and mostly gluten-free), dairy-free, and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Black bean quinoa burgers on Udi's bread with spinach, tomato and avocado.

Sunday: La Bamba Casserole (no cheese or corn) with blue corn chips
Monday: Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings (going to make biscuits on the side instead of dumplings bc both Glenn & Beanie prefer it that way)
(Meatless) Tuesday: (moved bc of Halloween) Black Bean Quinoa burgers (my friend who gave me this recipe said, and I agree, that the water to be added to the mixture must be a typo -- use about 3/4 of a cup)
Wednesday: Meatloaf Muffins from Cook It Allergy Free, with mashed potatoes and spinach salad
Thursday: Potato Omelet (from my Cooking Light cookbook, but I can't find a link online -- I'll keep looking!)
Friday: Mac and Beef (one of my mother-in-law's recipes that Glenn wants to try. We're using Ancient Harvest quinoa macaroni)
Saturday: Tostadas

I'm also planning on making some more pumpkin muffins (this is the same recipe I adapted earlier -- make sure you look around her blog, she has awesome ideas for bento boxes and more). Hopefully they'll last more than 24hours this time around ;)

Happy eating!

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie, so click over to check out more menu-planning ideas.

The Itch.

I keep getting the itch to blog again. I've been horribly absent. I'd apologize, but I'm not too sorry actually. I've been focusing on my family and getting our lives balanced and in order. Glenn has had more late shifts ("late" for him being normal for everyone else) so we've had time together. I've been reading and trying to restore some semblance of order to this catastrophe of a house. I'm feeling better though. I don't feel like my depression or anxiety rules me every day, so that's good. I feel like I am thinking more clearly, able to communicate better, and able to connect with Glenn and the kids. The only downside is this is all happening at the dark time of year and I am struggling with that a bit. I've upped my Vit D and I do think that helps. I should exercise, but that hasn't happened yet. We signed Beanie up for preschool. She loves it and I am so positive it was the best decision for our family. It was a hard decision since we'd committed to the co-op with our friends, but, once Grandpa offered to pay for preschool, it was really the only decision we could make. We are all so happy with it -- Beanie looks forward to it every day, it allows Glenn and I some time together, Bubby can play without being told what to do, hit, kicked, or pushed. Yeah, it has been good for everyone. We've been menu-planning, couponing, baking, and raking leaves (lots of leaves). I've been using the TV as a crutch again and I'd like to get away from that. We've been smoothie-making fiends. Bubby hadn't gained any weight between 15 and 18months so we're on the "get good food in the kid" diet. Smoothies consist of almond milk yogurt, coconut or almond milk, coconut oil, avocado, flax seed, fruit, and spinach. We all like them.

I keep struggling with what I unreasonably think blogging should be and what I need it to be for it to be sustainable. I love writing. I think blogging through the changes that are going on right now could be a good thing. And since I haven't really learned my lesson I keep toying with the idea of signing up for NaBloPoMo for November. The theme is "Blogging for Blogging's Sake." Somehow I think for me to really blog for blogging's sake I need to not commit to doing it every day. We'll see.

I'm completely inspired to minimize and organize our stuff. Glenn and and I are both so much happier in an organized and uncluttered environment, but achieving that ideal has been hard for us. I know it would be helpful for Beanie, too. Anyone do Flylady? I'm thinking of trying that.

What else? I have lots on my mind, but I'll leave my blog ramble at this for today....

Sunday Surf: 09/18

Well, obviously it was a big fat fail at the blogging every day this month thing. Oh well. I'm not really worried about it as it's been a pretty crazy week here and, well, life got in the way of blogging.

• You're Stupid Mommy! Go Away! You're Yucky! Ah, yes, we've been going through a "You're a bad mommy," stage here so this article was quite helpful.
• Waking Up Full of Awesome I'm trying hard to remember I'm full of awesome, are you?
• Do inspiring blogs make you feel bad about yourself? I'm glad a friend shared this in her Sunday Surf today. I remember chatting in the #ppdchat about how some of us felt the need to step away from reading blogs for awhile. Reminder: No one is perfect. Not you. Not me. Not that blogger who does awesome crafts with their children every day of the week as has home-cooked, baked-from-scratch meals three times a day. Don't forget it.

Happy Surfing!