I finally called my midwife to get a recommendation for a counselor. I know, I know...I said I was going to do this two weeks ago. But I didn't. The days passed. Things have been going a little better. I feel like I have a better handle on things. Some of the time. I talked with a friend who is going through some of the same things.
There's no shame in reaching out for some help. Sure, I could've done it earlier. I also know better today than tomorrow.
My midwife just called back and they have a list of counselors in the area. I figured that would be a better option than throwing a dart and picking one of the long list my insurance has. I chatted with my midwife and it felt good. I think it will really help to be able to go and talk with someone about all the stuff that's going on.
I haven't shied away from getting help (either psychological or pharmacological) in the past and there's no reason I should now. I would prefer to avoid pharmaceutical medications now and I think seeking help from a counselor is a great first step. I also want to start exercising again. I really need to walk my talk; here I am with a research background in the anti-depressant effects of exercise and doing nothing about it. But, if there's one thing I know about depression, it's the starting to do something about it that's the most important part.
And, one year ago today we found out we were having a baby boy. Seems like eons ago.