You know when you're little and you have that best friend that you tell everything to? Why is it so hard to find someone like that when you're older? Is it because you're more guarded because of past experiences? Because you have a more developed self and don't click as easily with people? Or is it just me?
I've met quite a few people in my mom's groups and get along quite well with some of them. It's easier when they also have kiddos Beanie's age, but that's not a prerequisite. But I have yet to find someone I feel like I could tell all my secrets to. Honestly, I'm closer with some of my online mommy friends than ones I've met in real life. So, am I weird? What's the deal? Why is it so hard for me, as a 30-ish Mama, to make new friends?
I admit I've always been more guarded with gals than guys. When I was younger I always had more male friends than females. And I've always opened up to guys more easily. Not that I won't talk my head off to just about anyone, but you know. I admit than in my teenage years I often felt betrayed or stabbed in the back by my girl friends. Not all the of them, of course, but a few bad experiences gave me a bad taste about best friends.
But, now as a mama, it is much easier to be friends with gals. Its not like guys are going to understand most of what goes on in my head.
Maybe the sort of friendships you have in elementary school and junior high just don't exist in older age. Maybe I need to put myself out there more? I've tried to become more active in various mom's groups in order to meet a wider range of people. And I do have a few people I consider good friends, or who have crossed the line from online mommy friend to I-would-kick-it-with-you-anytime mommy friend.
I don't know. What do you think? It's something I've been pondering lately.
I think it gets easier the more kids you have and the older they get. And that might be just because you're exposed to more mommies. I don't know. I finally, though, have found a friend IRL that I really trust and care about, and that hasn't happened to me in over 10 years! So just keep looking--they're out there!
ReplyDeleteYou can tell me anything sissy! I know a sissy-best friend is different than a friend-best friend but you still got me! =)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I could've written your post. I completely get what you're saying. There's a level of depth and trust in those childhood friendships that is so extremely hard to find in adulthood. And unfortunately I think there's a reason sometimes it's easier to hang out with males - they don't feel the need to gossip about every little detail of each other's lives. I might be betraying my own gender in saying that, but it's something about other women that makes me crazy and unwilling to trust. Anyways, not trying to go on and on, but I really completely understood your post.
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