Mail.

Seemingly everyone except for me knows the saying for the United States Postal Service. It goes something like this...

Through wind and rain, snow and sleet....

I say everyone because everyone I tell that we've only gotten mail once in the last week starts reciting this slogan. Granted, we have gotten a lot of snow. Eight-and-a-half inches last Thursday, 5 inches on Saturday, 10 inches overnight Saturday into Sunday, and a few inches on both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. But we don't have 30+ inches of snow on the ground, it has warmed up a bit in between snows. I've seen small front wheel drive cars make it up the hill out of our condo (some of them with the help of Glenn's shovel). So, come on US Postal Service...its Christmas week! Make a little extra effort. For god's sake park and the top of our little hill and walk the damn mail down (I saw UPS drivers doing this on the news).

My mother-in-law is bugging me daily to know if we've gotten our package yet. No, we still haven't gotten any mail. My Christmas card collection on the closet door is a little bare, but I'm sure a ton will show up whenever the mailman finally decides he might be able to make it down our little hill.

Anyway, I'm just a bit disappointed and sort of glad I never knew the USPS slogan because obviously it doesn't hold true.

She bit me!

Ugh, Beanie bit me! Not on accident while nursing, but outright I-am-mad bit me! She was reaching over to turn off the computer (one thing I hate about the desktop is that we have the tower or whatever-you-call-it on the floor) and I told her no and picked her up. Little stinker leaned over and bit my hand that was holding her! She has never been a biter, and I hope this isn't the start of it.

******

Her canine teeth are coming in and she is just cranky as hell. The other night we went to my aunt and uncle's for dinner and she had the biggest meltdown I have ever witnessed. It was ridiculous. She also wants to nurse a ton and it is driving me a bit mad. I know her teeth hurt and we are hold up in the house because of the weather, but yesterday she wanted to nurse nonstop! Usually she can be distracted if I know she isn't really hungry and just wants to nurse because she's bored, but lately there's been no dissuading her. I'm not ready to wean her yet (and obviously she has no intention of self-weaning any time soon), but I would like for her to go back to somewhat of a schedule. I'm tossing around the idea of starting to give her cow's milk too. I'm sure she won't take to it much in the beginning, but it might be good for her to have some while I'm at work. I don't know, I keep going back and forth on it.

******

I can't believe xmas is less than a week away. Holy moly! I need to get around to perfecting the house as everyone is coming over to celebrate here. I've kind of let my daily cleaning ritual fall by the wayside since the house isn't on the market anymore. I'd better get back into it though; if Glenn gets a job lined up for after he's laid off we'd like to put our house back on the market as soon as possible.

SNOW!

Oh man, we got about 8 1/2 inches of snow today. That is ALOT for around here!! Basically shut everything. Luckily Glenn got home from downtown just before they shut down the highway by our house. Parts of all the major interstates have been shut down also. Crazy!


***Holy cow! I just looked outside and its snowing AGAIN***

Anyway, I know I usually don't post too many pics on here (mostly bc it is a public blog and I keep a private one for that...if I know you and you don't have access just let me know) but I thought I'd share some pics of our snow :)

This morning, before all the snow had fallen




Glenn's car, which has sat idle for the last week or so as he's been driving the RAV4

Its C-O-L-D!!!

Yes, I am aware that it gets much colder in other parts of the country but I am freezing my tail off! Yesterday we had the heat turned up quite high, a fire in the fireplace and I was still shivering! Beanie's hands are even more icicle-ish than usual. And now they are calling for more snow tomorrow, again on the weekend, and saying that the cold could stick around past Christmas. Brrrrr!!

Time to break out some hot cocoa and marshmallows I think!

Blogs I read and love

Check it out. I put some links to blogs I regularly read on the left toolbar. The toolbar? Is that what its called? I don't know...anyways, check them out :)

Bye bye laptop

I did it. I finally set up the desktop computer. Its just going to have to do because the laptop seems to have officially crapped out. It will be harder to get online, not in the actual sense, but because my online time usually is in the evenings after both Glenn and Beanie have gone to bed. Well, now the computer is in the master bedroom which isn't exactly conducive for me wasting hours on end at night. Maybe this is for the better? I keep saying I should start reading at night, so maybe now I actually will.

Beanie loves dogs. LOVES. We just got back from my aunt and uncle's house and my cousin had just arrived home from college with her chocolate lab. As soon as the lab came in the house Beanie's eyes lit up and she had the hugest grin ever. My cousin, Glenn, Beanie and the dog went outside to play with a tennis ball. Oh my goodness, you could hear shrieks of delight and laughter all the way in the house. She was having so much fun. I wish I had my camera with me because there was just no way you couldn't smile ear to ear watching how much fun she was having.

I guess we know what's on Beanie's list. Too bad we don't have a yard yet, otherwise I think Santa might be bringing a dog for Christmas.

And in regards to my previous blog

The weird icon thingy is gone. Now I am sure I am going marbles. What the heck?

You know you woke up early...

...when I turned on the TV so Beanie could watch it a bit while I enjoyed a much needed cup of coffee and Nick at Nite was on. Ugh! So much for sleeping in today. As if I really ever sleep in, but I was looking forward to sleeping in until closer to 7am at least.

The laptop is crashing willy nilly again so my apologies if I can't post. I'd like to throw this thing on the roof!!

What the heck?

How did my blog get some fancy pants little icon? Hmmm....I have all the blogs I follow saved in my favorites. They all have the little Blogger "B" to the left of them in my list. Well, all of the sudden tonight my blog has a fancy pants red icon-y thing next to it. How did that happen? What is going on? I've seen other people have different ones for their blogs, but I assumed it was something you had to do yourself, or have some advanced blog know-how to do. So, what the heck? Does anyone else see this, or am I nuts?

*** okay, totally weird...when I go to my blog through a link from another site I still see the Blogger "b." What is wrong with my computer? Is it possessed? Hmmm, considering the history of this computer it wouldn't completely surprise me. Someone please tell me what is going on! LOL.

Down.

I'm pretty down in the dumps and not much in the mood for writing so this'll likely be quite short. I have to go to training tomorrow morning for work, so my sis is on her way over so she can watch Beanie in the morning until Glenn gets home from work. While I kind of like getting out of the house and having "adult" time every once in awhile, I am really hating my schedule. Seems like I work every one of Glenn's nights off. It really sucks. I guess its just what we have to do right now, but Glenn seems all out of sorts about it as well. All snappy, bummed out, thinking he has to be Superman and do everything. Why not just ask for help if you want/need it? I feel like if I'm working one day and we just have a little bit of family time its better spent together than worrying about whether or not the carpet has been vacuumed. Not that I have that excuse for today, I'm just saying....

Ah, what does Scarlett O'Hara say? After all, tomorrow is another day!

Parental quirks.

Glenn always pokes fun at me because I still cut Beanie's food into really small pieces. Hey, seeing as how the kiddo jams three or four (or a handful) of pieces in her mouth at once I figure the smaller the better. I logically know she doesn't need them cut up so small anymore, but it makes me feel better as I watch her eating habits. So the other day Beanie and I were eating tortilla chips. I know, not the healthiest but she does get them once in a while. Well, come to find out Glenn breaks off the corners of any chips or crackers he gives her. I guess that's his quirk. I know tortilla chips can poke the heck out of your gums (they do mine sometimes), but I'm usually not in the habit of breaking off the corners for her. I told him he can stop giving me a hard time about cutting up her food and I won't mention breaking corners off crackers. Deal made.

Sleepy.

Lol, I'm so sleepy I just published this post without entering any text. Oops. Let's try this again....

Its been a long day. Beanie had an incredibly hard time falling, and staying, asleep last night. I woke up just before 4am for work and worked only my second eight hour shift in 18 months. She didn't nap until I got home from work and then napped for a good 2 1/2 hours (maybe because she got up at 4 and wouldn't really go back to bed for daddy?). Its 7:30, the time when she would usually be winding down to go to bed. She doesn't seem ready to wind down at all. She is signing she wants to nurse though, so maybe I'll give it a go and nurse her in the glider. Wish me luck!

The house is off the market

But not because we sold it :(

Due to some uncertainty with Glenn's job future (which I really can't go into much on here, let's just say lots of rumors of route cuts) we don't feel that we can move forward with selling the house right now. The worst thing that could happen would be getting an offer, making an offer on a new place, and Glenn losing his job while we were in escrow. So, its temporarily off the market. I am pretty bummed about it, but I do know its for the best right now. We can always move forward in the future, and are trying to find ways to maintain pre-approval for our loan.

This same uncertainty is the reason I am back at work. We had decided to give it a go without me working, but now it seems to be a necessity to have a second income. And, you know what, its not half as bad as I thought it would be. Glenn is watching Beanie while I'm gone and, I think, they are having fun most of the time. And perhaps he is realizing just how difficult it is to get things done sometimes. Especially with a seventeen month old attached to your leg, lol!

So I'm trying to stay in the routine of having a nice, beautifully clean house but its a little harder to stay as motivated when people aren't going to be coming through, looking and (hopefully) making offers to buy it. I have realized that I really like having an uber tidy house though and I'm wondering if we really need all that junk we had to put in storage to stage the house.

Let's get this show on the road!

Well, last month I had set out to see if I could blog each day. Obviously I didn't make it too far so
I'm going to try again here in December. I've got enough on my mind lately that it shouldn't be a problem finding something to blog about each day! So, let's go :)

First off, a bit of fluff and then later I'll try to get around to updating about everything...

I've always known I've had an uncanny ability for remembering numbers. When I was the dairy manager I remembered UPCs and order numbers like no tomorrow. Sort of weird, maybe, but it sure made ordering go fast. Well, last Saturday I had my first shift cashiering in over a year. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) I remembered almost all the produce codes, and even some of the "weirder" ones like bundles of firewood. I assume my awesome memory will make cashier training a little more than boring this Saturday, but, hey, it'll be an easy eight hours of pay. But then it got me to thinking, just how much knowledge is my brain unable to hang onto because I have hundreds of grocery codes stuck in my head? Logically I know we use a miniscule amount of our actual brain capacity so I'm not really worried about it, but it funny to think about.

On Wednesday I am scheduled to do receiving so we'll see just how much my brain remembers of that! I am looking forward to it, but not looking forward to getting up at 4am, or unloading the truck with the forklift. I think I'm going to have to practice my driving skills before the driver gets there.

Where oh where has my little blog gone??

Oh dear, its been just about forever since I've blogged. Sorry! I suck. Our piece-of-crap Toshiba laptop crashed again. I will never, ever buy a Toshiba computer again. It crashed just over a month after Glenn purchased it. Took it in to be repaired by a Toshiba technician at a local shop. Worked...for awhile. Crashed three months later. Glenn was so pissed he packed it up and put it in the back of the closet. Fast forward to a few months ago when we put the desktop in storage to stage the house and needed (wanted) the laptop. Got it fixed again, this time under our own expense. It has started doing the exact same thing that happened before it died the last two times. Sometimes it won't start at all, other times it reboots over and over and over, and other times you are working on the computer (did I say working? dorking around maybe!) and suddenly it crashes. Needless to say, its a bit frustrating. For the time being it has been starting up and working just fine. *knock on wood*

Much has occurred since I have updated here. I'll try and get this blog up to speed over the next week or so. So, sorry again! Hope you're still here!

Real Estate Pics Take III

These two pics just make me feel like I'll have a lot of painting to do!





But, by far, the best part is that the house has a pool. In the realtor's description it says Don't want a pool? They're not expensive to fill. I'm not kidding. Let me go grab a shovel.

******

I'll hopefully be back to regular blogging soon. Our water heater broke and we had to replace it. I've been sick. Not the best excuses, but that's all I've got ;)

Trader Joes is impulse shopping central!

We headed to Trader Joes today because we needed an orchid for the master bathroom. I use the term "need" lightly; we definitely don't "need" it but since we are trying to sell the house it does add a nice touch to the bathroom. There were a few other things I wanted to pick up -- naan, nuts, some healthier snacks to stock my cupboard with. We ended up spending about 60 bucks and darn near everything we got was just snacky stuff, which I should mention I am trying to stay away from at the moment. Ugh! At least we remembered the orchid ;).

Short and sweet

Well, I'm feeling a bit under the weather today and not up for much blogging, but I have to post something or my streak will be broken again! I'm feeling quite blah & Beanie was asleep by 6:15 this evening (and I fought to keep her up that long!) so I'm thinking I'd better head to bed soon myself.

I've been "writing" all sorts of blogs in my head. Does anyone else do that? I'll be sitting around thinking about something and then I think I should blog about it. So, they're coming, they're just all in my head. haha

Streak broken

Well, I was trying to see how many days straight I could go blogging. Three I guess. I will try for more now since the last couple days.

******

Another streak was broken; we've had two showings of the house in the last two days. Woohoo! Yesterday we actually had a realtor call from just outside the house as she thought our house was vacant. Ack!! Good thing I've been on top of my game with cleaning lately, I picked up a few things, put socks & shoes on Beanie and jammed out the front door. Crisis averted. We were supposed to have another showing later yesterday evening but they ended up not coming by. They may come by on Sunday. I'm feeling more optimistic, like we're on a roll again.

******

Speaking of optimism, I am so happy that Obama is going to be our next president!!! The future looks bright!

Beanie has her appt with the pediatric dermatologist today

I'm pretty sure they are going to confirm what Glenn and I have been thinking for the last few months. When we went to the dermatologist six months ago they weren't sure if the birthmark on her arm was a hemangioma or a lymphatic malformation. Due to things we have noticed over the last six months I am pretty sure it is a lymphatic malformation, which means it won't just go away on its own. I think they just leave them be, but we'll see at her appointment.

***update*** copied and pasted from PO for you gals that are there too :)

What an ordeal, let me tell you! Our appointment was at 9:30. We got there a couple minutes early. They didn't take us back to the exam room until a good 35-40 minutes later. The medical asst asked what we were there for & I said "a follow up to check on her hemangioma or lymphatic malformation or whatever it is. They weren't sure last time." In the snottiest voice ever she says "Its a hemangioma." We sat in there forever waiting for the doctor, by which time Beanie was having a major meltdown and I was getting really mad. Just when I was about to leave the exam room and tell them we'd just reschedule the doctor came in. Sorry, she said, its been one of those Monday mornings . I replied that Beanies's patience was exhausted (I should've added mine was too.) The doc takes about two seconds to look at Beanies's arm and listens to what I say DH and I had been noticing over the last few months, that is feels warm to the touch (sometimes downright hot), that it seems to fluctuate in size, and that it is sometimes firmer than usual. The doc says "yep, its a lymphatic malformation" and proceeds to close up her chart like she was all done and let's go. So I started asking some questions. The lymphatic malformations do not go away on their own so I was wanting to know what the course of action would be. She answered them, but wasn't even looking at me (was she looking at the clock past me?? Its not my fault she was over an hour behind by her 2nd or 3rd appt of the day!!). Basically, they don't usually recommend doing anything unless the malformation becomes problematic in some way. It may even diminish in appearance as Beanie grows. It is hardly noticeable now. We have to watch it if she bumps it bc, since it involves the lymph system, the risk of infection is higher. If, as she gets older, it repeatedly gets bumped or causes other problems then they would recommend trying to remove it. Anyways, she said to come back in two years. By that time we'll have moved (hopefully!) and will likely see someone else, which is good because, after today, I didn't plan on going back there anyway. For now we just have to watch it, especially if it gets bumped or anything like that.

Real Estate Pics II

As Kristin asked, these are all listed on the MLS. The pics from this blog and the last one are from houses that meet my search criteria as well. Well, at least the website thinks they meet my search criteria, they definitely aren't anything we'll be going to look at.

Eeew! I'm willing to bet this house is bank-owned. I especially like the hangers on the carpet.





This one isn't as horribly bad, it just reminds me of a jail. I think they probably could've found a better angle to get this shot from.

Its this time of year...

...that my intense hatred for pharmaceutical TV ads takes second place to something even more evil -- political ads. I am so ready for the nonstop barrage of political ads to be over with. With an exciting presidential race, a hotly contested governer's race and a Senate rematch I am on political ad overload. And, I swear, they keep getting stupider and stupider (at the risk of sounding, um, stupid, is "stupider" even a word?). Anyway, I have been looking high and low on youtube to share with you the worst of the worst, but I can't find it so I will attempt to explain....

It is an ad against our current governer, Chris Gregoire, ran by her opponent, Dino Rossi. The ad compares Gregoire to a baby who is crawling around in a diaper. Then the ad says the baby has "baggage" and, as the baby is being passed around from person to person you see them scrunching their noses as if the baby has a big poopy diaper. They keep passing the baby around, commenting on the "baggage" and how we need "a change." I am sure the people who develop these ads are paid a nice amount of money so you'd think they could come up with something better than a baby crawling around with a poopy diaper and calling the poop "baggage." Clever? Maybe a little, I'll give it that, but why doesn't Dino Rossi talk about himself or his positions, rather than compare his opponent to a poop-filled diaper?

Ah, only two more days and I can see a boat load of pharmaceutical ads again. I think the only people who have more money than pharmaceutical companies to spend (and waste) on advertising are politicians.

I'm hoping for some showings this weekend.

That would be nice! Except for the fact that I've been sitting around lazily all morning instead of tidying the house up. And now I'm blogging. I'd better get my butt in gear!

Cross your fingers for some showings for our condo this weekend.

We talked...

...and I feel better :)

Been having a tough time lately...

Might as well just fess up. Things have been rough & nothing seems to be going right. The only good thing that has been happening is that Beanie is sleeping better. Well, except for last night. She was up at 9:00, 12:15, 2:45 (for an hour!), 4:45 and somewhere around 6 or so. I know her molars are bothering her (the bottom ones are finally coming through!!) and I do feel bad for her, but I really was getting used to the long stretches of sleep.

Anyways, I am SO nervous about the house. I want it to sell and us to move. Granted, we are in a good position where we don't have to move, but that doesn't change how much I want to. After having a dozen showings in the first two weeks on the market, we haven't gotten one call in two weeks. I'm sure its not our specific house, but rather the general bad news and hohum about the economy that is affecting our showings. But still....it sucks!

Glenn doesn't want to talk about work, or much else either it seems. I am starving for some adult conversation! He doesn't seem to want to do anything as a family. Um, how can he not be excited to go trick or treating??? lol. I am looking forward to it, but seems like he'd rather not. Last night he went to bed early, saying there wasn't anything to do and he didn't want to watch TV. Um, how about hang out with your wife and daughter? I guess that's "nothing."

Well, I'll look on the bright side; we are meeting some friends tonight to go trick or treating at the mall and, whether or not Glenn thinks its going to be fun, I am excited. I just hope this darn rain stops as it is an outdoor mall!

So, confession...I am feeling pretty crappy! I don't have much motivation to do anything and would really like to have some happier times as a family. I know part of it is the time of year and part of it is that I'm not doing the things I know would make me feel better. I can't change how other people relate to me, but I can change how I act. So, that is my first step. Wish me luck :)

"Just pretend I'm a secret government spy..."

"...and can't talk about my job." That's what Glenn told me the other day. He has been very unhappy since being transferred a few months back. Well, truth be told, he hasn't enjoyed his job much at all, but it has gotten a lot worse since he was transferred. But, I'm a girl (obviously) and girls like to talk, even if its about the mundane nothingness that happens every day. Even about the crappy stuff. That's how women (at least me) deal. We talk. So, it is very hard for me to pretend Glenn is a super secret spy and can't discuss his job, no matter how much he hates it.

A few weeks ago we found out that he was going to be placed on a new route in November. I have been hoping that this route would be better and help him find at least some happiness in slinging bread. But, no such luck. Today he ran the route with the guy who had been running it previously. When he came home he told me that one of his stops is the hospital and he shares a loading dock with the medical examiner so the other driver told him "not to be surprised if there's a dead body on the dock." Eeeeww!! He then asked if I remembered when he first got transferred and one of the other drivers was telling him how he saw some pimp beating up one of his hoes (sorry for the frankness, but those were the other driver's exact words) while he working. Glenn had joked that he was glad that wasn't his route. Well, now it is. Crap. I guess this isn't going to work out to be the great opportunity I was hoping. I just want to cry, and I'm pretty sure Glenn feels the same way.

Happy to report...

...that Beanie seems to have settled into a groove of sleeping between six and eight hours before waking to nurse, which means more sleep for Mommy too. Yay! I really, really hope I didn't just jinx myself for a good night's sleep tonight!

A few months back my SIL asked me how I got Beanie to sleep through the night (she was telling me how she gave her son sugar water or Pedialyte or something before bed so he would STTN). I replied that she didn't, but she would someday. Just like everyone does someday.

I was looking for some information about night weaning on kellymom last night (not sure when I plan to try that, maybe sometime after 18months but we'll see) and I found this article on nursing to sleep and comfort nursing....

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html

I was so glad to read it, as it pretty much sums up how I feel about comfort nursing.

In a market like this...

...you'd think people would take a little more care when taking pictures of their home for sale.

What a spacious room *snort* So spacious they had to take the doors off the closet to cram the bed in it.



I wonder what this room is, and if the weight bench comes with the house.



Horribly out of focus, but you can still see a bunch of crap.



Sigh, I think I'll pass on checking out this house. I might have to make this a regular feature on my blog...

I'm so sleepy!

Its dark, cool, and I'm ready for bed. Really, how sad is it that it is 8:30 on a Thursday and I am beat. Unfortunately these dark fall and winter days seem to do that to me. But tonight I have to stay awake!! Its Thursday and I can't miss The Office. Darn, I wish I would've gotten a nap today, but I had way more fun hanging out with Marianne & Jun.

Sorry I've been absent lately. Its been busy around here, but I'm sure I'll get back into regular (or at least semi-regular) blogging again soon.

Red.

If you remember, the other day I was talking about the personality survey I had to fill out when completing my online application to go back to work. Well, it did come back as "red," which means I am the type of person they warn you not to hire. Please. Apparently my score was so red that they usually toss the applications of those like me.

Here is what the survey said about me:

Customer Service Assessment--

Candidates are more likely to:
-Show anger and frustration
-Argue with customers
-Criticize or make rude comments
-Be unwilling to help with difficulties
-Avoid serving some types of customers

Dependability Assessment--

Candidates are likely to:
-Make poor decisions, make mistakes, and have accidents
-Go back on promises and commitments
-Take risks and make impulsive decisions
-Have messy habits and perform sloppy work
-Show anger, criticize others and hold grudges
-Reject organizational values
-Act irresponsibly
-Break rules and not conform to set standards
-Goof off and possess immature attitudes towards work

Oh my goodness, that is soooo not me. Obviously the survey does not have predictive validity. But, oh it just makes me so mad! I never had complaints about my customer service, I was the top dairy manger in my district (and in the company for a few periods, othewise I was #2), I was meticulously organized, and (I think) a good employee. Sure, I didn't like my job much but that did not affect my performance. I followed the rules; I jumped through the hoops; I went to work, did my job, and came home.

Anyways, ever since I got my employment packet and saw this score I've been pretty peeved. What other hard working, good natured employees have they turned away because of this obviously invalid survey? Seriously, it was an improperly formed Likert scale survery. Your options were strongly disagree, disagree, agree, and strongly agree. Notice anything missing? Yes, the neutral choice. Naturally they don't want people to just pick "neutral" for everything, but in some instances people really are neutral to a statement. And, their control questions were transparent. You know, a good control question would want to find out the same thing about you, but ask it in a different way. For example, if I wanted to know if you liked the outdoors I might ask "You like nature" and later ask "You would rather spend your day indoors than outdoors." But, this survey asked the SAME EXACT question, maybe with one word changed. Ridiculous.

I have been so conflicted about going back to work, especially to this particular job and now I am even more so. Some other things have come up where I might not have to work as much, but honestly I'd rather work twice as much for half as much pay than go back to my old job.

Now I am even more conflicted about it all. I am sure I will write more about this later, but for now I must go....

Fickle is the toddler eater

Yesterday I gave Beanie a banana. When we first introduced solids she loved banana, but not so much lately. In fact, she has pretty much refused banana for the last few months. So much so that I just stopped buying them. I was making a lot of banana bread! Well, yesterday I just broke off a piece of my banana and she gobbled it up like it was the best thing ever. She kept signing "more" "more" "more" so Glenn ended up having a banana and giving her some too. So this morning I figured a banana would be the perfect compliment to her waffle and yogurt. She looked at me like I was crazy. She didn't want anything to do with it.

Sigh. I guess we'll try again tomorrow.

Its a beautiful day!!

It is a gorgeous fall day today. Crisp, cold, but sunny. As I sat on the couch this morning I thought Boy, it would be an awesome day to have people come and look at the condo. The mountains were in full view, the sun was shining, the natual light was filling our condo. It was THE perfect day. And, you know what? We got calls for two showings today! I am hopeful they went well. We have another showing scheduled for tomorrow so I am hoping for more beautiful fall weather.

******

Unfortunately, the day started in somewhat of a daze. As I said previously, all of us are feeling a bit under the weather. Beanie went to bed early last night and so did I. But she woke up just a bit before midnight and was up until almost 3:30! Too much for this tired mommy to handle. She finally fell asleep by throwing herself down the bed, over my knees, and conked out. I was able to move her up next to me and we slept until she woke up again at 5. Ack!! I was in tears. I was feeling sick, tired, and frustrated with Beanie. Most of all tired. We had just been up for almost 3 1/2 hours. What was she thinking? Poor girl. We got up, changed her diaper, gave her some Tylenol, called Glenn in tears (so much he could barely understand me), and then I nursed her and, luckily, she fell asleep. We slept until almost nine this morning. I was really hoping for a nap with her this afternoon, but we had to make due with a car nap for her and no nap for me. That's what having a house for sale will do to you, I guess. Glenn was hoping for a nap too, but both of us agreed we'd rather have the condo be shown than have a nap.

I was really bummed though because Beanie and I were supposed to go on a walk for Out of the Darkness with my sister. She did a 20 mile overnight walk for their cause a few months ago, and we were all going to head out for a 3 mile walk this morning. Out of the Darkness helps raise awareness for suicide prevention. A quite worthy cause. But, I had to text her at 7 this morning when I realized there was no way Beanie and I were going to make it to the walk. Bummer.

******

Beanie is such a good helper these days. She likes to help load the dishwasher (okay, she thinks she's helping, but she's really just unloading as I load), with the laundry, and especially with dusting. Today she grabbed her Swiffer duster and exclaimed "dust!" She is such a smart girl.

******

Alright, off to make some dinner or something. I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer so my great idea of fajitas is slowly fading away. I might have to settle on leftovers or something boring, which I really don't want to do. We've had enough boring dinners this week. Between being pretty much broke this week & having evening (read dinner-time) showings on the condo, we've had a lot of bowls of cereal.

Tag I'm it!

One of my friends Brianne tagged me to play this blog game. So, I tell you six random things about myself and then I "tag" six other bloggers to do the same. All I'm thinking is, are there six people who I know that regularly read this blog???

Alrightie, my six random things...

1. I bite my nails incessantly.
2. I have a 3rd degree brown belt in kung fu.
3. I have basically no cartilidge left in either of my knees due to running long distances when I was younger.
4. I took ballet for eleven years.
5. When I met Glenn I hated him
6. He hated me too.

Okay bloggers, "tag! now you're it!" (okay, I am impatient tonight and having terrbiel difficulties linking all your blogs so I'm just calling you out...Jill, Kristin, Nacho, & Beverly you're it! If I think of two more, you're it too!)

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random facts about yourself.
4.Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

Hop on, we're going for a ride...

I'm doing the unthinkable. Or at least entertaining the idea. I'm going back to work. Financial things being the way they are, it is just a necessity. Honestly, I hate the idea. I wouldn't mind going back in a few months when Beanie has (hopefully) cut back a little more on nursing. That is my biggest issue with going back to work. That and I said I would never go back to my old job. My old boss gave me an offer I couldn't refuse though. So, now it just depends on what is going on with Glenn's job. There is still a lot up in the air right now with his work.

I filled out the online application and, boy, it made me remember all the stupid things I hated about my job before. The questions were downright odd & I'm sure I'm going to be pegged as some crazy person who hates working with the public. A big flashing DO NOT HIRE or something. The application and personality survery are, in essence, just a formality. My old boss said to come back and he will make it work for me. He'll basically do whatever I need. Awesome. Can't turn that down.

The survery asked things like Do you like making small talk with people? No, but I think I can handle "Hi, how are you? Paper or plastic? Thank you." You prefer working on a team rather than alone. Heck no. I always said if I ever went back to work in would be in a job where I could work in solitude and not have to work with the public AT ALL. Your stuff is usually tidy. My "stuff?" Exactly what stuff are they referring to? I was reading these aloud to Glenn as I was completing the survey and our minds both went into the gutter.

The stupid survey made me dislike the idea of going back to work even more. All the bureacratic bologna I had to deal with, the people, the boring job that made me feel like my mind was slowly disintegrating. But, you know what, I don't have to enjoy it, just like it a little. It would likely only be for a few days a week. And I enjoy my other job (mommy) enough that I can handle doing some mindless crap a couple days a week in order to bring in more money. Secretly, I am hoping the "up in the air" stuff at Glenn's job gets worked out pretty soon and maybe I won't have to go back right now anyways.

******

We've had four people come by to look at the condo. Pretty postive feedback overall. One couple commented that "they didn't like the family room, that it seemed to be the only room in the house not updated." We immediately became defensive. Do they know what it used to look like? Obviously they don't, but it (to us) is very noticeably updated. We had to laugh at ourselves afterwards because just the day before we had been commenting on a couple on a show on HGTV. It was one of those shows where they have open houses and they tape what the people are saying about the house. For one, these peoples' house was cluttered to heck, they had the weirdest, most ornate furniture I have ever seen, and they had a Xmas tree up. The problem was, it was springtime. Well, when the family saw the feedback from the people who came through the open house they were very defensive. "Well, its their problem they can't see past our stuff." Well, it was also the couple's problem considering their house had been on the market over eight months. But we did the same thing! How can they not see our living room is updated? What is wrong with them? We'll see what future feedback says, but I tend to think it was just that one couple's opinion.

It really is a roller coaster having the condo on the market. We were really bummed last Saturday when we hadn't gotten any calls to show the condo. Then on Sunday we had two calls. The second couple stood outside talking to their realtor for 45minutes. We were sure it was a good sign (as we were sitting up in the visitor parking above our place, you can only drive around for so long!). They wouldn't have anything to talk about if they didn't like the place, right? Maybe they were discussing making an offer? We found out the next day that they liked the condo but they hated the complex. Ugh! Nothing we can do about that. So, I guess it was just small talk after all. It is so exciting to have a showing, then we are pins and needles waiting for the feedback, and then here we go again. Currently we are still waiting for the feedback from the 4th showing. It is the first time it has taken more than 24 hours and I am anxious to know what they thought. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure they didn't like it as there were few footprints on the carpet. Before we really looked for them, I thought they hadn't even ventured into the living room.

******

Beanie is sick. I thought it was just her molars but today I am sure she has got a little something. She is so cranky, wants to be held all day and is nursing like a newborn. Poor girl. I hope she feels better soon. Actually she is quite needy at the present moment so I must go.

More later...

I'm lonely.

And it sucks. I haven't talked to most of my friends in ages. Okay, I've been busy...I know they're busy. I'm just feeling a little down today and seems like there's no one to talk to. So, I'll blog. Hubby has been in some sort of funk lately too, although when I ask him "what's wrong?" his answer is always "nothing." I don't buy it for one second.

******

We went out yesterday & today and drove around looking at houses. It is amazing what pictures can do for homes for sale. I've had this "dream home" that I've been watching. I have it saved to my favorites and check it almost every day to see if an offer is pending, etc. It is a beautiful house (judging by the pictures); the kitchen is updated, has wood floors, nice yard, etc etc. Well, we drove by it yesterday. It certainly didn't live up to its pictures. Granted, we only saw the outside, but I'm already disenchanted. And its about $20-40k more than other similarly-sized houses in the area. I guess it was a good wake up call. The pictures aren't what its all about. I was just so excited to see a house with a kitchen all pretty and nice. It is going to be hard to leave our nice updated house for one that pretty much looks like what our condo used to look like. Ah, such is life. I told Glenn if they could make that house look so great in its pictures that I can't wait to see what our condo looks like!

Today we did find a very nice house. We were just driving around again, looking at houses we had seen online. We drove up to one that had an immaculate yard and was on a quiet, dead end street in a cul-de-sac (bonus points for that!!). As we were leaving we noticed an older guy getting ready to put some signs up on the street corner. Score!! They were having an open house today. It was a nice house, a little small, but nice. It was very clean and well-kept. It was a bit outdated, but I just have to get over that. Gold light fixtures are easily replaced.

I am really excited to be in this phase of home selling/buying process. We want to look around a lot and get a better idea of what's out there because, if we're lucky, we're hoping to get an offer fast.

******

Speaking of moving, its funny how when your parents move away that they always want you to move where they are. Um, they moved away. Every time I talk to my dad on the phone he mentions how he's going to send me home listings in the Boise area. My in-laws always talk about how we should move to Georgia. And my mom & stepdad are always encouraging us to move to Montana. Before my inlaws moved to Georgia, they lived for a short while in Arizona. I distinctly remember them asking if we were coming home for the holidays. We are home. They're the ones that left. Its just funny, especially because it is the same with each of our parents.

******

I miss kung fu. I just thought I'd throw that out there. Its probably a topic worthy of a whole blog itself. The other day I was cleaning out the laundry room and I found Glenn's old kung fu notebook from when we were both getting ready to test for our black belts. I was thinking of how that was such a big part of our lives, and how now it is nonexistant. We'll never go back. I was thinking of all the forms and how much I miss doing them. Okay, I know I didn't have to stop doing them. For a long time I would do them in my head before I went to bed so I wouldn't forget them. I tried this awhile back and I always get to this one part of Kempo II and I have a mental block. I can't get past it. It frustrated the hell out of me. Anyways, I almost got teary looking at that old notebook and thinking about kung fu. I've thought of practicing a different style (muy thai has always looked interesting), but I just don't know. I liked our style. I don't want to learn a whole new system. I'll write more about this later and explain in more detail.

******

Alright, that's it for now. I still feel a bit lonely but it always feels good to write. Now I know why I so feverishly kept a journal when I was younger. I often think I should keep a journal again. Glenn got me a very nice leather-bound one a few years back, but I'll always write in it and then go for ages before I write again. In fact, the last time I wrote was right after we found out we were pregnant, so you know how long that's been. Blogging is fun, and expressive, but I definitely don't blog about things I might write in my own personal journal. Not yet at least.

The house.

The professional photographer came out yesterday to take the pics for the realtor. I was hoping we'd get copies of the pics, but Glenn reminded me he's a professional photographer and probably not in the habit of just giving his pics away. We'll have the fliers of course, but I really wanted some pics to showcase all the hard work Glenn has done. So, I took some of my own.

The master bedroom and bath





Living Room





Kitchen and dining area





Entry way



Guest bath





Beanie's room



Anyone interested in the market for a 2 bedroom condo?

Might as well get it all over with at once...

All four of Beanie's molars are coming in. I've been watching the bottom ones because it seems like she's been working on these molars forever. One night last week she was lying on the bed and laughing (or was it crying) and I noticed the top left molar had started to cut through. The top one! When all the while I'd been watching the bottom ones. A couple days later I noticed the other top one was starting to cut through as well. I am just waiting for those silly bottom ones to pop through, aren't they supposed to come first anyways? She has been horribly cranky today and more of the left top molar is coming through now. I swear these buggers have taken forever to come in! What excuse will I have for her crankiness after the molars are in?

The crib.

It is still in Beanie's room, unused and everything. Sure she has slept in it a few times. Mostly for naps. She has never slept an entire night in it; she hasn't slept in it at all for months. She plays in it sometimes while I'm tidying up her room. We've been staging the house, getting rid of tons of things we don't need or use, putting even more in storage. For some reason, hubby has an attachment to the crib. He doesn't want it to go. My idea was to take the crib out of her room and rearrange some of the other furniture (namely the glider) to make the room look more spacious. He wants to keep the crib. For what purpose I don't know. It would seem to me that trying to get her to sleep in her crib now is basically pointless. Should she sleep on her own sometime in the near future, I would imagine it would make more sense to have her in a toddler bed. Sure, the crib converts so we could use it that way. I don't know, I'm mostly trying to wrap my head around why we should keep it in her room. My dad wanted to buy the crib for us; he wanted to buy something that would really be used. He ended up buying the changing table as it was more expensive. He would be glad to know its gotten about 5,000 more uses out of it than the crib. I don't even know if we should keep the crib. Will we use it next time around? Right now I think I'd rather just have a CA King bed! Its funny how my thinking has evolved since we purchased the crib, and funny that it is so nice and shiny new even though we've had it for 15 months.

I can't believe I'm going to admit this...

...but as I was changing Beanie's diaper and getting her into her jammies I thought Darn, I missed I Love Money last night. Yes, I watch that horrible awful train wreck of a show. And I was a little excited that they are replaying it in a couple minutes. Who am I kidding, they probably replayed it 50 times already today. Anyways, I'm about to watch it.

******

A little update on our house situation. After a lot of thinking and number crunching we have decided that it is something we can make due with. Sure, its not the best possible outcome, but it is a good enough outcome that we can move on and upgrade to a larger house, which is what we both want. A few months ago I wrote a pair of blogs on my myspace page. The first was titled 10 reasons why I want to move now. The second was Ten reasons it wouldn't be so bad to stay here for awhile. Now that we're done with the remodeling, the reasons it would be nice to stay (although still valid) are heavily outweighed by all the reasons I want to leave. So, needless to say, I am quite glad we will be moving on sometime in the near (hopefully very near) future.

Okay, on to watch my trashy TV addiction....

I have a love/hate relationship with autumn.

Ugh. Its here. Autumn that is. It may not officially be fall on the calendar, but, trust me, it has struck with a vengeance. Isn't it enough that summer didn't really get started until mid- to late June? I remember Beanie was wearing sweaters in the middle of June. Now, seemingly as soon as September got here the weather cooled down and it is dark and dreary. I wake up and it is dark. That is probably the part I hate the most. I love waking up to a bright sunny day. It makes it so much easier to get up and go.

There are parts of Autumn I love -- the changing colors of the leaves, carving pumpkins, the brisk (but sunny) days. I would miss those things should I not be able to experience them, but I sure could do without this dark dreariness.

A past due blog

I haven't blogged about this previously, honestly I really don't know why it took me so long. I found out some very bad news when we were at my mom's in Montana. If we would've been at home, probably the first thing I would've done was sit down and write a blog. Since we weren't, I didn't. But I feel compelled to today, after reading through a post on my birth board.

Some of you may know that I post on a pregnancy board online. I check it every day and I consider everyone one there my friends, and a few on there I am very close with and wish we lived closer together. When I was at mom's I didn't have the chance to check in like I usually do, or post much at all. One morning (Sept 9) I popped online really quick to see what was up with my online family. I couldn't believe what I read. One of the little boys, just a week or so older than Beanie, had passed away. Slipped out the back door and drowned in the backyard pond. I just stared at the computer screen. I said "oh my god." Hubby overheard and asked what was wrong. I could barely speak. I clicked reply and sat there forever trying to figure out what exactly to type. What could I say? Nothing seemed right. I felt like someone had ripped my insides out and thrown them on the floor; I couldn't even begin to imagine what the mother was feeling. How could anything I would say be "right"? I posted my condolences and came back out to the living room (where everyone else was) and just sat, mostly speechless, still in shock.

I decided to write this this morning because last night I got online and the mom had posted that she saw a wonderful little trike at the store and how much she wanted to buy it, knowing how Reed would've liked it. The mom is amazingly strong. I cannot even fathom how she has so much strength at this time. Everything she posts is from the heart and full of truth. I'm not sure I could even visit the board should I be in a similar situation.

Putting myself in her shoes is something I never want to have to do. Hubby and I were going out to dinner the night I found out about Reed's death. To be honest, the last thing I wanted to do was leave Beanie with my mom and stepdad while we went out and celebrated. Hubby and I never really talked about the situation while we were in Montana, I felt like I needed to talk about it but, honestly, we weren't talking much at all on our trip. We talked when we got home and he told me how, even though he doesn't know the family, he is full of grief for them too. He couldn't imagine having to go through the death of your child. I don't think anyone can, or wants to.

This blog is no where near as eloquent as I hoped it would be. Reed was an amazing little guy. Though I only knew him through pictures and stories posted online, his sheer joy for life always shown through and its something I will never forget.

Last Saturday, a lot of the members of my birth board went out and blew bubbles in Reed's memory. Here are a few of our pics.







Rest in peace Reed. You are missed.

The Office

There aren't too many shows I will sit and watch with true enthusiasm. There are a few...The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, & The Office are about it. My sister came over the other day and made fun of me for having the premiere date of this season on The Office written on my calendar. Um, I wouldn't want to miss if or anything! I likened it to her writing the day her bus route changes on the calendar. She quickly scoffed at me. She would be late to work if she forgot when the park and ride was changing location and I would only miss a TV show. Only? We're talking about The Office here. I challenge that missing the season premiere of The Office would be almost as bad as being late for work.

I went out and bought Season 4 on DVD the day it came out. Hubby works fairly odd hours and is unable to watch it and we don't have DVR. I know, we're back in the dinosaur ages. I was so bummed when we forgot to bring Season 4 with us to Montana. At least there were a couple reruns on last Thursday. Unfortunately, Hubby said that the ads for the new season pretty much ruined the old one for him. He's wrong. He has no idea what happened last season (at least for the most part). The other night we watched the first DVD and you know what happened the very next day? Our Playstation 3 crapped out. Wouldn't be so bad, but the 360 crapped out a few weeks ago and, since we had the two of those, we packed away or donated our other DVD players. Ack!

Anyways, just a pretty random fluffy blog. Just something to cheer me up a little from the gloom and doom blog of yesterday. Any other Office addicts out there with me?

A brain fart of a blog

Whoa. Its been awhile since I've written. We've been busy working on the house, went away for vacation, and came back and worked on the house some more. Time to get caught up a little.

Just a warning, it has pretty much been a shit day so I apologize in advance for the likely depressing tone of this blog....

Let's see. The trip. The drive to Montana went much better than I expected. We only had to stop three times on the way there, and made it in abotu 10 hours. Not that much longer than it would've taken hubby and I by ourselves. Since my mom and stepdad live about 1/2 hour from anywhere there was a lot of driving in Montana too, and I think Beanie has had just about enough of car trips for quite a while.

We went to Glacier twice. It was beautiful, as always. We headed up to a part of the park we had never been. We loved it. Our only regret was we didn't have more time to spend in this more remote part of the park. We went up to Polebridge and to Bowman Lake. It was gorgeous and much less touristy and crowded than the Going to the Sun Road and Logan Pass.

Bugger. I was going to add some pics, but they are all on my other computer :(. We packed up the desktop when we staged the house, so I only have the laptop now. Poo. I'll have to see what I have on photobucket later.

We met with the realtor on Tuesday. He got back to us today. The price he is suggesting is not as much as we were hoping for. Not really close actually. I was so sad this morning I almost cried. We are crunching the numbers and seeing what we can do, but it definitely was a blow when we got the number. I wasn't too surprised given the recent sales nearby, but it doesn't make it suck any less. Poor hubby said "I guess I should've finished the house 5 months ago." I told him he can't think like that. He has been working his butt off and finishing 5 months ago would've been impossible. It is what it is. If we're going to go there I'll say "I wish brother-in-law (who used to own condo with hubby) should've agreed to our offer of buying him out when we gave it to him instead of farting around for 6+ months before agreeing to it." But, if you ask me, given the fact that he neglected to pay his portion of the mortgage for over 8 years I think he's damn freaking lucky he got anything. Ah, anyways. Not so happy as I hoped about this whole situation. Damn housing market. But, like I said, it is what it is. We can't look back and go through all these "what ifs" we just have to take what is in front of us now and go with that. That's all we have. Sure, we could stay here awhile. Neither of us really want to though. I want a house that is ours. This place has never really felt like ours, even though the two of us have lived here for over 9 years. For most of the time we rented the second room to one of our friends. Hubby always owned it with his brother until we refinanced last year. It never was ours, not until now when we've done all this work on it just to sell. A bit ironic, isn't it?

The other crappy thing that happened today was that some crazy receiving clerk pulled out his box knife (blade out) and started waving it all around in hubby's face. I guess not in a threatening way, more in a "I'm bat shit crazy" way. Still, hubby was pissed, doesn't like knives being waved inches from his face. Who does? He called this morning asking if I knew who was in charge of receiving at the company he was delivering to. I knew who it used to be, as I worked there before my current stint as a Mommy, but I called my friend to see how it was now. So many crappy things have been happening to hubby since he's gotten on this new route. He never complains or says how much he hates his new current work situation, but I can just tell. He HATES it. Um, how could you not? One day he is driving down the street to find a dead homeless dude has rolled out into the road in his wheelchair, he's got a "let me puff up my chest and act big" manager at one store who likes to cause troubles, and now he's got some dude waving a box knife blade in his face.

And to top it off, my father-in-law called with bad news today. Hubby was reluctant to post this on his myspaqe blog, but, sadly, I'm sure almost no one I know in real life reads this blog so I'm not going to hesitate here. My father-in-law has kidney cancer. They are going to remove his kidney and hopefully that will take care of everything. Geez, what else could come up today?

Luckily nothing. It was a dark and dreary day weatherwise, and it went perfectly with everything that happened. I made brownies and ate the hugest brownie ever, topped with a quite generous amount of ice-cream. Made me feel a little better.

The other side of the coin

I'm not usually a "glass half empty" type person. I try to be optimistic, although I'm sure some of my mom's always-negative-about-everything attitude has rubbed off on me. I don't know what it is with the house (and its potential sale) that makes me look at everything on the negative. For instance, over lunch hubby and I discussed whether or not we should have the realtor come out before we go on our trip. I explained my reasoning for not having him come before (detailed in my previous blog post). After listening to me, he played devil's advocate and explained some very good reasoning to have the realtor come out earlier. He asked why I always imagined only the negative. Who knows? Maybe the realtor will come up and say we can list our house for higher than we anticipate. That would make for a good vacation, right? We don't need to sell our house right away, we aren't moving for work, we can afford our current mortgage. There is no imminent reason to move right away. Sure, it would be nice to sell the house quickly; we are both looking forward to a larger home with a yard...more room for Beanie and a potential #2 in the future. But we don't HAVE to get out. So, yea, maybe we will have him come out beforehand. Who knows, we could be happily surprised and, if disappointed, we have a whole week away to get a game plan in our heads. And we'll be with my stepdad, who is nothing short of a real estate expert and might have some good advice for us!

That's all, my glass is now half full :)

The end is in sight.

Hubby finished laying the wood laminate flooring in the master bedroom yesterday. It looks fabulous! Our ten year old white (read...gray) carpet is gone!! Ugh, seriously that carpet was so disgusting. We replaced the carpet in Beanie's room and the living room last year, but just did the master now. While I will be more than excited if we are able to sell the condo quickly (especially in the current housing market), it kind of sucks that all this work has been done and someone else is going to get to enjoy it. On the other hand, with a toddler I do think it is best to fix up and move out because undoubtedly things will not stay nice and shiny for long.

The fact that we are almost done brings a whole new slew of worries to my mind. Will we be able to list for a high enough price to enable us to buy a new, bigger house? Can we even afford a house around here? We can't where we currently live and are looking to move about twenty minutes north, where it is still too darn expensive but at least somewhat doable. Will the house sell quickly, or will we be working to keep it immaculate and ready to show for months on end? After all the stress of remodeling for the last nine months, now we will have the stress of having the house for sale.

The biggest question will come be answered when the realtor comes out and tells us what we can list the place for. The answer to that determines whether all the other questions will be moot anyways. At first I was thinking of having him come out before we went on our trip (if we were done by then like we're hoping), but now I think it may be better to wait until we get back. What if the number he gives is much lower than we are anticipating? Wouldn't it be better not to know that before we try to get away for a week and enjoy ourselves? I know that I, for one, would have it on my mind the whole trip if that were the case.

Well, since I've been talking so much about the house, how about a few pics?

The kitchen (before and after)





The master bathroom (before and after)

Thursday Ramblings...

Disappointment...

It is funny how people can disappoint you. I write this mostly because it seems to be eating at my hubby, and a little bit at me as well. If you don't know, our other big project (besides parenting a toddler) is remodeling our condo. Hubby has been working at it for months. I try to help, but mostly feel worthless at any of this remodeling stuff as Beanie, as soon as I seem to get started with something, decides that it is Mommy (and no one else) that she wants. I've been trying harder at keeping up with the daily grind, and have been proud of myself somedays & thinking of how much more I could do on others. The disappointment sets in as I think of the help we have gotten. I know it isn't that people have to help us, but it would be nice. When they have needed us we have been there for them. We are busy too, but we make an effort and, in case of an emergency, drop everything to be there. We don't help with the expectation of reciprocation, but when its family it does kind of sting, especially to hubby. I guess you find out who really are your friends are. The people who have helped us are busy as well. I know everyone is busy, but when it comes to family and friends you take the time to help them out when its really needed. Even if its only for an hour, crap even if its only for 20 minutes! Hubby has been working his arse off since March, and all of this on top of working a fulltime job and taking care of me & Beanie. He is an awesome hubby, dad, and person.

*******

Molars

Ugh! I thought teething was bad, but molars make it horrible! Beanie is so miserable, and I am too. I'm ready for the darn things to cut through, that's for sure. Speaking of, she is incredibly cranky all of the sudden (getting close to nap time?) so I'll have to cut this blog short....

Answers

"No, she doesn't sleep through the night."

"Yes, we are still breastfeeding."

"She sleeps in bed with me."

"No, she can't have potato chips (or creme brulee, pizza, etc etc)."

A really long road trip

Yesterday we headed over the mountains to visit my dad, my grandparents and all my aunts and uncles. We originally weren't going to head over because hubby had to work early this morning and it would make for a long day for him. Well, it became even longer than expected.

We headed up to my sister's and dropped off some boxes in her storage unit & picked her up. We ended up stopping after a ways to get some coffee & lunch. After we got back into the car after coffee, Beanie decided she was not a happy camper and was screaming and crying in the car. It was mostly precipitated by her biting my sister's finger (and man does she have some chompers) and my sis saying "Ow!" pretty loud and not being too happy. After a short while, it was decided that Beanie might be a bit hungry so we stopped at a little park and ride by the train tracks and I nursed her. Tried to get her back into her carseat. Meltdown. So, we went outside and played with some flowers (okay, weeds...they were dandelions lol) before getting back into the car again. After some fussing she managed to fall asleep in the car after me whispering "Dada nigh-nigh, Mama nigh-nigh, kitty nigh-nigh, baby nigh-nigh" about a million times.

The actual event was fun. Beanie had a lot of fun chasing around my 2year old cousin and loved my step-sister's little puppy. I got to see family I haven't seen in quite a long time and I probably won't see them again for a very long time. I met two of my cousins I have never met before.

We wanted to leave by 5 at the latest and did pretty good, leaving at about 5:15. The drive that should've taken about 1 1/2 hours took 3 1/2. Weekend traffic caused the two-lane highway to be at a standstill. It was horrible. Beanie was SO upset, crying to the point of hyperventilating and gagging herself. Hubby sat in the back with her as he was hoping to catch some shut eye on the way home but no such luck. She wasn't having any of it. We stopped at my sister's to drop her off, I nursed Beanie, and hubby and I ate some popsicles. We got Beanie back into the car and she cried and fussed the whole 25min trip back to our house. She was happy as a clam as soon as we got home and took her out of her carseat. We brushed our teeth, I nursed her again, and she fell asleep. She slept for 7 hours, but far the longest stretch in quite some time. But, it having to go through that long drive didn't really make it worth it. Poor kiddo. And poor hubby too....he probably only got about 4 or 5 hours of sleep before he had to get up for work today.

Pass the granola...

So I am sitting here wondering when exactly did I become what others might refer to as "crunchy?" I guess it was a transformation that took place over time. I was going through the closet packing things up and I came across a lazy suzan-type thing for baby food jars. Obviously I didn't plan on making all my own babyfood when buying that item. I came across a post that I made on an online message board last September where I stated that "I just don't see myself breastfeeding beyond one year" and here we are at 13 1/2months and breastfeeding just as much as ever. I just posted again the other day that I don't see myself nursing beyond 2 years (and right now I really don't) but what will change by that time? I never planned on cosleeping and we have most every night since she was born. I have recently delayed some vaccinations and will probably delay more if/when we have #2. I feel strongly about natural childbirth, and while I respect every mother's right to make her own decision I wish I wouldn't get the "wow! you go girl" reaction or the feeling that people close up about their birth stories when encountered with mine. Yes, it has happened. More than once. I've been pondering buying an amber teething necklace for Beanie & thought about cloth diapering. So, when did this big transformation to crunchiness take place?



Apparently my transformation was complete when I went shopping for purses yesterday. DH described both of the ones I picked out as "hippie purses." lol. I didn't get either one, not because of his comment, but because I am waiting for my sister to get a sample purse for me from Nordstrom. I need something bigger, hopefully something that can fit my and Beanie's stuff in it comfortably. My current purse just isn't cutting it at all anymore. Anyways, here are pics of my "hippie purses."

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Our guest bathroom will be remodeled today. Finally, it will be done! We ended up having to hire someone to do the tub but I think it will be worth it because it will be completed today and Hubby can work on other projects. The light at the end of the tunnel is near. And good thing because we found the most amazing house for sale!!! Crossing my fingers it stays on the market a little while, but I don't know...it really is an amazing house and a great price too.

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I woke up to the drabbest weather today. It is yucky! I am glad its cooler, but I could really do without the rain. Beanie and I went to the park last night, which we haven't done for awhile. It was fun. I am hoping it clears up so we can go again this afternoon or evening.

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My next week is so full of activities. Somethings got to give and I just have to figure out what. We are visiting my dad tomorrow, my mom's group has cool meetups every day this week, and my friend's baby shower is on Saturday. She already had her little guy (12 weeks early) and it will be good to see her at her shower. I guess perhaps a few of my meetups are going to have to go by the wayside. We will see.

White noise is my new best friend

Earlier this week, I placed a fan in Beanie's room. It has helped so much at night. She had been waking up when hubby was up getting ready for work, around 2:30 or 3am. She had been staying awake upwards of 2hours sometimes. Not good for mommies or babies. Upon the recommendation of some of my online friends, we tried using the fan for some white noise. It has worked very well! She is not waking up when hubby is getting ready at all. On the other hand, she has been waking up here and there all night and snacking on boob. Just a little and then back to sleep. She has been getting up so early though, somewhere between five and six the last few mornings. Ugh! Wish I could sleep in a little later, but I guess I'll take getting up earlier over being up for 2hours in the middle of the night!

World Breastfeeding Week

Happy World Breastfeeding Week! August 1-7, 2008

http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/

Another post on cosleeping

The other night hubby, who was on his night off and quite sleepy, was yelling that "she is 13 months old and won't even sleep in her goddamn room." Then he stomped off and went to bed while I was rocking Beanie back to sleep. I almost cried & couldn't sleep for nearly an hour because his words cut me like a knife. Not that they are inaccurate, but it was his tone of voice. Well, in fact, they are inaccurate...she will sleep in her room, with me.

I sat there thinking about how I have only done my best and what I think is right with Beanie. I have tried my hardest to be a good mom, and that includes cosleeping. I think part of the problem stems from the fact that in our pre-baby days we discussed cosleeping as something we did not want to do. Then, there I was, a new mom alone with Beanie every night. One night I brought her to bed with me to nurse and we fell asleep together. Wala! Both of us could get a lot more sleep this way. I asked hubby if he minded, since it was something we had discussed not doing before, and he said "no." It wasn't something I intended to do, or planned on being as long lasting, but Beanie and I both sleep better together. And, 5 (usually 6) nights of the week Hubby has to get up in the middle of the night for work so its not like we're really sleeping together (just sleeping, lol) anyways.

Somehow when I brought Beanie home and watched her sleep that first night something changed. It was magical. Granted, those first few nights there wasn't much sleeping going on for anyone, but you know. It clicked, I was here to take care of this little person and make sure they were safe and happy. If cosleeping makes her feel safe and happy (and me too) then that is what works for us right now. I don't feel safe putting her in her bedroom by herself at night, as it is not very close to the master bedroom. She still wakes to nurse a couple times a night and it is easier to be in the room with her. I sleep better. She sleeps better. And, save us independently minded American folks, I think it is pretty common worldwide.

When hubby criticizes or gets mad about the sleeping arrangements, I automatically get defensive. Defensive because not once in over 13 months has he put her down for bed. Granted, he works six nights a week but there is still that one night there. When he says "I've got one night a week where I can sleep in..." it immediately causes me to put my guard up. I never get to sleep in. I wake when Beanie wakes. He gets frustrated because she gets cranky when he is with her when she's tired. Well, good reason, its because she is used to, and only knows, me putting her to bed, not him. There is only one way to rectify that situation in my mind...hubby puts her to bed more often. She doesn't always nurse to sleep and can definitely go to sleep without actually suckling to sleep. It would be possible, albeit a little difficult perhaps, for him to put her to sleep. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

All said, he is my husband and we need to be a team. If he really honestly wants her in her own bed now, then I will take steps towards that goal. I think his main reason for wanting her in her own bed is that he thinks she will sleep with us forever which I just don't think is the case. But, for the sake of everyone's happiness, I guess I need to take baby steps with the Beans to have her be an independent sleeper.

I did it!

I did it! I did something for myself today. While Beanie was taking her nap I did six -- count 'em six -- scrapbook pages. Yay! I haven't scrapped in so long. Now I'm up to her 6 month photos, so I'm only 7 months behind. It was fun, now I want to work on it some more again tomorrow. We'll see what the day brings!

Eeeeewww!

So, I'm sitting here drinking my morning cup of joe (which I decided I do not like the Kona blend I picked up for the hubby) and all of the sudden I notice that Beanie is being very quiet as she's playing on the living room carpet. Naturally, I assume that quiet means she's up to no good (it was too quiet, if you know what I mean) so I go over and take a closer peek at what she is doing. Yuck!!! Sammy (the cat) had thrown up a furball on the carpet and she had picked it up and was playing with it. Disgusting!! I don't know how I didn't see it when we came out this morning. I am so glad she was just playing with it in her fingers and not testing it out in her mouth!

Cracking me up

Beanie cracks me up. She walks all around the house now, laughing and smiling, making "zzzzzz" sounds, and just being a plain old goof. Yesterday she said "dad did it" to which I texted hubby to see what exactly he had done...haha.

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The dairy thing is still somewhat unresolved. We started dairy again last Monday and on Friday I noticed two little hives, one on her face around lunchtime and one on her arm in the evening. I stopped dairy then, but there have been no hives since. Ugh! I told hubby I wished there was some sign that would pop up saying "Yes (or no), I am (am not) reacting to dairy!" Now I still wonder. With all the walking she is doing I am struggling to find some calorie-rich foods to give her now. Before it was yogurt, cheese, fruit, grains and veggies (okay, the veggies I'd been slacking on...bad mommy!). She loves chicken and I guess we'll try some beans and tofu. I am going back and forth whether or not to try some dairy again, or if I should just wait a month or so. I had gone to Whole Foods on Thursday (day before the hive appearance) and picked up some more yogurt and some cottage cheese for her. Maybe I should try and take it back?

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We are headed out in a bit for our mom's group meetup at Tully's. Its been awhile since we've gone and I'm glad to be going today. It is nice to get out and chat with other moms. Does good things for my sanity & Beanie loves interacting with the other kids. Now that she's walking so well we will probably go play in the Sensory Garden too, so we'll see how that goes. I don't know if I'll actually end up getting any espresso..... Beanie was up from 1am until 4am. Ugh! I woke up having a creepy dream just a few minutes before one & I woke Beanie up when I startled awake. I was dreaming there were bugs crawling all over the both of us in bed, so you can imagine I jumped from under the covers when I woke and in my half-awake state I was looking all over Beanie and the blanket for bugs. The little stinker was so tired, she would just about be back asleep and then rustle around, wake herself up and start crying. Over and over and over again. Poor kiddo. So, from my night it would sound like I need espresso, right? But, I had to have a cup of coffee when I woke and I've really been trying to limit my caffeine intake so we'll see. Maybe I can get decaf? I am hoping Beanie will lie down for a bit here so she will be raring to go for the playdate, otherwise I'm probably going to have one cranky toddler on my hands as 11:30 (our playdate time) approaches.

Its my Birthday!

Yay! Happy birthday to me! Its funny because my birthday kind of snuck up on me, much the way it did last year. Last year I was busy with a little newborn, and this year all the birthday planning was going into Bean's bday, not mine. Then, all of the sudden, I was thinking Wow! My birthday is in a few days. I can't think of too much I want...maybe a few hours to scrapbook, hubby to put Beanie down to bed after we go out to dinner tomorrow, my wedding rings sized (I haven't been able to wear them since I was playing around the house with Beans and both rings -- they're not soddered together -- went flying off my finger and onto the floor), a blender. I did get some money from the inlaws and an Old Navy gift card from my mom, so I will be able to buy some new clothes. Woohoo! I still don't have too many that fit properly. Am I really 29 though?

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I'm planning on reintroducing dairy to Beans today. We cut out all dairy a few weeks ago when she got a horrible hive-like rash all over her body. I still don't know what caused it...we washed and rewashed her clothes, put Eucerin lotion on her 2x a day, cut out the dairy. I figure the only way to know if it was dairy would be to reintroduce and see what results. The rash really didn't seem to bother her much. I am so hoping its not the dairy because that would be a real pain in the ass. Plus, she loves cheese and yogurt and since cutting them out I've felt like we've really been slacking on quality solids for her. Wish us luck! I will be happy if we can rule out dairy as the culprit to her rash....

Camping.

Tomorrow we will be taking Beanie on her first camping trip. I am so excited. I really want to start her young with enjoying the outdoors. I never camped when I was a kid, and I just think it would be so much fun as a child. Roasting marshmallows, going out to find that perfect hot dog roasting stick, looking at stars....how could that not be entirely enjoyable, especially as a wee one? I feel like I missed out!! haha. I know there will be the day when she is thinking, Ugh! Mom and Dad want to take me camping again. I am sure she will not think family camping trips are the coolest thing ever when she is older, but I hope to instill a love of the outdoors in her and hope that we have an ejoyable first camping trip as a family!

Routines.

Not only good for babies, but mommies too.

I was so proud of myself and really feeling like an accomplished SAHM before the family came into town for Bean's birthday. I was in a great routine. Got up in the morning, did chores, vacuumed and dusted the living room...every morning. Stayed offline. Stayed away from coffee, or at least drank a couple glasses of water before diving into the coffee pot. I was feeling accomplished, like I was getting things done and making some headway.

Then the fam came into town and things went to pot. I'd sat down a few times starting to blog about the happenings during their visit, but suffice it to say my mother-in-law has no respect for boundaries, the fact that I (or hubby) are the decision makers for Beans, or that we are a separate family unit of our own. I won't go into it more, I have finally (sort of) gotten over the craziness that ensued while they were in town.

I have struggled to get back into my feeling accomplished, get-things-done mode. It was a struggle to create the habit, honestly, and just when I was "getting in the groove" things got crazy. My habit hadn't been established long enough. So here I am, struggling, typing on the computer and drinking my coffee before any chores have been done this morning. My idea is to make a list of all the things I have to accomplish before I turn the computer on; it was working well to not get online until after Beans was asleep. Need to start that again. I feel so much better about myself when I have things accomplished.

On that note, I'm off to get some accomplishing done. Beans is getting a bit crankers anyways, so my coffee drinking time is up!

One year ago tonight....

I was sitting on the bed relaxing while hubby was looking at tv's at Circuit City. We had just finished eating dinner and he had headed out. He kept calling telling me how much this 46" plasma (or is it LCD, I don't even know) tv was, trying to haggle with the salesperson, calling me back, "should we get it?". On the last call he said "Are you okay? You sound weird." I replied that I was "feeling funny." Little did I know in less than 24 hours I would be a mom! My stomach started feeling odd, but it wasn't until about 9:30 or 10 that I realized "Hey, I think these are contractions and they're pretty regular too." At one I woke up and there was no questioning it. We finally headed to the hospital at about 9 in the morning, and our little girl was in our arms just over 5 hours later. Was that really a year ago? I have said this many times before, but it seems like just yesterday. She is getting so big. Tonight as I was putting her in her carseat I told her we were "going to go home, get our jammies on and go night-night." She replied "Nigh-nigh." Ahhh, it made my heart melt. She has gone from a little infant that basically sleeps, eats and poops to a girl who loves to laugh, make a scrunchy face, play with her best friend the kitty and blow kisses. I can't believe she will be one tomorrow. It has been such an amazing year; I absolutely love watching her grow and look forward to what the next year will bring. I'm sure it will be just as amazing, if not better!

Happy Birthday sweet girl! I love you more than I can put into words!

And, yes, we do have a 46" plasma screen TV in our living room. I completely attribute it to my head not being in exactly the right place at the time, lol.

Diet.

Sigh. Nothing reminds me of how woefully inadequate my diet has been lately as trying to feed Beans off my plate. She loves to be eating what I am eating, but its hard when I've been eating crap lately. I long to have the time to make a nice dinner and have the three of us sit down as a family at night together. I really want that time together for us. It sounds silly, but I think its important. At least its important to me. To have a dinner planned out that the three of us can eat. Not cereal (my husband's latest dinner fad) or take out. I know things have been stressful and abnormal around here with the renovations we have going on. Things will get better and back to normal. Things already are.

Bean's birthday party is this week. The family is coming in town starting tomorrow. I always get a little stressed being around the fam, but I am so excited about her birthday. I really can't believe she is going to be one! At times it feels like it was just yesterday that I was big and preggo, or that she was a tiny lil' one who slept all day long. Other times it seems like it was ages ago.

We went on a little hike (honestly more of a walk) on Father's Day. Beans loved the Kelty backpack carrier. As soon as we put her up in it she was laughing and smiling and screeching in delight. Then, after walking for a short while, she sacked out and slept in it. I can't wait to get outdoors more with her. I've been seriously slacking on the walking, but the weather is supposed to be nice this week so I really want to get out more. I can't wait to take her camping and hiking and etc. I think it would be so much fun as a kid to sit out under the stars, roast hotdogs (kosher only please) and marshmallows, and tromp through the woods. I never had that experience as a kid, but it sure is fun as an adult!! Hoping she loves it too.

Alright, I've been meaning to blog here and there for awhile so I'll try to get regular with it again. The computer is in a less than optimal location now as we are working on getting the house ready and need to get the laptop fixed. Things really are coming along though. I feel like I am in a better place, I've got a better routine started, and the light at the end of the remodel tunnel is visible. Yahoo!

Great article from kellymom

I'll have to print this out and keep it handy!



http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html



Extended Breastfeeding Fact Sheet
By Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC

Breastfeeding benefits toddlers and young children...nutritionally, immunilogically and psychologically.

Nursing toddlers benefit NUTRITIONALLY
Although there has been little research done on children who breastfeed beyond the age of two, the available information indicates that breastfeeding continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as breastfeeding continues.
"Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."-- Mandel 2005
"Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins." -- Dewey 2001
In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements -- Dewey 2001
Studies done in rural Bangladesh have shown that breastmilk continues to be an important source of vitamin A in the second and third year of life.-- Persson 1998
It's not uncommon for weaning to be recommended for toddlers who are eating few solids. However, this recommendation is not supported by research. According to Sally Kneidel in "Nursing Beyond One Year" (New Beginnings, Vol. 6 No. 4, July-August 1990, pp. 99-103.):
Some doctors may feel that nursing will interfere with a child's appetite for other foods. Yet there has been no documentation that nursing children are more likely than weaned children to refuse supplementary foods. In fact, most researchers in Third World countries, where a malnourished toddler's appetite may be of critical importance, recommend continued nursing for even the severely malnourished (Briend et al, 1988; Rhode, 1988; Shattock and Stephens, 1975; Whitehead, 1985). Most suggest helping the malnourished older nursing child not by weaning but by supplementing the mother's diet to improve the nutritional quality of her milk (Ahn and MacLean. 1980; Jelliffe and Jelliffe, 1978) and by offering the child more varied and more palatable foods to improve his or her appetite (Rohde, 1988; Tangermann, 1988; Underwood, 1985).

Nursing toddlers are SICK LESS OFTEN
The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness (AAFP 2001).
Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers (Gulick 1986).
"Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation" (Nutrition During Lactation 1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991).
Per the World Health Organization, "a modest increase in breastfeeding rates could prevent up to 10% of all deaths of children under five: Breastfeeding plays an essential and sometimes underestimated role in the treatment and prevention of childhood illness." [emphasis added]
References
Nursing toddlers have FEWER ALLERGIES
Many studies have shown that one of the best ways to prevent allergies and asthma is to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months and continue breastfeeding long-term after that point. Breastfeeding can be helpful for preventing allergy by:
reducing exposure to potential allergens (the later baby is exposed, the less likely that there will be an allergic reaction),
speeding maturation of the protective intestinal barrier in baby's gut,
coating the gut and providing a barrier to potentially allergenic molecules,
providing anti-inflammatory properties that reduce the risk of infections (which can act as allergy triggers).
References
Nursing toddlers are SMART
Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.
References
Nursing toddlers are WELL ADJUSTED SOCIALLY
According to Sally Kneidel in "Nursing Beyond One Year" (New Beginnings, Vol. 6 No. 4, July-August 1990, pp. 99-103.):"Research reports on the psychological aspects of nursing are scarce. One study that dealt specifically with babies nursed longer than a year showed a significant link between the duration of nursing and mothers' and teachers' ratings of social adjustment in six- to eight-year-old children (Ferguson et al, 1987). In the words of the researchers, 'There are statistically significant tendencies for conduct disorder scores to decline with increasing duration of breastfeeding.'"
According to Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq. in "Extended Breastfeeding and the Law": "Breastfeeding is a warm and loving way to meet the needs of toddlers and young children. It not only perks them up and energizes them; it also soothes the frustrations, bumps and bruises, and daily stresses of early childhood. In addition, nursing past infancy helps little ones make a gradual transition to childhood."
Baldwin continues: "Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable." Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely.
References
Nursing a toddler is NORMAL
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)
The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that "Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired." They also note that "If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned." (AAFP 2001)
A US Surgeon General has stated that it is a lucky baby who continues to nurse until age two. (Novello 1990)
The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1992, WHO 2002).
Scientific research by Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD shows that 2.5 to 7.0 years of nursing is what our children have been designed to expect (Dettwyler 1995).
References [see also position statements supporting breastfeeding]
MOTHERS also benefit from nursing past infancy
Extended nursing delays the return of fertility in some women by suppressing ovulation (References).
Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer (References). Studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer risk.
Breastfeeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer (References).
Breastfeeding reduces the risk of uterine cancer (References).
Breastfeeding reduces the risk of endometrial cancer (References).
Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis. During lactation a mother may experience decreases of bone mineral. A nursing mom's bone mineral density may be reduced in the whole body by 1 to 2 percent while she is still nursing. This is gained back, and bone mineral density may actually increase, when the baby is weaned from the breast. This is not dependent on additional calcium supplementation in the mother's diet. (References).
Breastfeeding reduces the risk of rheumatoid arthritis. (References).
Breastfeeding has been shown to decrease insulin requirements in diabetic women (References).
Breastfeeding moms tend to lose weight easier (References).