Well, here I am. Everyone is asleep again and I had so many plans for the evening. Fold laundry? Drink a vodka cran? Get on the Wii fit? Re-read Gone with the Wind (or at least start)? Message my friends? Clean? Yet here I am. Blogging. And I don't even have a vodka cran to my left. I have been depressed, anxious, crabby, you name it. Beanie is testing my patience. I have little patience left it seems. Glenn is getting on my nerves. At times our relationship seems to be better than ever and other times I just feel like he isn't hearing me, listening to me, whatever. Like today when I asked Are you putting the cabinet back up above the fridge or do I need to find a new home for the cookbooks? and his answer was Yes. Yes to what? Then he got all mad that I wasn't listening. Ummm...you can't answer an either/or question with yes. It isn't an answer for crying out loud. And, for the record, he meant yes he was putting the cabinet back above the fridge. Anyways its just little things, but all these little things seem to be piling up on me. So, yea, maybe I should have a vodka cran to my left???
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Beanie has been going down for bed in her own bed each night. We are still cosleeping. I go into her room after I wind down and am ready for bed. I have a feeling that in the next few days I'll be starting off the night in the master with Glenn. Will be nice. She is seemingly ready. Nurses to sleep and then hasn't been waking again to nurse until about 4 or 4:30am. Who knows how it will go when I'm not sleeping next to her, but I am ready to find out.
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I feel like I'm living in someone else's home. There, I said it. I'm not happy here right now. That's right, I am unhappy in my nice shiny new home. I feel (know) that things will get better. Right now I am stressed because there are still boxes to be sorted through, there are rooms to be painted, I can't find the peanut butter in the kitchen cabinets or the deoderant in the bathroom, the stupid hot water in the bathroom trickles out and it takes 20minutes+ to get enough water to cover Beanie's belly button for a bath. Every room is brown, or so it seems they will be. We bought way too much paint for the living room and exercise room so now our brown is everywhere. I think I'm going to head out and buy a gallon of yellow paint for the playroom. I just can't have more brown!! I am mad that the sellers didn't complete all the work they said they would. I am more mad at myself for signing the papers before the work was completed (and letting our realtor "take their word for it" that they would finish everything). I am mad at the way our realtor handled things. But, you know what, hindsight is 20/20. I've already had at least 4 people ask if I'd recommend our realtor and the answer has always been a resounding no. I am trying to develop a plan to make things better here. They start with me getting off my butt and taking care of things. I think I'll start tomorrow. Really.
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Glenn went out and did some forms in the backyard today. He said he forgot parts of them. Glenn forgot! I know I've forgotten which makes me even more nervous to train again. I know its just the backyard, but still. I guess you have to start somewhere. I think it rattled Glenn to have forgotten some. He is an amazing martial artist though (seriously, you should see him!) so I know he'll remember quickly. I just hope its the same for me. (And Bri, I've started writing the kung fu post for you -- it'll just take awhile to get it all written)
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My iPod seems to be working! Its a miracle, at least the kind I believe in....haha! I am listening to it right now. See we've had about 5 computers that we've purchased and uploaded music on. Seems like we could never get them all to play/transfer/etc once we had the new desktop. I finally got it fixed so all my music was on the external hard drive and would play on the computer, but the last time I checked it wouldn't all play on the actual iPod. Well, I charged it up the other day and started tinkering with it today and waaalaa it seems to be working. Hmmm....
I am so happy because I really miss listening to lots and lots of music!
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Beanie's 2nd bday is in less than 3 weeks. I can't believe it. She's going to be 2!! I'm having a playdate with her friends and the house and then a family BBQ on her actual bday. Cross your fingers for good weather for the playdate because the playroom would be a little (okay, a lot) cramped with a bunch of toddlers running around! But, I always work better with a goal in mind so I'm happy we're having people over...the house has to be done in 3 weeks, right???
Have a good evening everyone!
Me and my hubby are the same...it is just plain ole hard sometimes - especially if there is any big stressors (moving, unpacking, remodeling, etc.). It is hard to feel sane when it is going on...
ReplyDeleteI am excited to hear about the parties - it is good to have a goal. :)
Yay! A post for me - I have been very curious as this is a part about you that I never knew existed. Obviously, a lot has changed in the past 10 years but that is a big one.
I've been bickering with my husband too, so I can' only imagine it's harder for you guys with the move right now. I think sometimes parenting a toddler just eats up all of our patience, so our spouses are just out of luck, even if they commit only a minor infraction. :-) And I'm sorry you don't feel "at home" right now, but it takes a while, especially when things are still in boxes, other things don't feel like they've found a permanent home, etc. Hopefully things will start falling into place (even if it's brown - LOL) soon!
ReplyDeleteGood post, it's always nice to hear other people are having similar problems, not be cause misery enjoys company but because it makes ME feel like.....Yes, I'm not doing this alone, others are going through this too! I understand and am going though a lot of similar things. I would think your mommy group would be a great break from things and the iPod too! Hang in there chick your not alone and thanks for a honest and candid blog! It was refreshing!
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